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  1. #1
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    Default Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    My question involves defamation in the state of: California

    I am being accused by a woman of attempting to kidnap her minor child and then harm said child. She has been spreading these rumors relentlessly to the point that I am unable to be any part of my local neighborhood children's groups

    I also noticed that I was being thrown out of parenting groups on social media and suspected she was spreading rumors but had no idea what they were. A neighbor "did me a favor today" and told me that she was telling people that she was "afraid of me" and that I had threatened to kidnap and hurt her minor child. People are avoiding me without even hearing my side of the story and I want to put a stop to this. This neighbor does not want to "get involved" but felt that I "needed to know". I know that this neighbor is telling the truth because this woman has previously stated to me that she finds me "threatening" and wants my husband to reassure her that she is no danger of physical or verbal abuse from me ! That led her to be blocked on social media by me and on my cell phone. I want to know if I can do anything about her viciousness which has ruined my name in my community and made me a social outcast.

    Please advise.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    Quote Quoting Shyl
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    She has been spreading these rumors relentlessly to the point that I am unable to be any part of my local neighborhood children's groups
    What is your relationship to this woman? What is your relationship to the child? Why does anybody believe her?
    Quote Quoting Shyl
    I also noticed that I was being thrown out of parenting groups on social media and suspected she was spreading rumors but had no idea what they were.
    In court, suspicions mean nothing. If you want to take legal action against her you need evidence.
    Quote Quoting Shyl
    A neighbor "did me a favor today" and told me that she was telling people that she was "afraid of me" and that I had threatened to kidnap and hurt her minor child.
    Is she saying that you attempted a kidnapping, or is she saying that you merely threatened her?
    Quote Quoting Shyl
    People are avoiding me without even hearing my side of the story and I want to put a stop to this.
    What happened when you told them your side of the story?

    You can talk to your husband about hiring a lawyer to sue the woman, then search for a lawyer who is willing to take the case on a contingency basis (as it will otherwise cost $thousands to litigate the case). The lawyer will review the available facts and evidence, and advise you as to whether you have a viable case of defamation, or a reasonable chance of recovering or collecting damages if you win.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
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    What is your relationship to this woman? What is your relationship to the child? Why does anybody believe her?

    In court, suspicions mean nothing. If you want to take legal action against her you need evidence.

    Is she saying that you attempted a kidnapping, or is she saying that you merely threatened her?

    What happened when you told them your side of the story?

    You can talk to your husband about hiring a lawyer to sue the woman, then search for a lawyer who is willing to take the case on a contingency basis (as it will otherwise cost $thousands to litigate the case). The lawyer will review the available facts and evidence, and advise you as to whether you have a viable case of defamation, or a reasonable chance of recovering or collecting damages if you win.
    Hi, there is no relationship / friendship between me and her at all. We used to be friends until 2012 when we had an argument and I blocked her on social media. Ever since, she has been spreading malicious rumors against me in an attempt to get me thrown out many parenting groups - both in real life and on Facebook. I last had an FB conversation with her in 2013 and NOT A THING since although I suspect she has been stalking me on FB.

    She is very very rich and comes across as "very generous" - she pays for expensive camps and classes for all of the children in the groups she's involved with and no one wants to cross her for fear of losing access to these resources. They avoid me because they are scared that they will be booted from her "club" if she finds out they've been friendly with me. Even if no one anyone believes her lies, they still avoid me because they just don't want to get involved in this fight and lose access to her free resources for themselves and their children.


    I am not sure if she's said I ATTEMPTED an actual kidnapping - information is not very clear but she has said that I threatened to kidnap her child and hurt / kill the kid, and that I am *not* to be trusted with children or around children, which led me to being thrown out from several parenting groups in the area and on social media.

    Please help me. Is there a non-legal route I could go that would be more effective to stop this ongoing and vicious smear campaign and extreme harassment, if I cannot find a lawyer to take this pro-bono ? My neighbors avoid me and I am an outcast in my neck of the woods, solely because of this woman. What documentation should I start collecting (that would legally be considered "evidence" in a court of law), and what would help me stop this vicious smear campaign and character assassination ?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    Quote Quoting Shyl
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    Hi, there is no relationship / friendship between me and her at all. We used to be friends until 2012 when we had an argument and I blocked her on social media. Ever since, she has been spreading malicious rumors against me in an attempt to get me thrown out many parenting groups - both in real life and on Facebook. I last had an FB conversation with her in 2013 and NOT A THING since although I suspect she has been stalking me on FB.

    I think she's mentally ill. She is believed because she is very very rich and comes across as "very generous" - she pays for expensive camps and classes for all of the children in the groups she's involved with and no one wants to cross her for fear of losing access to these resources. They avoid me because they are scared that they will be booted from her "club" if she finds out they've been friendly with me. I don't think anyone believes her lies, actually, they just don't want to get involved and lose access to her free resources for themselves and their children.

    She has told people that I threatened to kidnap her child and that she fears for the child's life and for her own life from me. I am not sure if she's said I ATTEMPTED an actual kidnapping - I think she knows that that would raise questions as to why I was not arrested and charged with a crime, so she has stopped herself from making that actual accusation, but has spread the rumor that I am *not* to be trusted with children or around children, which led me to being thrown out from several parenting groups in the area and on social media.

    Please help me. Is there a non-legal route I could go that would be more effective to stop this ongoing and vicious smear campaign and extreme harassment ? My neighbors avoid me and I am an outcast in my neck of the woods, solely because of this woman.
    Personally, I would be seriously considering move away. She sounds like the type of person who has to be in control of everybody, and if she cannot be in control of you, then she wants you ruined.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    People typically don't go all out in a smear campaign without having a reason for doing so (even if that reason exists only in their head).

    Have you or your husband made an off-the-cuff remark that could have been misinterpreted?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    People typically don't go all out in a smear campaign without having a reason for doing so (even if that reason exists only in their head).

    Have you or your husband made an off-the-cuff remark that could have been misinterpreted?
    I haven't talked to her since 2013. I had an argument with her and then blocked her on FB and on my phone. I have never ever said anything about her kid, so I am not sure what she could have misinterpreted. I strongly suspect she's a narcissist and as ilworking says she is a control freak, too. I refuse to kiss her bottom and say she's the greatest thing on Earth, and that led to the problem. She insists that kids can *only* be parented her way as her way of parenting is the only / best way, and anyone else who parents any differently is a "bad" parent. This was the argument that led to me blocking her and avoiding her for 4 years. But even this does not explain why she has turned so vicious and so nasty to the point she has gone around claiming I threatened to kidnap and harm her child.

    Her deep pockets and outward charm have been very effective in her ability to turn people against me. If she was truly as afraid as she claims to be, because I may have made any comment that made her afraid (I never have), then why didn't she go to the cops and file a complaint ? So she knows I am no threat to her or her minor child and this is just a nasty vicious attack to get me ostracized because she's a narcissist whose ego has been hurt by me calling her out on her judging other parents who raise their children differently. But she is successfully solely because people are - just plain - afraid of her.

    I would move but I have family here who are elderly and need my help. What are my legal options to stop this harassment and character assassination ? Please help.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    People typically don't go all out in a smear campaign without having a reason for doing so (even if that reason exists only in their head).

    Have you or your husband made an off-the-cuff remark that could have been misinterpreted?
    I have run across two people in my lifetime, out in the world, who went absolutely bonkers when even remotely questioned on their leadership/authority/perceived insult within a community.

    One women did it at the drop of a hat, to literally anybody, even her own family...and she didn't just leave it at smear campaigns, she would call every possible authority against the person, cops, animal control, cps, immigration, inspectors etc.

    One man did it as well, but he was more like the person the OP is describing...he never got the authorities involved.

    Imagine high school "mean girls" or bullies who never changed as adults. Unfortunately, they exist.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Accused of Attempts to Harm a Child

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    I have run across two people in my lifetime, out in the world, who went absolutely bonkers when even remotely questioned on their leadership/authority/perceived insult within a community.

    One women did it at the drop of a hat, to literally anybody, even her own family...and she didn't just leave it at smear campaigns, she would call every possible authority against the person, cops, animal control, cps, immigration, inspectors etc.

    One man did it as well, but he was more like the person the OP is describing...he never got the authorities involved.

    Imagine high school "mean girls" or bullies who never changed as adults. Unfortunately, they exist.
    Yes, I once had a person (stranger) flag down the police and try to get them to arrest me for fraud because I kept insisting I wasn't the person she was out drinking with the night before (I wasn't). A little different, but still a pretty OTT reaction.

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