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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    Default Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NH

    Is it always appropriate for the non-custodial parent to pay some amount of child support? Or, should they not have to if the custodial parent makes a lot more money than they do? Is the argument that both parents have the responsibility to financially support their children good enough? I don't know. I make a lot more than my ex and my initial gut reaction was to not ask for CS because of this. Now, I am by no means rich or anything (I make more, but I have a lot more expenses), and the CS would go a long way toward helping with expenses for the kids, but I get by fine without it. However, that is because I am very frugal and work hard to keep a budget, never spend money on myself and work a lot of hours.

    My ex is very irresponsible with money and while he doesn't make a lot to begin with, he also spends frivolously (eating out 4-5 times a week, Dunkin Donuts every day, taking the kids out every weekend). Everyone including my lawyer says that I should ask for CS because it is his responsibility and the money is for the kids not me. It's tough though, because I know that it will put him in an even tougher situation that he already is, but not asking for it also feels like enabling him to continue making bad choices and not being responsible which is part of the reason we aren't together anymore. I'm really torn. Any advice? Ask any questions if needed.

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    For the most part, state child support formulas take into consideration the relative income of the parties. The remainder are income-based. It's more than fair that a parent who has income be ordered to help support his children. You can review the New Hampshire child support formula here.

    Typically, any deviation from the state child support formula has to be approved by the court. For your state's rules, see New Hampshire Statutes, Sec. 458-C:5.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    Thank you for the response. As far as it seems, NH has mostly an income based formula (as changing the custodial parents income to zero in the calculator barely changed the result). We have mediation next month and I am just trying to figure out what the right thing is...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    835

    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    How significant of a difference are we talking about?

    And what kind of timesharing will there be?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    671

    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    A possible solution - if you don't need it, set it aside in a separate account for the future - to help with college expenses, getting set up when they're starting out, etc. Or for some extras that may be a stretch otherwise.

  6. #6
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    May 2017
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    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    Quote Quoting readytoleave
    View Post
    How significant of a difference are we talking about?

    And what kind of timesharing will there be?
    I make almost twice as much as he does, but again, I have twice the expenses. I have the children Sunday 1:30pm-Friday 5:30pm and he has them Friday 5:30pm-Sunday 1:30pm. When he decided to take them on Friday...he often asks for me to keep them Friday night and I drop them off Saturday morning.

    Thank you, and I am sorry you have to deal with that.

    It's not that I couldn't use it...I certainly could. I still live pay check to paycheck and the kids often beg to do extra activities that I can't afford right now. But that is a good idea also. Thank you.

    Quote Quoting adjusterjack
    View Post
    You have a lawyer and you have mediation?

    Implies some serious disagreements and perhaps some hostility.

    What's he trying to do to you that you don't like?
    It's kind of a long and complicated story...the quick answer is that when we divorced in 2013 I worked the night shift and would not have had anyone to watch the kids while I was at work so I initially agreed to give him residential custody during the week and I had the kids on my nights off (weekends). It stayed that way for about 3 years. Then his life became very unstable and I was able to secure an overnight nanny so we agreed the kids would come live with me during the week and with him on the weekends for a year while he got his life straightened out, and then we would re-evaluate the situation after that year. Well the year just ended and his life is still crazy and the kids are now thriving with the new schedule and new school ect so we no longer agree what is best for them. He wants them back living with him during the school week which also means daycare before and after school until 6:30 pm everyday, while with the current arrangement I sleep while they are in school and I can pick them up and spend all afternoon and evening with them until long after they go to bed instead of them having to go to daycare and he gets every weekend. I also no longer have weekends off so if he had residential I would have mid-week days with them and he lives over an hour away. That would be pretty tough on a first and second grader going back and forth to school, not to mention the loss of time with me and their siblings. Long story short is he is taking me back to court to try and get them to give him back residential custody. We have to go to mediation first per our original agreement.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    When you switched to you having them during the week did you formalize that with the courts, or was it just an informal agreement?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    Quote Quoting Heartsick123
    View Post
    Thank you for the response. As far as it seems, NH has mostly an income based formula (as changing the custodial parents income to zero in the calculator barely changed the result). We have mediation next month and I am just trying to figure out what the right thing is...
    You have a lawyer and you have mediation?

    Implies some serious disagreements and perhaps some hostility.

    What's he trying to do to you that you don't like?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    Quote Quoting adjusterjack
    View Post
    You have a lawyer and you have mediation?

    Implies some serious disagreements and perhaps some hostility.

    What's he trying to do to you that you don't like?
    Mediation is very often mandatory before anything else can be done.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Is an Award of Child Support Always Appropriate

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Mediation is very often mandatory before anything else can be done.
    Pretty much everybody in my state gets sent to mediation unless they are entering stipulated agreements. The purpose of mediation is to try to get them to a stipulated agreement so that the judge doesn't have to decide the nitty, gritty, details.

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