Can Parents Give Consent for Statutory Rape

[adjusterjack]

We are perfectly ok with her dating him.

Then the two of you are a pair of idiots.

Not crazy about the sex but how do you stop that? My question is: Is there any law on the books that prevent these two from continuing a "non-sexual" relationship or has that ship sailed since sex has already become an issue?

Ship has sailed.

Buy a package of condoms and sit them both down and show them how they work.

Teach your daughter how her life will be ruined when she gets pregnant and the boyfriend takes off.

Stay on this website and read all the sob stories from unmarried women with children whose boyfriends can't or won't pay child support.

Question: What's wrong with the adult that he has to screw a child? Do you really want him as a son-in-law?

You should be reporting this statutory rape to the authorities and I hope to hell that CPS does cause this moron belongs in jail.

I see you've posted other comments while I have been writing this but I'm done with my comments.

[Dogmatique]

Look. We don't throw a box of condoms at these two and tell them to have at it!!!! We try to keep our eyes on them as much as possible but it is not possible for us to watch them when she was with him at his house. We don't let them do things that we feel may put them in a situation that would tempt them into thinking they could get away with it. You forget that the boy has parents too? They both admitted to having sex at HIS house, not ours!!! (she is not allowed to go there anymore) They confessed at separate times too so there was no way they could collude to get their story straight!! I didn't come here to get bashed and told how to raise my daughter. You have no clue how nice of a boy he is. Most kids his age are out looking to get high, drunk or in some kind of trouble. Stop lecturing me on how to raise my daughter. I didn't ask for parenting advice. If you have some legal advice on this subject, I'd be happy to read it

His parents aren't here.

YOU are.

[chumly222]

Pennsylvania has at least 3 different charges they could bring against the boyfriend based on my reading of the statutes: § 3122.1. Statutory sexual assault, § 3125 Aggravated indecent assault, and § 3123 Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse. The problem in all three of these is that the boyfriend is four or more years older then your daughter. You can Google each of this statutes to read what they say and what the level of crime is and what the punishment might be.

Until and unless the State decided to charge him, there is not much he can do. He has already admitted to a crime. That doesn't mean that depending on the facts and circumstances, the charge may be downgraded or some sort of plea bargain offered that doesn't include any incarceration such as he is restrained from seeing your daughter until she is 18 years old. That would answer your question about a non-sexual relationship. That would not be possible. If he violated the order, he would be in contempt and likely go to jail.

You really don't have to justify the way you raise your daughter to those that just want to criticize. I understand what you are saying. You can't put them in cages and when you give you get back. I know plenty of parents of high school age children that put their daughters on birth control because they will do what they will do no matter how well you raise them.

Thank you for your response. I don't know what else to do. Somebody that hates my daughter is mad for some reason. I have msgs on my phone from a female that told me about her and this boy. (I already knew). These two are in love. It is NOT puppy love. I have been madly in love with my wife for 24 years so I know what love looks like. I don't understand how the state can step in and bully these kids into breaking up when there are so many other cases of actual rape going on un-noticed or uninvestigated (I have reported some people). I know the law is the law is the law but is it possible that the caseworker may approve of them dating or is she going to have to wait untill she is of consenting age? (16) That is what the caseworker told us the age of consent is.

His parents aren't here.

YOU are.

was my wife or I sappose to tag along at his parents house? I'm being made out to be some sort of dead beat here. ........there is only so much I can do as a parent short of locking her in her bedroom until she turns 18. Good grief!!!

[hr for me]

exactly how long is it until she turns 16? if she isn't mature enough to understand why she needs to wait, are you sure she is old enough to make such a mature decision? That's why the laws are on the books...

I've seen many people think they are "madly in love" who haven't made it past the first big hurdle. Why not see how this young gentleman handles the time in between now and when she turns 16. If he loves her, he WILL wait.

[chumly222]

Then the two of you are a pair of idiots.



Ship has sailed.

Buy a package of condoms and sit them both down and show them how they work.

Teach your daughter how her life will be ruined when she gets pregnant and the boyfriend takes off.

Stay on this website and read all the sob stories from unmarried women with children whose boyfriends can't or won't pay child support.

Question: What's wrong with the adult that he has to screw a child? Do you really want him as a son-in-law?

You should be reporting this statutory rape to the authorities and I hope to hell that CPS does cause this moron belongs in jail.

I see you've posted other comments while I have been writing this but I'm done with my comments.

Wow!!! I love how people think they can accuse a young man (one whom I think very highly of) of being a monster trying to get my duaghter in bed then take off!!!! He is in love with her and she is in love with him. Simple as that. I can't control what happens when they leave our house and head on a date or to his house. His parents are responsible when they are there. (which is not often)......From a lot of the comments I'm reading. People seem to think that it would be ok if she was screwing some irresponsible 16 year old rather than trying to build a relationship with a responsible young man with life goals!!!!! I had to look at the web address to this site just to be sure I was on the correct site. I thought maybe I clicked on Dr. Phils website by accident. Good god..........give me a break!!! my daughter is on birth control, knows about safe sex, has seen all the pictures of the diseases she could get sleeping around. I even showed her a very graphic vid of child birth to educate her on what could happen. Stop chastising me. It is not my fault my daughter fell in love. I am just trying to find a way of stopping her from getting her heart ripped from her chest!!!

exactly how long is it until she turns 16? if she isn't mature enough to understand why she needs to wait, are you sure she is old enough to make such a mature decision? That's why the laws are on the books...

I've seen many people think they are "madly in love" who haven't made it past the first big hurdle. Why not see how this young gentleman handles the time in between now and when she turns 16. If he loves her, he WILL wait.

Who said anything about her not understanding? She will be 16 in less than 7 months and yes she knows she has to wait. None of us really knew the laws to be honest. He is willing to wait too. From what children and youth is telling us, they may not even be able to talk on the damn phone. That is overreach of power and I'm not going to take it sitting down.

[budwad]

Most of these responses are draconian in that the last time some of these experts raised a teenager was back in the 80's . Times have changed and a loving parent that tries to raise a child with good values doesn't have to answer to this BS. This is a legal website. If it's not about the law then they should keep their opinions to themselves.

It won't be up to a case worker to decide the outcome here. It will likely be up to a prosecutor to decide what happens.

[hr for me]

But honestly you can control when she is allowed to leave the house, when you took her to the doctor and got her birth control, and when she was allowed to start dating and when those dates were allowed to be at the BF's house, but what has already been said is true...that ship has sailed. Obviously you are 100% totally fine with this (sexual) relationship and want to allow it and hope it doesn't go bad. I hope in the end it works for you, her and the BF.

But the time to "build a relationship" is NOT YET. She's only 15! She has at least 2 more years of HS left, right? Does she even want to go further in her education at all?

Personally I would be counseling my daughter that more trouble could show up if they choose to break the laws further. And that it be best if they wait 7 months -- even to talk on the phone. How 'bout they do the old fashioned thing and write letters? I think in the end if you allow them to have to deal with the obstacles and boundaries, it will make for a much better relationship and if they fail with these obstacles, will they really make it in a long term relationship? Solving (hard) obstacles is good for kids -- I have 3 that are OLDER than her and highly suggest if she is that mature, that you let her work this out with your guidance.

[Dogmatique]

Wow!!! I love how people think they can accuse a young man (one whom I think very highly of) of being a monster trying to get my duaghter in bed then take off!!!! He is in love with her and she is in love with him. Simple as that. I can't control what happens when they leave our house and head on a date or to his house. His parents are responsible when they are there. (which is not often)......From a lot of the comments I'm reading. People seem to think that it would be ok if she was screwing some irresponsible 16 year old rather than trying to build a relationship with a responsible young man with life goals!!!!! I had to look at the web address to this site just to be sure I was on the correct site. I thought maybe I clicked on Dr. Phils website by accident. Good god..........give me a break!!! my daughter is on birth control, knows about safe sex, has seen all the pictures of the diseases she could get sleeping around. I even showed her a very graphic vid of child birth to educate her on what could happen. Stop chastising me. It is not my fault my daughter fell in love. I am just trying to find a way of stopping her from getting her heart ripped from her chest!!!



Who said anything about her not understanding? She will be 16 in less than 7 months and yes she knows she has to wait. None of us really knew the laws to be honest. He is willing to wait too. From what children and youth is telling us, they may not even be able to talk on the damn phone. That is overreach of power and I'm not going to take it sitting down.

That's not going to be your decision. Thankfully.

[qwaspolk69]

Look. We don't throw a box of condoms at these two and tell them to have at it!!!! We try to keep our eyes on them as much as possible but it is not possible for us to watch them when she was with him at his house. We don't let them do things that we feel may put them in a situation that would tempt them into thinking they could get away with it. You forget that the boy has parents too? They both admitted to having sex at HIS house, not ours!!! (she is not allowed to go there anymore) They confessed at separate times too so there was no way they could collude to get their story straight!! I didn't come here to get bashed and told how to raise my daughter. You have no clue how nice of a boy he is. Most kids his age are out looking to get high, drunk or in some kind of trouble. Stop lecturing me on how to raise my daughter. I didn't ask for parenting advice. If you have some legal advice on this subject, I'd be happy to read it

You know how you could have avoided this? Never let her date a 19 year old MAN. It doesn't matter where they had sex at. Do you know what my dad would have done had I had sex at 15 with a 19 year old man? Or if I brought a 19 year old home? That relationship would have been dead.

It doesn't matter how "nice" the man is. He's an adult. She's a minor. Also you need to read the disclaimer at the bottom of the page. You can't get legal advice here. You need a LAWYER to get legal advice.

So you're okay with them having sex after she's 16? Do you want a pregnant teen daughter? That's what you're going to get. You don't have to ask for parenting advice - it's an automatic on this one.

If that man dating your daughter wants to avoid being a convicted sex offender for the rest of his life, he might want to go find a woman his own age and stay away from teen girls who can't even consent to sex. Do you know what legally he's done to her? Statutory rape. Just saying.

Thank you for your response. I don't know what else to do. Somebody that hates my daughter is mad for some reason. I have msgs on my phone from a female that told me about her and this boy. (I already knew). These two are in love. It is NOT puppy love. I have been madly in love with my wife for 24 years so I know what love looks like. I don't understand how the state can step in and bully these kids into breaking up when there are so many other cases of actual rape going on un-noticed or uninvestigated (I have reported some people). I know the law is the law is the law but is it possible that the caseworker may approve of them dating or is she going to have to wait untill she is of consenting age? (16) That is what the caseworker told us the age of consent is.



was my wife or I sappose to tag along at his parents house? I'm being made out to be some sort of dead beat here. ........there is only so much I can do as a parent short of locking her in her bedroom until she turns 18. Good grief!!!

The state can step in because a MAN is having sex with your UNDERAGE DAUGHTER!! What the hell don't you get? When an adult has sex with a minor who CANNOT legally consent to it that is STATUTORY RAPE! She can't consent to sex with anyone. It's pretty damn simple.

YES you could have chaperoned them on dates. You're her dad. YOU set the rules. Not him. Not her. YOU.

Would she have sex with anyone she wants without you knowing? Of course. But when you let your minor underage daughter date a MAN then this is what you get. The person who reported it did the RIGHT thing. Something you should have done.

So many other cases of rape going unnoticed or not investigated - how the hell do you know which cases are or aren't investigated? You don't. Oh you've reported people for rape? Really? But you won't report when your daughter is raped...ok. Smh.

Wow!!! I love how people think they can accuse a young man (one whom I think very highly of) of being a monster trying to get my duaghter in bed then take off!!!! He is in love with her and she is in love with him. Simple as that. I can't control what happens when they leave our house and head on a date or to his house. His parents are responsible when they are there. (which is not often)......From a lot of the comments I'm reading. People seem to think that it would be ok if she was screwing some irresponsible 16 year old rather than trying to build a relationship with a responsible young man with life goals!!!!! I had to look at the web address to this site just to be sure I was on the correct site. I thought maybe I clicked on Dr. Phils website by accident. Good god..........give me a break!!! my daughter is on birth control, knows about safe sex, has seen all the pictures of the diseases she could get sleeping around. I even showed her a very graphic vid of child birth to educate her on what could happen. Stop chastising me. It is not my fault my daughter fell in love. I am just trying to find a way of stopping her from getting her heart ripped from her chest!!!



Who said anything about her not understanding? She will be 16 in less than 7 months and yes she knows she has to wait. None of us really knew the laws to be honest. He is willing to wait too. From what children and youth is telling us, they may not even be able to talk on the damn phone. That is overreach of power and I'm not going to take it sitting down.

She shouldn't be having sex with ANYONE at 15!!! Are you insane or something? If I found out my 15 year old daughter was having sex with ANYONE I would put a stop to it as much as I could. I don't need a 15 year old pregnant teenager nor her catching some damn STI. You think you know this guy but I guarantee you that you don't.

Fell in love...give me a break.

Overreach of power - your daughter was raped. That's the end of the story - legally it's statutory rape whether you like it or not. FFS I just don't get some people who are parents.

Most of these responses are draconian in that the last time some of these experts raised a teenager was back in the 80's . Times have changed and a loving parent that tries to raise a child with good values doesn't have to answer to this BS. This is a legal website. If it's not about the law then they should keep their opinions to themselves.

It won't be up to a case worker to decide the outcome here. It will likely be up to a prosecutor to decide what happens.

Seriously? I've seen you throw your two cents in on posts.

[chumly222]

You know what? I met my wife when I was 18, she was 15. We have been married for 24 years now. Happily I might add!!! For you people to get on here and bash me and my family is a bunch or BS!!! You don't know anything about us other than we are having a legal issue!!! Good grief.......I knew I should have left her date that boy that rode his skateboard to our house to see her with his pants down over his ass, his hat on sideways and greeted me with.........."Sup"?.........The boy in question now is a hardworking young man with family values that we share. He is off to college this fall to get a degree in his field of study. sick of people thinking they are some sort of therapist on there keyboard!!!