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  1. #1
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    Nov 2017
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    Default Will a Job That Requires Extensive Travel Cause You to Lose Custody

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama

    I have had custody of my daughter since she was 2 and shes now 9. Her mother has moved around a lot (3 different states in 5 years) and has been overseas with her husband for the last 2 years, only visiting our daughter during the summer months. She claims this will be the last year she is their and then will try to get custody of our daughter. I was just offered a very good job but will only be home on the weekends and holidays. I will have to leave my daughter with my wife of 5 years. Will taking this job cause me to lose custody?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    Not necessarily but seriously, would you rather your child be with the other parent or some caretaker most of the time?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    Quote Quoting Bris2010
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    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama

    I have had custody of my daughter since she was 2 and shes now 9. Her mother has moved around a lot (3 different states in 5 years) and has been overseas with her husband for the last 2 years, only visiting our daughter during the summer months. She claims this will be the last year she is their and then will try to get custody of our daughter. I was just offered a very good job but will only be home on the weekends and holidays. I will have to leave my daughter with my wife of 5 years. Will taking this job cause me to lose custody?
    It won't automatically cause you to lose custody, but it definitely will not help you keep primary custody either. The general feeling is that if a child can be in the primary physical custody of a parent most of the time, rather than a third party, that its in the child's best interest to be with the parent.

    Your child would be being raised by your wife rather than by either of her parents if you take that job. Your wife is not her parent just as mom's husband is not her parent either.

    By the way, from your description of mom's living arrangements for the last 7 years it does sound like mom is married to a military man and that is the reason for the frequent moves. If that is the case, you need to say so when explaining things to people. Otherwise it could make you seem as though you are trying to make mom appear as unstable, when in reality the moves have nothing to do with instability.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    By the way, from your description of mom's living arrangements for the last 7 years it does sound like mom is married to a military man and that is the reason for the frequent moves. If that is the case, you need to say so when explaining things to people. Otherwise it could make you seem as though you are trying to make mom appear as unstable, when in reality the moves have nothing to do with instability.
    That's a pretty big assumption to make based on the few facts provided.

    Probably a better *guess* is mom moved overseas to marry a non-US citizen. He didn't say she was with him while she was moving around the United States, only that she has been with him since she was overseas.

    Still, that's a guess and probably not accurate either.

    In general, it's probably better to base advice on the provided facts and resist "filling in the blanks" since in reality there is an enormous amount of detail at play that in some ways hurts the case of the OP and in some ways helps the case of the OP. The OPs on these forums (myself included) aren't attorneys and it is almost certainly a given that they don't know what they don't know.

    Also, when we make assumptions, it can (rightly or wrongly) convey a bias that undermines credibility.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    Quote Quoting law_guy1234
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    That's a pretty big assumption to make based on the few facts provided.

    Probably a better *guess* is mom moved overseas to marry a non-US citizen. He didn't say she was with him while she was moving around the United States, only that she has been with him since she was overseas.

    Still, that's a guess and probably not accurate either.

    In general, it's probably better to base advice on the provided facts and resist "filling in the blanks" since in reality there is an enormous amount of detail at play that in some ways hurts the case of the OP and in some ways helps the case of the OP. The OPs on these forums (myself included) aren't attorneys and it is almost certainly a given that they don't know what they don't know.

    Also, when we make assumptions, it can (rightly or wrongly) convey a bias that undermines credibility.
    Whether it ends up that mom is moving around due to her husband being military or something else is going on does not make it invalid for me to give dad some "just in case" advice. If my guess was wrong dad simply can ignore the advice. If my guess was right or there is something else going on that makes the moves not due to instability, then the OP has some food for thought.

  6. #6
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    Feb 2008
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    it wasn't that big a stretch and personally I think it is good "food for thought" -- that is to consider WHY mom is moving so much. Other possibilities would be her own employment, etc. OP didn't really state one way or the other but it's not always a definite deal-breaker.

    That said, I would suspect mom will have a much better case to ask for custody if/when dad takes the job that requires that much travel. Because once mom returns to the area, she would at least get the child every other weekend which is even less time than dad has now.

    Honestly I wouldn't take the job.....

  7. #7
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    Nov 2017
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    I would rather her be with my wife because of my ex wifes history and her moving around so much and lying to me.

    Quote Quoting hr for me
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    it wasn't that big a stretch and personally I think it is good "food for thought" -- that is to consider WHY mom is moving so much. Other possibilities would be her own employment, etc. OP didn't really state one way or the other but it's not always a definite deal-breaker.

    That said, I would suspect mom will have a much better case to ask for custody if/when dad takes the job that requires that much travel. Because once mom returns to the area, she would at least get the child every other weekend which is even less time than dad has now.

    Honestly I wouldn't take the job.....
    Since she lives in another state she doesnt get her every other weekend, only evrry other major holiday and summer break. So i would still see her more than her mother. Especially if she does decide to stay overseas.

    Quote Quoting hr for me
    View Post
    it wasn't that big a stretch and personally I think it is good "food for thought" -- that is to consider WHY mom is moving so much. Other possibilities would be her own employment, etc. OP didn't really state one way or the other but it's not always a definite deal-breaker.

    That said, I would suspect mom will have a much better case to ask for custody if/when dad takes the job that requires that much travel. Because once mom returns to the area, she would at least get the child every other weekend which is even less time than dad has now.

    Honestly I wouldn't take the job.....
    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    It won't automatically cause you to lose custody, but it definitely will not help you keep primary custody either. The general feeling is that if a child can be in the primary physical custody of a parent most of the time, rather than a third party, that its in the child's best interest to be with the parent.

    Your child would be being raised by your wife rather than by either of her parents if you take that job. Your wife is not her parent just as mom's husband is not her parent either.

    By the way, from your description of mom's living arrangements for the last 7 years it does sound like mom is married to a military man and that is the reason for the frequent moves. If that is the case, you need to say so when explaining things to people. Otherwise it could make you seem as though you are trying to make mom appear as unstable, when in reality the moves have nothing to do with instability.
    He is a contractor he can technically move anywhere in the country since he is outside of the country 90% of the time. Besides even if they are jumping from state to state for his job, shes moved to 4 different houses since 2013. I feel its unstable.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    Quote Quoting Bris2010
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    I would rather her be with my wife because of my ex wifes history and her moving around so much and lying to me.



    Since she lives in another state she doesnt get her every other weekend, only evrry other major holiday and summer break. So i would still see her more than her mother. Especially if she does decide to stay overseas.





    He is a contractor he can technically move anywhere in the country since he is outside of the country 90% of the time. Besides even if they are jumping from state to state for his job, shes moved to 4 different houses since 2013. I feel its unstable
    .
    You may feel that its unstable but if its for the purpose of a job it will not be considered to be unstable by a judge.

    Dad, seriously...you are talking about a situation where mom moves frequently due to her husband's job, vs a situation where the child will be being raised by a non-parent and only seeing dad on the weekends. AND, your new job is a change in circumstances that allows the door to open to a potential custody change.

    I do not see this as a slam dunk for either one of you...and in my opinion the odds are leaning in mom's favor if you take this job.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Traveling Job

    Now that you state you are married it changes things and she remains home. Now it’s closer to a toss up. It will depend on how the courts view the benefits of one house over the other for the child.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Traveling Job


    I would rather her be with my wife because of my ex wifes history and her moving around so much and lying to me.
    Mmmhmm. Yes, please go to court and tell the judge exactly what you wrote here.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

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