How Can a 16-Year-Old Avoid Being Required to Move Home

[Mr. Knowitall]

If the child is being abused or neglected, report it to protective services. The child cannot get an order of protection that would allow her, in effect, to run away from home.

[Nikaya]

I do appreciate the responses, however, please understand I am not blowing this out of proportion or "stirring the pot". The mother has shown up, police have been called, the mother physically went after her son, the 21 year old brother has physically restrained the mother, we have spoken to Child Protective Services. I am not stirring the pot from an irrational fear of the mother's idle threats. I am an intelligent and reasonable individual, there is a legitimate fear based on conversations with CPS that the child will be removed from the home and forced to live with her mother in a car. The situation has been a roller coaster ride, but we've always been able to reason with the mother. Right now the girl is with her grandmother and out of her mother's reach, but that is not ideal as it takes her out of school. We will be attempting a TRO based on the past behavior or the mother and her threats. This is a real situation. The courts are closed today and we hope to get something settled quickly to return the girl to her home. I have not gone into all the minute details, but the threat from the mother is real.

I understand you are not telling me what I want to hear, and I don't like it, however, my goal here is to find some way to protect the child and leave her where she is doing well. Based on what I am hearing that may not be possible and that sucks! CPS is supposed to protect kids not allow them to be endangered just because of a little DNA. I'm sorry for sounding angry, but for a system designed to protect it is failing miserably.

If anyone has options I have not already asked about, I am very open to any ideas and possibilities.

[cbg]

I understand that you want a legal way to keep the child out of her mother's hands.

Do you understand that until or unless a court strips the mother of her rights or otherwise removes her from her mother's custody, no such legal way exists?

[Nikaya]

The child has been basically abandoned by her mother for more than 6 months, does that weigh in at all. As I stated Protective services in this area have not been much help.

I guess that is the "Real" question, how do we approach the court to convince them strip the mother of her rights?

[Mercy&Grace]

Where is the child's father ? If the child has a legal father. He has rights. The court is not going to just terminate the mothers parental rights. That is not the way it works.

If CPS does not think this situation is serious enough to get involved, remove the child and put her in foster care. You may not have enough to get a TRO. I do not see the court making the 21 year old unemployed brother. or mom's ex boyfriend the child's guardian if they find legal ground to remove the child from mom's custody

CPS has to do their job a certain way. CPS not doing what you think they should do Does not mean they do not protect children.

[Nikaya]

I get everything you are saying, I do understand we are in a difficult situation, the 21 year old brother is not in a position to be responsible and the ex has no legal rights. However, we truly fear for the child if her mother takes her. She is living a dangerous lifestyle with very unsavory characters in her vehicle and randomly couch surfing in known drug related homes. Not a good place for a 16/17 year old girl. I get that a child living with an ex of her mothers also doesn't seem to make sense. I am heart broken over this and we will find a way to keep the child from her mother legal or not. We want to do it legally and keep her where she is, ultimately we will protect this girl.

I thank everyone for your responses, I get that we are up against a wall and I am not going to find a glimmer of hope in the legal system

[Mercy&Grace]

How do you know the father has no legal rights ? Have you seen the child's birth certificate ? Is the father named in the child's birth certificate? If he is. He has legal rights.

If the father truly has no legal rights. He might be able to establish legal rights. The court will have to see a copy of the child's birth certificate before they can determine if he has any legal standing.

[Nikaya]

We know who the biological father is, he would be willing to take her, even though they only recently became acquainted, she barely knows him and is not comfortable with that option. Although, he and his family want to build the relationship and so does the child, but at their time and pace.

The mother's ex came into the picture when the kids were very young, but he is not the biological father. He is in all ways the man who has stepped in and acted in every way as a father, he is not listed on the birth certificate.
We think our best option is for her grandmother to petition for guardianship, we did not want to remove the kid from where she currently is due to school and her life is in enough turmoil, but it may be our only option.

I never said the biological father didn't have rights, he will fight for them if we ask. Everyone in this situation is working together to find the best solution for the child, except for the mother. We are all working and trying to come up with the best plan. If it makes sense for the biological father to demand his rights he will. However, since he hasn't been a part of her life until recently we didn't think that would be our best angle.

[Mercy&Grace]

The child not being comfortable living with dad may or may not matter to the court. The child's safety, as the court defines it. It the priority. With dad in the picture. There is probably little to no reason for the child to be appointed a guardian by the court.

The courts do all they can to Not terminate a parents parental rights. Nothing you have said is grounds for Termination Of Parental Rights. Dad needs to consider filing for custody. The court might award him joint custody. The child would have to live where dad and mom say. That may or may not be where the child and others,want the child to live.

[Nikaya]

It seems a travesty that when a child has so many people who care, and who are working together in her best interests, people who know the situation. That the courts would allow one very crazy person to destroy that child's life. We are caring and considerate people, we are also doing our best to get the mother the help she needs, it is difficult because of her situation. We take none of this lightly and we all want what is best, the ex-boyfriend, the biological father, the grandmother, the aunt, the uncle.... We could fill the court with people to make our case and it seems she would still end up living in a van or drug house with predators and her mother out of her mind and unable to protect her. Yes, we have a huge human trafficking and heroin problem in our area and the mother is tied up with many of those people.

I get it, we have no legal options..... Now I am just venting my frustration