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    Default Changing A Child's Last Name to a Stepparent's When the Father Objects

    I recently got married. My son has my maiden name. His father barely pays child support. He has already been arrested and had his license suspended due to child support payments. I want to have my sons last name changed to my current. Now I know my ex was very controlling and abusive We were never married. I am the custodial parent. Is there any way for me to have my sons last name changed to my husband since we are the primary caregivers for my son?

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    Default Re: Changing Last Name

    I'm from New Jersey

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    Default Re: Changing Last Name


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    Default Re: Changing Last Name

    Quote Quoting Lissychrissy09
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    I'm from New Jersey
    Its not going to happen unless the father agrees.

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    Default Re: Changing Last Name

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Its not going to happen unless the father agrees.
    Not true. Specially since the child has Mom's maiden name and not Dad's name to begin with.

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    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    Not true. Specially since the child has Mom's maiden name and not Dad's name to begin with.
    Dad still has to agree to a name change, and I don't think dad is going to agree to changing it to the new stepdad's name. Now, if some day dad's parental rights could be involuntarily terminated so that stepdad could adopt, then it would happen.

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    Default Re: Changing Last Name

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Dad still has to agree to a name change, and I don't think dad is going to agree to changing it to the new stepdad's name. Now, if some day dad's parental rights could be involuntarily terminated so that stepdad could adopt, then it would happen.

    It can be changed without his consent. Is it likely? I'm not offering odds on that one. But can it? Yes, yes it can. Dude you know this.

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    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    It can be changed without his consent. Is it likely? I'm not offering odds on that one. But can it? Yes, yes it can. Dude you know this.
    Since when did I become a dude?

    And since when have we told people they can do it when the odds are so incredibly low?

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    Default Re: Changing Last Name

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Dad still has to agree to a name change, and I don't think dad is going to agree to changing it to the new stepdad's name. Now, if some day dad's parental rights could be involuntarily terminated so that stepdad could adopt, then it would happen.
    I disagree that Dad’s consent is necessary. Nothing in the statute or case law conditions a name change on the consent of both parents. Indeed, in NJ in cases in which the parents disagree, the current state of the case law is that minor name changes are made in the best interests of the child and the decision should be gender neutral. In short, the courts do sometimes grant name changes over the objection of the other parent. Moreover, the NJ Supreme Court stated that in such contests there is a strong presumption in favoring the name chosen by the custodial parent. In particular, the court stated:

    Courts have experienced difficulty in applying those criteria due to the “speculative quality of the inquiry into the effect that the chosen surname would have on the future welfare and happiness of the child.” Id. at 142, 657 A.2d 856.

    To lessen that difficulty and to increase the predictability of such analyses, “we adopt[ed] a strong presumption in favor of the surname chosen by the [primary caretaker].” Id. at 144, 657 A.2d 856. Underlying that presumption is “a basic principle of family law—that the parent having physical custody of the child is generally accorded broad responsibility in making daily child-rearing decisions.” Id. at 142, 657 A.2d 856. We found implicit in that broad responsibility the supposition that the primary caretaker “act[s] in the best interests of the child in discharging that obligation ... [,]” and that the naming or changing of the name of a child is like other decisions left to the primary caretaker. Ibid. We concluded that the secondary caretaker “bears the burden of demonstrating by a preponderance of the evidence that despite the presumption favoring the [primary caretaker]'s choice of name, the chosen surname is not in the best interests of the child.” Id. at 145, 657 A.2d 856.

    Ronan v. Adely, 182 N.J. 103, 108–09, 861 A.2d 822, 825 (2004).

    In a more recent case, the Appellate Division rejected this presumption in cases where the parents had been married at the time of birth or had been in a long-term committed relationship at birth and the parents jointly chose the name of the child. “The presumption applies less logically or fairly in cases where the parents entered into a committed relationship of significant duration, where the children were originally named by a marital partnership—rather than one parent—undoubtedly with the intent that the designation remain permanent.” Emma v. Evans, 424 N.J. Super. 36, 45, 35 A.3d 684, 689 (App. Div. 2012), aff'd as modified, 215 N.J. 197, 71 A.3d 862 (2013). The Court also placed great weight on the fact that the parents had joint legal custody. “Sixth, but of perhaps greater weight than the other reasons for our decision, the parties stipulated at the time they divorced that they would exercise joint legal custody. The significance of this agreement cannot be overstated in considering the issues presented by this appeal; in fact, it was greatly under-appreciated in the trial court.” Id. This case represents a retreat, to some extent, of that presumption at least where the parents had been married or in a committed relationships or where there is joint legal custody. But that presumption is not gone entirely.

    In short, as things stand today, if the OP was not married or in a committed relationship with the father at the time of birth and the parents do not have joint legal custody, it appears that the courts would apply a presumption that the name chosen by the custodial parent is in the best interests of the child. That is merely a presumption (though apparently a strong one) so the other parent could overcome that by showing the name change is nevertheless not in the best interests of the child.

    The bottom line is that a name change is possible in the face of the father’s objection here, and might even be likely if the presumption is applied. Not knowing the details of the OP's relationship with the father and particularly their status at the time the child was born, and not knowing the current state of things, I cannot say just how likely it is. But it is at least likely enough that the OP ought to meet with a family law attorney to review all the facts and see how it might go. If the presumption can be applied, she might stand a pretty good chance.

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    Default Re: Changing Last Name

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Since when did I become a dude?
    Oh, L. Never change.


    And since when have we told people they can do it when the odds are so incredibly low?
    You made a definitive statement.

    Dad still has to agree to a name change
    Okay, two.

    Its not going to happen unless the father agrees.
    These are your words, Ma'am. Your words. Now if would point to where anything I wrote was legally incorrect, maybe I can learn from you?

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