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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    Default Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

    Three kids: 8, 10 and 13.

    We have a shared parenting plan. It calls for 50/50 time but in practice I have had them quite a bit more, and it has gotten a lot more lately.

    The other parent says they have given up trying to be a parent to the 10 and 13 year old. I have suggested counseling for them and the children. I have done more driving to facilitate visits (beyond the clearly mandated driving responsibilities spelled out in the court filed parenting plan), even when the other parent moved farther away.

    Other parent refuses any effort at reconciliation between them and the kids, saying "if they say they hate me then I don't have to take them" and has stopped taking the 10 and 13 year old altogether. I've suggested counseling to work things out but other parent refuses.

    I do all the driving for them, school functions, doctor visits, shopping trips, etc., etc.

    Now, the other parent is saying they will "sign over custody of XXX and YYY so you don't have to consult me on school and doctor stuff." Our agreement, like most shared plans I'm sure, says we make all those decisions together.

    However, the other parents gets along just fine with the 8 year old. They have a pretty healthy relationship, really. At least from what I can tell. They want to continue shared parenting with this child, which is fine with me and I wish could be done for all of them.

    Anyway, my questions are:

    Can the other parent permit me to assume sole custody of two of our children while maintaining shared parenting with the other child?

    If so, how do we do this assuming we can agree throughout the process?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    1,179

    Default Re: Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    Is the parent also wanting to get out of paying child support for those two children?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    27

    Default Re: Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    No, just hasn't been taking them for the time spelled out in the plan and wants to make it "official" -- I assume the thinking is they feel they will somehow be in contempt or in violation of the plan if they don't have them as much as the plan says they should (or not at all in this case).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    Quote Quoting law_guy1234
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    Can the other parent permit me to assume sole custody of two of our children while maintaining shared parenting with the other child?
    Yes, but it is not a common arrangement.
    Quote Quoting law_guy1234
    If so, how do we do this assuming we can agree throughout the process?
    You should consider getting help from a lawyer. You would need to bring a motion (joint or unopposed) to modify custody, establish the threshold changed circumstances since the last order, convince the court that the new arrangement is in the best interest of the minor children, then submit an order for approval and entry. A local lawyer will be able to advise you as to how to present your issues to the court, and whether the judge assigned to your case is likely to be receptive to this sort of arrangement.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    27

    Default Re: Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    OK, thanks. Good info. Clearly, then, this isn't something that the ex can just elect to do, and a court will need to be convinced to approve it even if we both agree.

    I will contact an attorney.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    671

    Default Re: Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    Of course, the other parentt is free to not exercise parenting time with those two children, as well as simply leave decisions to you. The court will not likely find him/her in contempt, especially if you do not file a motion against him.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    Default Re: Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    jumanji, that's interesting, and something I guess I really wasn't thinking about.

    So if a parent doesn't exercise parenting time according to the allocation in the court-approved parenting plan, would the court find them in contempt if the other parent files a motion?

    I know... "it depends"... but for sake of simplicity, say the parent has no reason for choosing not to exercise their time other than, "the child really doesn't want to come here" or "we just don't get along, so I'm not getting them this weekend."

    To take this a little further, is there a good chance I would be successful in filing for sole custody if I can demonstrate the other parent has habitually refused to exercise their parenting time?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Ex Wants to Give Up Shared Parented for One Child, Not Both

    Quote Quoting law_guy1234
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    jumanji, that's interesting, and something I guess I really wasn't thinking about.

    So if a parent doesn't exercise parenting time according to the allocation in the court-approved parenting plan, would the court find them in contempt if the other parent files a motion?

    I know... "it depends"... but for sake of simplicity, say the parent has no reason for choosing not to exercise their time other than, "the child really doesn't want to come here" or "we just don't get along, so I'm not getting them this weekend."

    To take this a little further, is there a good chance I would be successful in filing for sole custody if I can demonstrate the other parent has habitually refused to exercise their parenting time?
    Ok, let me see if I can explain this in a little bit different way so that its clearer to you.

    Parenting time is only an obligation when custody is joint and the lack of exercising the custody is causing a financial burden to the other parent. A judge will not care whether or not the schedule is being honored unless one of the parents complains about it to the judge. Even then, the judge cannot hold the parent in contempt for not exercising their parenting time, the judge can only make the parent be responsible for the costs associated with that.

    I will give you an example...a real life one:

    Mom and Dad had 4 children. Mom was a nurse with lots of experience and seniority. She had primary custody and she arranged her schedule so that she worked double shifts a the hospital during dad's parenting time, so that it was not necessary for her to work during her parenting time at all. Dad got a new girlfriend and suddenly stopped taking all of his parenting time, causing serious problems for mom. Therefore mom took it to court. The judge did not hold dad in contempt for not exercising his time nor did he required dad to exercise his time. What he DID require dad to do was that if he chose not to exercise one of his parenting days, he was responsible for both finding and paying for child care for the 4 children for that day, because his decision not to exercise his parenting time negatively effected mom's employment.

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