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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    140

    Default What Do You Have to Prove for a Court to Grant Sole Custody

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA

    I was always under the impression (from reading online) that it is almost not possible to receive sole custody unless there is a very very good reason. The parents just not getting along or anything like that is not reason enough. We have our court date next week and after talking to a friend I am considering to request sole custody. She just had to prove to the judge that the childs father was not very involved and not responding to calls or messages. Therefore shared custody would not be beneficial to the child. I could prove that he is not paying support and does not respond to any texts. I have not called him yet.

    I don't want to make it impossible to see her but I want to make sure I am able to make decisions about the child by myself as I am not able to rely on him. I am currently unemployed so hiring a lawyer is unfortunately not an option.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    273

    Default Re: Reason Enough for Court to Grant Sole Custody

    Maybe her father is busy WORKING to pay child support. How will you getting a job affect your ability to do things for your shared child?

    Your shared child has two parents! Why should you be the only one allowed to make decisions regarding your shared child? How would you feel if you were excluded? You should be willing to live by the rules you want to impose ,

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Reason Enough for Court to Grant Sole Custody

    Be very careful thinking your friend's situation is identical to yours ... and make sure you actually understand the terminology.

    Do you have an attorney yet? You need one.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    140

    Default Re: Reason Enough for Court to Grant Sole Custody

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
    View Post
    Maybe her father is busy WORKING to pay child support. How will you getting a job affect your ability to do things for your shared child?

    Your shared child has two parents! Why should you be the only one allowed to make decisions regarding your shared child? How would you feel if you were excluded? You should be willing to live by the rules you want to impose ,

    He is not paying child support right now and hasn't paid in 2 month (not considering the months he has not at all or paid just very little last year). So I am sorry but that is a bs excuse. He is also not responding to any messages. How busy are you that you cannot respond to a message in regards to your child? The last message I sent was asking him if he is alright since I have not heard from him. I am requesting to be the only one allowed to make decisions as he is not available to make decisions together. He is not involved in anything (his choice) school, doctor visits, any events and anything else. He has not seen his daughter in weeks or even talked to her. I am considering sole custody because he is not responding to anything.

    Me getting a job won't change anything for my daughter, besides the fact that she will start preschool. I am still available for her the rest of the day, week and if the preschool were to call me I am able to answer. And I was working until recently so I was also taking care of my child, at the same time. He was still absent.

    And if I take myself out of my childs live and not willing to work together with the other parent, I honestly hope, that he would take the same steps in hope to make life easier for our child.

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Be very careful thinking your friend's situation is identical to yours ... and make sure you actually understand the terminology.

    Do you have an attorney yet? You need one.
    I don't. I am not able to afford one right now as I am currently unemployed. Hopefully not much longer.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    473

    Default Re: Reason Enough for Court to Grant Sole Custody

    Quote Quoting kathak
    View Post
    He is also not responding to any messages. How busy are you that you cannot respond to a message in regards to your child? The last message I sent was asking him if he is alright since I have not heard from him. .
    How often are you texting him?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    140

    Default Re: Reason Enough for Court to Grant Sole Custody

    Quote Quoting Shadowbunny
    View Post
    How often are you texting him?
    I texted him 4 times between Feb 8th and today.
    First time was asking if he was going to pay child support,
    Second time was again asking about child support
    Third time was asking if he got the message from the mediator because we were in a group chat and my ex did not respond
    Fourth time was today and I was just asking if he is getting my messages in regards to his daughter.

    Last time he responded was on Feb 7th. Telling me that he would call later ( I told him his daughter wanted to talk to him) but he never called.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Reason Enough for Court to Grant Sole Custody

    It sounds like you already have sole custody de facto. Another option for you to consider is to seek joint legal custody where you have tiebreaker privileges.

    This is what I got on my divorce order since my ex isn't responsive or willing to co-parent either. It's less contentious than trying to say you want sole legal custody, the end result is the same, and occasionally I let her know of legal decisions she could weigh in on, but since she rarely responds to them unless I ask her to pay her fair share of support, I am free to make these decisions. The only time she did respond was regarding a dental procedure that I had to wait for the dentist to reach out to her to get her to agree to. I'm still waiting for her share of that medical bill but otherwise the decision making process has been painless.

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