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  1. #1
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    Jul 2017
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    Default Does it Violate a Protective Order for a Third Party to Contact You About the Order

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: California

    My ex husbands wife emailed me asking if my son could call her, stating she wants him to know "he's missed and hasn't been forgotten by that part of the family. She knows he can't talk to his dad, but it is sad he is so isolated".

    Is this a violation 3rd party contact, I'm not sure how or if I should respond at all. The order is for myself and my son, against my ex husband.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Does it Violate a Protective Order for a Third Party to Contact You About the Ord

    If your ex- initiated the contact, then its likely prohibited by your order -- contact through third parties is normally covered. If he did not know about the contact, then he didn't initiate the contact -- but most people will at a minimum be suspicious about a claim that a spouse made contact without any request by or knowledge on the part of the other, restrained spouse. If you choose, you can report the incident to the police or initiate show cause proceedings, and see what happens.

  3. #3
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    Mar 2016
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    Default Re: Does it Violate a Protective Order for a Third Party to Contact You About the Ord

    What does your order say?

    I had a protection order against my ex and it said no third party contact. His sister texted me saying that he told her to tell me he missed me and he wanted to talk to me. I told the detective investigating at the time of that case - and nothing happened to my ex.

    Don't respond to her. Block her on social media, email, etc. She doesn't need to be contacting you anyway.

  4. #4
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Does it Violate a Protective Order for a Third Party to Contact You About the Ord

    Quote Quoting qwaspolk69
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    What does your order say?

    I had a protection order against my ex and it said no third party contact. His sister texted me saying that he told her to tell me he missed me and he wanted to talk to me. I told the detective investigating at the time of that case - and nothing happened to my ex.

    Don't respond to her. Block her on social media, email, etc. She doesn't need to be contacting you anyway.
    I had once taken a restraining order out against a minor young man who was harassing my minor daughter. Some buddies of his did contact her and harass her about the restraining order. When the young man's lawyer tried to argue that the young man was not in control of his friends, the judge told him that he had better explain to his friends that if they didn't stop he would be in trouble. It went no further than that but it did scare the young man sufficiently to make sure that his friends stopped as well.

  5. #5
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    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Does it Violate a Protective Order for a Third Party to Contact You About the Ord

    Quote Quoting ZiiKo
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    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: California

    My ex husbands wife emailed me asking if my son could call her, stating she wants him to know "he's missed and hasn't been forgotten by that part of the family. She knows he can't talk to his dad, but it is sad he is so isolated".

    Is this a violation 3rd party contact, I'm not sure how or if I should respond at all. The order is for myself and my son, against my ex husband.
    Prohibitions against third party contact are boilerplate into the language of such orders in CA. If the ex's wife is calling you on the ex's behalf, he is violating the order. If she is taking this up on her own initiative, he is NOT violating the order. However, you are under NO obligation to allow your son to call the ex's wife, and I would suspect that it is not a good idea at this time. You can certainly relay a personal message of love and support that comes solely from the wife to your son, but anything that comes from the ex (the restrained party) would be a violation of the order.
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

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    Love mercy,
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Does it Violate a Protective Order for a Third Party to Contact You About the Ord

    Quote Quoting qwaspolk69
    View Post
    What does your order say?

    I had a protection order against my ex and it said no third party contact. His sister texted me saying that he told her to tell me he missed me and he wanted to talk to me. I told the detective investigating at the time of that case - and nothing happened to my ex.

    Don't respond to her. Block her on social media, email, etc. She doesn't need to be contacting you anyway.
    It was clear in your situation the restrained party initiated the contact. That does make it a violation. While no adverse action was taken in your situstion, there are many times where the activity is punished severely. It is a court's discretion.

    In the case at hand it isn't clear the contact was initiated by the retrained party. A court may or may not take action. The court might simply clarify the breadth of the order or it may see it as not a violation at all. Again, it is the court's choice.

    The third party contact rule is not meant to prevent any contact by associated person but contact on behalf of or especially at the request of the restrained party. In the case at hand it may have been an honest attempt to console the child and let them know there is concern he is being cut off from a part of his family that cares for him. Step parents do develope love and affection for their step children and due to situations are often cut off from their step children. It may have been an innocent or ignorant attempt to reach out to the child or it may have been an underhanded attempt by the father to make contact. Only the courts can answer how they will view the situation.

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