I have had PTSD for a long time now. It was made worse by the authorities God established over me taking my daughter from me and giving her to my rapist to raise. My rapist is a government employee and they worked to give my rapist the child he created in me.
Now years later the government is claiming I faked PTSD and that I merely have "poor impulse control" (which doesn't describe me at all). They sent people to follow me around and I knew I was being followed around because I have PTSD which involves hypervigilance. I didn't know who was following me and people said I was just being paranoid that why would anyone follow you around. Then I was accosted by attorney general's office.
Couple months ago I ended up with copy of fraud report and they deliberately deleted and altered medical records to make it look like I didn't have any health problems. For example, they took a paragraph from the urologist where I hadn't seen him for a couple years due to insurance mess ups (I was seeing a quack urologist during those two years instead and he messed me up and made me worse) and took out where the urologist says why I hadn't seen him for those two years and took out where he explained why and about my going to see someone else during those two years. They took out where my doctor was talking about my having problems. So, they submitted it into the fraud report that I had not seen him in two years and made it look like I had nothing wrong with me. It was obvious that it was deliberate. It reminded me of when CPS twisted things to justify giving my rapist custody of my daughter and stripping me of any right to even talk to her just so their government buddy could get custody of her.
They wrote up lies and exaggerations like claiming I went south for a bit of warm air when I was homeless and drove south during bad winter 2016 to try and keep from freezing to death with my pets (shelters wouldn't allow me to have my pets with me). They twisted what to me was a life and death situation and made it sound like I went on vacation. They claimed my food stamps were discontinued and left an innuendo that I did something bad to get them cut off when I was still receiving food stamps at the time. They kept harping on my leg/ankle injury and how I didn't use ambulatory devices and inferring that made me a fraud when I didn't ever say I used devices in first place and I had only mentioned the injury to describe how bad my dizzy spells are because I fall and sustain injury (plus the injury happened months prior to their following me around anyway). They went on about how they saw me talking on a cell phone in public couple of times with no signs of anxiety (I was upset at time talking to someone because I was being followed and being told I was just being paranoid). The whole ten page fraud report was filled with things like that with very little truth.
The past couple of months since I obtained a copy of this report I have been, when I haven't been having major sickness, trying to find ways to discredit what was said about me. I even went to the food stamp office where I was living when the report was done and told them what was going on and they provided me with documentation to show I never lost my food stamps. I've been going through everything like that trying to discredit the report with actual evidence so that it wouldn't be just my word against theirs. The stress has taken its toll though and my therapist even had my medication doubled.
The mental evaluation they had done on me showed that I hadn't got better. They didn't like that, so they paid someone else who never even saw me to claim I have "poor impulse control" instead of PTSD. I've been seeing therapists off and on since I was a child and not one ever said I had poor impulse control. I was criticized before for being obsessive in analyzing things, even small things, before doing them. My family is extremely toxic/abusive though and I got severely punished for even the smallest of mistakes, so I get extremely anxious when I am faced with having to make decisions. Always afraid of making mistakes. I don't even have much of an impulsiveness to have to control.
My family had helped set it up for my rapist to get custody of my daughter. They are also behind the anonymous letter claiming I am a fraud that set off this investigation in the first place. And the lead investigator used to work for a government commission to go after child abusers, so my family's lies against me that caused me to lose my girl are on record as truth even though there was never any evidence since it wasn't true. I theorize that he saw what I was accused of and is angry I am still walking the streets. I printed out from internet a news report where he did this work in his past.
I grew up being constantly abused. My family allowed me to be raped by this older man for about a year before I was forced to marry him. I was still a child. This man continued to rape me and beat me on regular, random basis. I never knew when for sure, but it was frequent. How could I not have PTSD from the life I was forced to live. Then, after I got away from him, my family and the government would help him locate me and I kept having to move around because he kept showing up. My biggest regret is not leaving the family behind too, but people kept quoting scripture about forgiveness, etc. and I'd been raised in religious abuse too so I was really broke down. Reading Romans 13 and reflecting on what the authorities have done to me though make me realize that God isn't a loving being, either. I know I can't ever trust anyone. I obtained some proof of my father's criminal past. He tried to murder his first wife and child and didn't serve much time with a plea deal. I grew up around someone like that. He'd threaten to kill me and abuse me on frequent but random basis. And the rest of the family was abusive to me as well. I've been suicidal since I was a little girl and have been locked up in a hospital before. How could I fake all of this for all this time?
My family found out I was talking about what all they did and I think that's why they sent the letter. My father and his new wife specifically.
If I lose my appeal I am dead. I'm so messed up I've never been able to hold down a job. And I've tried very hard to hold down a job. I tried very hard to be normal. I've had hard time dealing with all this stress and I think about killing myself often. My therapist doesn't want me to kill myself though and just doubled my meds.