If your order is not yet final, and you want the order to clearly articulate your respective rights to phone access, school records, and medical records, instruct your lawyer to make that part of the negotiation.

For telephone access, if there is a temporary custody order in effect, review the order. If you cannot identify a violation of the order, you can talk to your lawyer about the possibility of seeking modification to allow reasonable telephone access. If you can identify a violation, you may talk to your lawyer about whether it would make sense to file a motion seeking to enforce that provision.

For educational records, both parents can ask the school to send them copies of communications and other important documents. If an event calendar is not otherwise available, you can communicate with the school and teachers about events and activities.

For medical records relating to routine care, one would hope that the parents would be able to communicate between themselves and share information about vaccines, medications and the like, as well as routine care. Both parents can inform the medical provider that they would both like to receive any communication about the child's medical needs and care. If the child has a chronic medical issue that requires coordination of care, and one parent is not cooperative, then the issue may have to be resolved by a court. For an acute conditions, if there is a failure of communication, the aggrieved parent can consider whether it would be a wise investment of time and money to address the issue in court just in case it happens again in the future.

You can talk to your lawyer about whether, for now, you may take the initiative in scheduling medical care and optometrist visits, informing your ex- of the dates and locations of appointments. If you prefer not to take the lead on those issues, or take responsibility for ensuring that your child makes it to her appointments, you are effectively putting your ex- in the driver's seat despite her apparent unwillingness to communicate.

If mom wants to enroll the child in girl scouts on mom's parenting time, mom can do that. If you don't want to take the child to a girl scout's meeting that falls on your parenting time, you can choose not to take her. Ideally, you'll discuss and resolve this type of issue with your ex- so as to not involve, or potentially upset or disappoint your child.