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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    1

    Default Did My Spouse Abandon Me

    We wer happy back then. We got married and made plans for our future family. Then he decided to return to his birthplace. He got accepted in the military. Went to Chicago for the schooling. I arrived here in the US and stayed at my Aunts house. He said he couldnt get me in coz he is busy in the school. I said its fine. I understand. I look for job and try to survived he didnt gave me money coz I know he is still school.

    When he said he is gonna be station in California. I moved again to my cousins family there bec. if in case he's gonna be station there its gonna be easier for me to move in with him. After 8 months he was sent to Virginia to have his C school I begged him to take me with him. I miss him so much. Ived been trying to understand him for so long..for not giving me enough time. And for just seeing me once. He said I can go there last Oct. but then he said Dec. and after a lot of fights..of me insisting to go there.

    I finally move here in Virginia. But I was devastated when he told me that Ill be living alone. And that I will pay the rent in the apartment. To pay the bills and my food. What had happen to him? I understand him for so long..for not complaining when he is not giving me money for my bills in Hawaii..or when Im in California..because I know his family is his priority..because he is the bread winner..all of that I tried to undertand..because love means sacrifice..But is this too much ask?

    Ive been living alone for so long. He is in the navy. And God knows if they know there that he is married. I dont ask questions because he doesnt want that? Is this all worth it? I dont know what to do anymore..I am helpless..alone and broken. What should I do? Will I survive in this kind of relationship? Or am I too naive to face the truth that he doesnt want me anymore? Did he really abandon me?? Please help..I need to know. I just feel like I wanna sleep forever now...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Did My Spouse Abandon Me

    You would know better than us if he has abandoned you -- whether he is away because he is deployed to a distant location, whether he comes home when on leave, and the like. But if you're not even communicating to the point that you know where he is or when he'll be home, he's contributing nothing to household expenses, and doesn't even visit while on leave, you should consider whether you want to remain married.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    473

    Default Re: Did My Spouse Abandon Me

    Quote Quoting ApplePie21
    View Post
    We wer happy back then. We got married and made plans for our future family. Then he decided to return to his birthplace. He got accepted in the military. Went to Chicago for the schooling. I arrived here in the US and stayed at my Aunts house. He said he couldnt get me in coz he is busy in the school. I said its fine. I understand. I look for job and try to survived he didnt gave me money coz I know he is still school.

    When he said he is gonna be station in California. I moved again to my cousins family there bec. if in case he's gonna be station there its gonna be easier for me to move in with him. After 8 months he was sent to Virginia to have his C school I begged him to take me with him. I miss him so much. Ived been trying to understand him for so long..for not giving me enough time. And for just seeing me once. He said I can go there last Oct. but then he said Dec. and after a lot of fights..of me insisting to go there.

    I finally move here in Virginia. But I was devastated when he told me that Ill be living alone. And that I will pay the rent in the apartment. To pay the bills and my food. What had happen to him? I understand him for so long..for not complaining when he is not giving me money for my bills in Hawaii..or when Im in California..because I know his family is his priority..because he is the bread winner..all of that I tried to undertand..because love means sacrifice..But is this too much ask?

    Ive been living alone for so long. He is in the navy. And God knows if they know there that he is married. I dont ask questions because he doesnt want that? Is this all worth it? I dont know what to do anymore..I am helpless..alone and broken. What should I do? Will I survive in this kind of relationship? Or am I too naive to face the truth that he doesnt want me anymore? Did he really abandon me?? Please help..I need to know. I just feel like I wanna sleep forever now...
    Contact the Chaplain's office at the naval base, at Norfolk the number is (757) 444-7361. He or she can help you figure out a few things, including are you enrolled in the Defense Eligibility Enrollment Reporting System. If you are properly enrolled in DEERS, you are entitled to medical care, counseling, and spousal support. If he failed to enroll you in DEERS, you can contact his Commanding Officer. The Chaplain should be able to assist you with that, as well.

    And as you already know, you havee been abandoned. So now the question is what do you plan to do about it? I suggest you take care of the DEERS issue first so you can get some money coming into you. Then file for divorce.

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