1. It shouldn't make a difference either way with respect to sex of each spouse.
2. Again, details matter. You said that you have been separated from your spouse for 6 years. Property that is accumulated after the couple has separated and has been living apart with no hope of the marriage reviving is generally separate property. The Washington Supreme Court explained the general rules used in Washington as follows:
To begin our analysis we review and reaffirm certain applicable presumptions. One such presumption is that in community property jurisdictions, assets acquired during marriage are community property. Estate of Madsen v. Commissioner of Internal Rev., 97 Wash.2d 792, 796, 650 P.2d 196 (1982); Harry M. Cross, The Community Property Law in Washington (Revised 1985), 61 Wash.L.Rev. 13, 28 (1986). This presumption is rebuttable by establishing that the acquisition fits within a separate property provision. Cross, 61 Wash.L.Rev. at 29.
Separate property is defined as property acquired before marriage or acquired after marriage by gift, bequest, devise or descent. RCW 26.16.010, .020; In re Marriage of Brown, 100 Wash.2d 729, 737, 675 P.2d 1207 (1984). Separate property also includes the earnings and accumulations of a husband or a wife while living separate and apart. “When a husband and wife are living separate and apart, their respective earnings and accumulations shall be the separate property of each.” RCW 26.16.140; Aetna Life Ins. Co. v. Bunt, 110 Wash.2d 368, 372, 754 P.2d 993 (1988).
The “living separate and apart” statute contemplates a permanent separation, a “defunct” marriage. Bunt, 110 Wash.2d at 372, 754 P.2d 993; Cross, 61 Wash.L.Rev. at 34. A marriage is considered “defunct” when both parties to the marriage no longer have the will to continue the marital relationship. Cross, 61 Wash.L.Rev. at 34. In other words, when the deserted spouse accepts the futility of hope for restoration of a normal marital relationship, or just acquiesces in the separation, the marriage is considered “defunct” so that the “living separate and apart” statute applies. Cross, 61 Wash.L.Rev. at 35....
Community property is all other property acquired by either spouse after marriage that is not separate property.
In re Marriage of Short, 125 Wash. 2d 865, 870–71, 890 P.2d 12, 14–15 (1995). The court did not discuss there how property held in other states factors into it since that was not an issue in that case. The general scheme of things in Washington in a divorce is that community property is generally split 50-50 and each spouse keeps his/her separate property. However, the court does have the power to change that split to something else if the court finds it is more equitable to do so.
So, earnings you had post separation would not be community property in Washington, and assets you acquired post separation with separate funds would not be community property either. Thus, as a starting point, that would be your sole property, though as I said the court may consider a different outcome based on certain factors if the court deems it more equitable. To the extent you used community property funds to acquire the asset, though, it may still retain its character as community property, even if the new asset was acquired post separation.
With respect to real property, the general rule is that the law of the state where the property is located determines how it is characterized. For other property the characterization is generally based on the law of the state where the couple was domiciled at the time the property was acquired. As you can see from these general rules, the characterization of the property as either community property or non community property does not depend on where the spouses are living at the time the divorce itself is filed. That is why simply moving in contemplation of a divorce might not make much difference in the outcome. Which state’s law governs the divorce proceeding will matter, of course, but there is no guarantee that you would necessarily get a better outcome litigating the case in a non community property state. It will still have to take into account what is community property.
This is all still pretty general. It can get complicated in some cases figuring out which state’s law should apply to characterize the asset and then how to account for that in the divorce laws of the state in which the divorce is being litigated.