Can Parents Give Consent for Statutory Rape

[free9man]

Legally speaking, the man could get in trouble if Children Services pursue the matter as there is already an admission of guilt on the table. I'm honestly surprised they aren't doing anything as they are mandated reporters and are aware of a crime that has occurred and will likely occur again.

Legally speaking, you could get in trouble and/or lose your child(ren) if Child Services pursues the matter and finds you failed to properly supervise/parent your child such that she was the victim of a sex crime.

It is in everyone's best interest if they either a. take the next few months off until she's legal or b. they are chaperoned at all times when together to prevent any further shenanigans that might get everyone, except your daughter, into legal trouble.

Yes, this could be true love for them. It happens at those ages. But their lives will be incredibly difficult if he winds up on the sex offender registry or she winds up in foster care or they wind up with an unplanned child.

[chumly222]

Also, I NEVER said I was ok with them having sex!!!! I forbid it but it happened. NOT IN MY HOME!!!! It was at his house when HIS parents were to be paying attention!!! I am not a able to be in two places at once. For you to suggest that I somehow told her to go ahead and have sex is an insult to my intelligence. I never said I didn't chaperone her dates either but I'm not chaperoning her dates when his parents were in sapposed to be watching!!! I am really starting to feel better about myself after reading some of the idiotic comments on this thread. My problem might not be as bad as the ones a few share on here. Living life stereotyping people like you do makes you miserable. Not ALL 19 year old young men are walking hormones looking to get a piece of *ss every chance they get. I remember when I was dating my wife (then my girlfriend). I was 18, her 15. We actually sat in my living room and watched a movie without even sneaking one kiss. Can you believe it!!!!? I sneaked into the movie theater that my daughter and her bf were at one time just to see what they were up to. Guess what? He was a perfect gentleman the whole time!!!! He is a good young man and I trust him. No I don't like the fact that they had sex but at least it wasn't with some dipsh*t that can't even put a sentence together without using the F bomb!!! If a kid wants to have sex, they are going to find a way. End of story. I know people that did it in school!!!! Don't worry though. We made a collective decision this afternoon that they are not to see each other until February, when she turns 16. Thanks for you help. Even if some of the advice was worthless.

[free9man]

Also, I NEVER said I was ok with them having sex!!!!

I'm not sure if this is in response to my post but if it is, you need to go back and re-read it. I never said you were okay with happening. If you continued to allow them to see each other without proper monitoring, that could be viewed as tacit approval.

I forbid it but it happened. NOT IN MY HOME!!!! It was at his house when HIS parents were to be paying attention!!! I am not a able to be in two places at once. For you to suggest that I somehow told her to go ahead and have sex is an insult to my intelligence.

Never said you said that. If you know his parents are not capable of properly monitoring their behavior, you don't let her go over there. Period. End of Story.

I never said I didn't chaperone her dates either but I'm not chaperoning her dates when his parents were in sapposed to be watching!!!

See above.

Don't worry though. We made a collective decision this afternoon that they are not to see each other until February, when she turns 16.

Glad to hear it. There is a phrase out there that I suggest you heed, "Trust but verify".

[chumly222]

To be clear........I forbid her to have sex with ANY boy. Not just her current boyfriend!!!!

I'm not sure if this is in response to my post but if it is, you need to go back and re-read it. I never said you were okay with happening. If you continued to allow them to see each other without proper monitoring, that could be viewed as tacit approval.



Never said you said that. If you know his parents are not capable of properly monitoring their behavior, you don't let her go over there. Period. End of Story.



See above.



Glad to hear it. There is a phrase out there that I suggest you heed, "Trust but verify".

Those comments were not directed at you. You were plenty of help. Thank you

[Mercy&Grace]

If this young mn really loved and cared for your daughter, he would not risk going to jail and being a sex offender for the rest of his life. This young mn is only after one thing. She he gets tired of your daughter, he will move on if he is not in jail before then. Hopefully your daughter won't get pregnant. This young a is an adult according to the laws in your state. Your daughter is a child under the laws in your state. There is nothing you or anyone cnn do to change that.

[hr for me]

I'm still laughing at "The boy in question now is a hardworking young man with family values that we share" -- doesn't seem like he or his family share the same values as your family if his family is allowing them to have sex at their home knowing she is under-aged while the parents are either there or not. It is very possible his parents had no clue that she was even coming over if he is 19 -- don't know many parents who aren't willing to leave the 19 yr old home alone.... I do wonder if you've ever talked with his parents directly about their responsibilities that you have assigned them chaperoning the relationship? Or was it just an assumption? Do they know about the sexual relationship issue?

I am glad you have come to a good decision for all involved and I do think it is the right one. If they are truly both in love and want to have a relationship going forward, that's great. But most college guys I know haven't stuck with the girlfriend who is still in High School-- especially 3+ years behind especially if they don't live at home but in a dorm/apartment. Usually they want to be participating in activities at school rather than coming home often to see a girlfriend from home. And honestly I'd be concerned about allowing her even after 16 visiting him at a dorm/apartment....just not smart!

And yes, I have three kids 22,22 and 16 and have gone through the teenage years in this decade, not in the '80s when I was a teen.

[chumly222]

I'm still laughing at "The boy in question now is a hardworking young man with family values that we share" -- doesn't seem like he or his family share the same values as your family if his family is allowing them to have sex at their home knowing she is under-aged while the parents are either there or not. It is very possible his parents had no clue that she was even coming over if he is 19 -- don't know many parents who aren't willing to leave the 19 yr old home alone.... I do wonder if you've ever talked with his parents directly about their responsibilities that you have assigned them chaperoning the relationship? Or was it just an assumption? Do they know about the sexual relationship issue?

I am glad you have come to a good decision for all involved and I do think it is the right one. If they are truly both in love and want to have a relationship going forward, that's great. But most college guys I know haven't stuck with the girlfriend who is still in High School-- especially 3+ years behind especially if they don't live at home but in a dorm/apartment. Usually they want to be participating in activities at school rather than coming home often to see a girlfriend from home. And honestly I'd be concerned about allowing her even after 16 visiting him at a dorm/apartment....just not smart!

And yes, I have three kids 22,22 and 16 and have gone through the teenage years in this decade, not in the '80s when I was a teen.

First off, Let me assure you, I did not title this thread "can parents give consent to statutory rape". Some smartass changed it. We have talked to his parents. They were NOT aware that they had sex in their home either. Of course they knew she was coming. They invited her for dinner. As far as him going to college. He is not leaving to go live in a dorm. The school he is attending is in his home town and will be living at home while attending. He is not interesting in "the college experience". He wants his education so he can get the apprenticeship he is applying for. I don't know why people assume that ALL kids are raised like animals and have no life goals. Both of these kids were raised in stable households and screwed up by having sex. He is NOT as sexual predator. Friggin people are acting like I let a 40 year old man date my daughter. Geesh!!!!

If this young mn really loved and cared for your daughter, he would not risk going to jail and being a sex offender for the rest of his life. This young mn is only after one thing. She he gets tired of your daughter, he will move on if he is not in jail before then. Hopefully your daughter won't get pregnant. This young a is an adult according to the laws in your state. Your daughter is a child under the laws in your state. There is nothing you or anyone cnn do to change that.

Yup, another one stereotyping people. Why is it so hard to believe that two people can fall in love at a young age? It happened with my wife and I. We have been happily married for 24 years and we met under the same circumstances as my daughter and her boyfriend. I sense that some of you may have been burned at a young age and are still bitter.

[budwad]

Seriously? I've seen you throw your two cents in on posts.

I don't think I have ever been presumptuous enough to assume that I knew better how to raise someone else's child.

[qwaspolk69]

You know what? I met my wife when I was 18, she was 15. We have been married for 24 years now. Happily I might add!!! For you people to get on here and bash me and my family is a bunch or BS!!! You don't know anything about us other than we are having a legal issue!!! Good grief.......I knew I should have left her date that boy that rode his skateboard to our house to see her with his pants down over his ass, his hat on sideways and greeted me with.........."Sup"?.........The boy in question now is a hardworking young man with family values that we share. He is off to college this fall to get a degree in his field of study. sick of people thinking they are some sort of therapist on there keyboard!!!

No wonder you let your daughter date an adult male...wonder what the age of consent was at that time.

If you don't want to get opinions on a public information forum, probably shouldn't post then. It's the Internet. You would get these responses anywhere you post.

You've been told your options legally.

No one is saying it's "better" if she was dating some immature teenage boy. 15 year olds shouldn't be having sex - period. I would think you would be more worried about her getting pregnant at FIFTEEN or catching a STI. I would be. You don't know this man. Just because he shows you one side doesn't mean anything. I've seen lots of guys who put up a front for the parents among my friends. My ex husband put up a front for people.

If my 15 year old daughter told me she was having sex with ANYONE I would do what I could to stop that asap. Because I'm not about to be raising another baby because she was irresponsible.

So what if your relationship with your wife worked out. That doesn't mean it will with your daughter. If anyone has some antiquated beliefs it's you. I can't believe you think people are saying she should be dating some immature teenage boy. No - you're simply being told legally it's statutory rape. He could be arrested and he could be registered as a sex offender. Do you want THAT for this man you love so much like a son?

Also, I NEVER said I was ok with them having sex!!!! I forbid it but it happened. NOT IN MY HOME!!!! It was at his house when HIS parents were to be paying attention!!! I am not a able to be in two places at once. For you to suggest that I somehow told her to go ahead and have sex is an insult to my intelligence. I never said I didn't chaperone her dates either but I'm not chaperoning her dates when his parents were in sapposed to be watching!!! I am really starting to feel better about myself after reading some of the idiotic comments on this thread. My problem might not be as bad as the ones a few share on here. Living life stereotyping people like you do makes you miserable. Not ALL 19 year old young men are walking hormones looking to get a piece of *ss every chance they get. I remember when I was dating my wife (then my girlfriend). I was 18, her 15. We actually sat in my living room and watched a movie without even sneaking one kiss. Can you believe it!!!!? I sneaked into the movie theater that my daughter and her bf were at one time just to see what they were up to. Guess what? He was a perfect gentleman the whole time!!!! He is a good young man and I trust him. No I don't like the fact that they had sex but at least it wasn't with some dipsh*t that can't even put a sentence together without using the F bomb!!! If a kid wants to have sex, they are going to find a way. End of story. I know people that did it in school!!!! Don't worry though. We made a collective decision this afternoon that they are not to see each other until February, when she turns 16. Thanks for you help. Even if some of the advice was worthless.

I'm glad you feel better that your daughter is a victim of statutory rape.

Like you said you're not always around - so you don't know what goes on when you aren't around. Why do you keep bringing up this bullshit about "oh it's better than her dating some dipshit who can't put a sentence together." No it's not. A pregnant 15 year old is a pregnant 15 year old no matter who knocked her up. A 15 year old with a STI is the same as any other 15 year old with a STI.

Maybe his is god's gift to your daughter. Great. BUT if you care about him soooo much you wouldn't want him to be a registered sex offender RIGHT??? THAT is the point.

Yes teenagers have sex. But most of the time their parents aren't justifying it to strangers.

Take the advice for what it's worth. We don't have stake in this story.

First off, Let me assure you, I did not title this thread "can parents give consent to statutory rape". Some smartass changed it. We have talked to his parents. They were NOT aware that they had sex in their home either. Of course they knew she was coming. They invited her for dinner. As far as him going to college. He is not leaving to go live in a dorm. The school he is attending is in his home town and will be living at home while attending. He is not interesting in "the college experience". He wants his education so he can get the apprenticeship he is applying for. I don't know why people assume that ALL kids are raised like animals and have no life goals. Both of these kids were raised in stable households and screwed up by having sex. He is NOT as sexual predator. Friggin people are acting like I let a 40 year old man date my daughter. Geesh!!!!



Yup, another one stereotyping people. Why is it so hard to believe that two people can fall in love at a young age? It happened with my wife and I. We have been happily married for 24 years and we met under the same circumstances as my daughter and her boyfriend. I sense that some of you may have been burned at a young age and are still bitter.

The admin likely changed it to reflect what you posted - not to be a smartass. Ultimately that's what you're asking is can you give consent for statutory rape.

You know what you keep bitching about people assuming things about you but you're doing the same damn thing.

You let a legal adult date your daughter. It doesn't matter if he's 19 or 39. Legally that doesn't matter. That's what you don't seem to get. Good for you that you and your wife fell in love when she was a minor. It doesn't happen all the time and usually that shit doesn't last.

I sense that you think it's okay for adults to have sex with minors and that's a disturbing thing. Do whatever the hell you want - no one on here can stop you nor do we honestly give a crap. You came here for advice and got it. YOu made a decision. Why are you still commenting?

[chumly222]

I don't think I have ever been presumptuous enough to assume that I knew better how to raise someone else's child.

That's because you're NOT!!!!!!!! You should never assume you know more than your brain is capable of understanding.

No wonder you let your daughter date an adult male...wonder what the age of consent was at that time.

If you don't want to get opinions on a public information forum, probably shouldn't post then. It's the Internet. You would get these responses anywhere you post.

You've been told your options legally.

No one is saying it's "better" if she was dating some immature teenage boy. 15 year olds shouldn't be having sex - period. I would think you would be more worried about her getting pregnant at FIFTEEN or catching a STI. I would be. You don't know this man. Just because he shows you one side doesn't mean anything. I've seen lots of guys who put up a front for the parents among my friends. My ex husband put up a front for people.

If my 15 year old daughter told me she was having sex with ANYONE I would do what I could to stop that asap. Because I'm not about to be raising another baby because she was irresponsible.

So what if your relationship with your wife worked out. That doesn't mean it will with your daughter. If anyone has some antiquated beliefs it's you. I can't believe you think people are saying she should be dating some immature teenage boy. No - you're simply being told legally it's statutory rape. He could be arrested and he could be registered as a sex offender. Do you want THAT for this man you love so much like a son?



I'm glad you feel better that your daughter is a victim of statutory rape.

Like you said you're not always around - so you don't know what goes on when you aren't around. Why do you keep bringing up this bullshit about "oh it's better than her dating some dipshit who can't put a sentence together." No it's not. A pregnant 15 year old is a pregnant 15 year old no matter who knocked her up. A 15 year old with a STI is the same as any other 15 year old with a STI.

Maybe his is god's gift to your daughter. Great. BUT if you care about him soooo much you wouldn't want him to be a registered sex offender RIGHT??? THAT is the point.

Yes teenagers have sex. But most of the time their parents aren't justifying it to strangers.

Take the advice for what it's worth. We don't have stake in this story.



The admin likely changed it to reflect what you posted - not to be a smartass. Ultimately that's what you're asking is can you give consent for statutory rape.

You know what you keep bitching about people assuming things about you but you're doing the same damn thing.

You let a legal adult date your daughter. It doesn't matter if he's 19 or 39. Legally that doesn't matter. That's what you don't seem to get. Good for you that you and your wife fell in love when she was a minor. It doesn't happen all the time and usually that shit doesn't last.

I sense that you think it's okay for adults to have sex with minors and that's a disturbing thing. Do whatever the hell you want - no one on here can stop you nor do we honestly give a crap. You came here for advice and got it. YOu made a decision. Why are you still commenting?

You know what. I had no clue a law like that existed!!! I still can't find any law on the books that prohibits an adult from dating a minor. I understand that the sex was illegal and I in no way "LETTING" my daughter have sex with an adult and "LETTING" her get raped!!!! My wife and I never let them out of our sight when they are at our house!!! We know what kids do when they are left alone!!! Do you think I'm that stupid? Also, he is only 42 days over the 4 year limit. Not like some 50 year old man is being allowed to date my daughter. Now that we understand the law, they have been told they can't see each other untill child protection services lets us know where this case stands. (that happens tonight). If it is allowed to continue, nothing changes in our house. They still will be watched like hawks and she will not be allowed to go to his house or anywhere else alone with him!!! We NEVER gave them the opportunity to have sex while we were on watch. I'd say that is some pretty good parenting IMO!!! I DO NOT THINK IT IS OK FOR ADULTS TO HAVE SEX WITH CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR SKULLS!!!!! Finally, if you think two young people can't fall in love and make it last for 20+ years.........I can give you a link to a forum with at least 8,000 members that will prove you wrong!!!! This blanket you people throw over young men and girls is so pathetic. Not all young boys are out to destroy a young girls life!!! About the only reason I have some trust in this boy is the fact that I have know him for 2 years. I know him pretty well. I have watched his actions when he thinks nobody is looking. I stalked him like a serial killer. If you want to accuse me of being a bad parent because I let my daughter date a boy 42 days too old, then go for it!!!! I know this boy, you don't!!!! My daughter and him both understand that they may have to hold off for a few months and are both mature enough to do so if necessary. You underestimate todays youths a little too much. Thank you all for your help and for your and your comments (even though I don't agree with many of them). I think we can handle it from here. Now go and open the food door on your children's cages so they can eat.