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  1. #1
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    Aug 2017
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    Default How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana

    My husband and I have a two-year-old daughter, and our final divorce hearing has been scheduled for the 28th. I am the only one with a lawyer, and we have been working to make financial and custodial agreements mostly on our own. Currently we have tentatively agreed to follow Indiana's parenting time guidelines, but he is not taking his weekday time at all (he does not seem interested) and has not scheduled any extended parenting time.

    It has come to my attention that he is applying for jobs in Phoenix, AZ, where the woman he's leaving me for lives. He expects that he will maintain joint legal and physical custody despite the move, but I really don't think that's in my daughter's best interest; she is too little to understand extended time without her daddy and far too little to travel that far unaccompanied. I can't believe five-year-olds are allowed to; that seems like it would be terrifying for a child that age. I do not have the financial wherewithal to finance any part of cross-country travel arrangements; I was a stay at home mom and will have a very difficult time indeed if I don't find a job soon (which is a separate issue).

    What chance would I have of getting sole legal and physical custody of my daughter, or of preventing his out of state move? My husband was emotionally abusive, but not to her, and doesn't have drug or alcohol problems. However, he has a good job here and no real reason why Arizona is the only place he could be.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    273

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    He is not being unreasonable. You say your joint daughter should not have extended absences from her father yet you want to completely terminate the relationship with you receiving sole custody and decision making.

    You cannot keep him from moving; you can prevent him from taking her with him at least until the court decides custody arrangements. He should be responsible for travel expenses since he is creating the distance.

    Since this is not new news, you should have gotten a job long ago since you now assert he was abusive. This indicates that the relationship was fated to end. The only financial arrangements are child support and the division of assets and debts. You certainly are not expecting him to continue to support you.

    Depending on the specific travel locations and airline. a five year old may be able to fly unaccompanied.

    It is not what you think, it is what the judge thinks. You contradict yourself in your post; you need to let your attorney do the talking for you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    3,212

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    He wants to move to Arizona because that is where the woman he has a relationship with lives. Please do not try and punish him for leaving you by using your child as a weapon. It will back fire and you will be hurt the most

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    Quote Quoting JenniferMom
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana

    My husband and I have a two-year-old daughter, and our final divorce hearing has been scheduled for the 28th. I am the only one with a lawyer, and we have been working to make financial and custodial agreements mostly on our own. Currently we have tentatively agreed to follow Indiana's parenting time guidelines, but he is not taking his weekday time at all (he does not seem interested) and has not scheduled any extended parenting time.

    It has come to my attention that he is applying for jobs in Phoenix, AZ, where the woman he's leaving me for lives. He expects that he will maintain joint legal and physical custody despite the move, but I really don't think that's in my daughter's best interest; she is too little to understand extended time without her daddy and far too little to travel that far unaccompanied. I can't believe five-year-olds are allowed to; that seems like it would be terrifying for a child that age. I do not have the financial wherewithal to finance any part of cross-country travel arrangements; I was a stay at home mom and will have a very difficult time indeed if I don't find a job soon (which is a separate issue).

    What chance would I have of getting sole legal and physical custody of my daughter, or of preventing his out of state move? My husband was emotionally abusive, but not to her, and doesn't have drug or alcohol problems. However, he has a good job here and no real reason why Arizona is the only place he could be.
    The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines has a section for how visitation should go when there is a major distance between the parents. Even if you did not agree to follow the guidelines a judge would order you to do so.

    If you use skyp or some other method of them having virtual visitation that should help your daughter maintain familiarity with her father between visits.

    Insist that he be responsible for all transportation. Make sure that gets into the orders.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
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    2

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    From a calmer perspective, I am not going to try to curtail visitation, as long as he pays travel expenses. I am concerned that this will make it very easy for him to disappear from her life, but that's a different issue. However, I do still wish to have sole legal custody in the event he will be so far away. If he cannot attend parent teacher conferences or visit her school or meet her sports coaches or attend church with her, then I do not think it's unreasonable to expect to make those decisions myself.

    OkisnotOk, please don't be judgmental about my job search: my husband was never violent and I had no intentions of ending the relationship until he told me he was leaving me for someone else. And what is clearly controlling and emotionally abusive in retrospect isn't necessarily obvious when you're in the middle of it.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
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    172

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    It is unlikely you will be able to get sole custody. Even if he is moving away. You will be able to make day to day decisions as the residential parent. Shared custody traditionally only deals with major decisions.

  7. #7
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    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    Quote Quoting JenniferMom
    View Post
    From a calmer perspective, I am not going to try to curtail visitation, as long as he pays travel expenses. I am concerned that this will make it very easy for him to disappear from her life, but that's a different issue. However, I do still wish to have sole legal custody in the event he will be so far away. If he cannot attend parent teacher conferences or visit her school or meet her sports coaches or attend church with her, then I do not think it's unreasonable to expect to make those decisions myself.

    OkisnotOk, please don't be judgmental about my job search: my husband was never violent and I had no intentions of ending the relationship until he told me he was leaving me for someone else. And what is clearly controlling and emotionally abusive in retrospect isn't necessarily obvious when you're in the middle of it.
    I also agree that you are going to be dealing with joint legal custody. Its pretty rare for an Indiana judge to grant sole legal custody unless there are seriously issues with one of the parties or unless both parties agree to that. Its unlikely dad would agree.

    As already explained, you will be able to make day to day and routine decisions on your own. If she is already attending a church with you then there are no religious decisions to be made. As long as she goes to the public school in your community there will be no educational decisions to be made. Routine medical decisions do not require joint decisions and emergency medical decisions do not require joint decisions. You will need to keep dad informed of her medical issues.

    All in all you seem to be over worrying the issue. If dad decides to go crazy and interfere with her getting medical attention (rare, but it happens), then you might have to go another route, but the judge is unlikely to let you start out that way.

  8. #8
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    Quote Quoting JenniferMom
    View Post
    From a calmer perspective, I am not going to try to curtail visitation, as long as he pays travel expenses. I am concerned that this will make it very easy for him to disappear from her life, but that's a different issue. However, I do still wish to have sole legal custody in the event he will be so far away. If he cannot attend parent teacher conferences or visit her school or meet her sports coaches or attend church with her, then I do not think it's unreasonable to expect to make those decisions myself.

    OkisnotOk, please don't be judgmental about my job search: my husband was never violent and I had no intentions of ending the relationship until he told me he was leaving me for someone else. And what is clearly controlling and emotionally abusive in retrospect isn't necessarily obvious when you're in the middle of it.
    Unfortunately the reality is that a) your daughter is no longer a priority and there's a strong likelihood that contact will become less and less, and b) the new relationship is likely to also fail and when it does - since he seems to have a habit of running away when faced with difficulties - he'll shack up with the next one in no time at all. Your daughter will need you to teach her coping skills from now until ... well, probably forever.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    2,289

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    Quote Quoting JenniferMom
    View Post
    From a calmer perspective, I am not going to try to curtail visitation, as long as he pays travel expenses. I am concerned that this will make it very easy for him to disappear from her life, but that's a different issue. However, I do still wish to have sole legal custody in the event he will be so far away. If he cannot attend parent teacher conferences or visit her school or meet her sports coaches or attend church with her, then I do not think it's unreasonable to expect to make those decisions myself.

    OkisnotOk, please don't be judgmental about my job search: my husband was never violent and I had no intentions of ending the relationship until he told me he was leaving me for someone else. And what is clearly controlling and emotionally abusive in retrospect isn't necessarily obvious when you're in the middle of it.
    Why does he have to be close to her to make decisions? As long as he knows what's going on he can make decisions too.

    If he disappears from her life, then he does. There's nothing you can do about that.

    The emotional abuse you really can't use because there's no evidence of it. From what you state he has been a good father. So that's what the judge will take into account.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    27

    Default Re: How Will it Affect Custody if a Parent Moves Out of State During a Divorce Case

    What does your attorney say when you ask her what your chances are of getting sole custody?

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