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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    671

    Default Re: Can You Help a Gay Minor Move Out of an Unsupportive Home

    I'm somewhat confused.... this is your niece? Is the aunt she wants to live with someone else? How do you communicate with her? What state is she in?

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Can You Help a Gay Minor Move Out of an Unsupportive Home

    She is in TN and I'm the aunt and I live in Alabama but I am willing to move back to TN if I can get her out of the house. She wants to live with me. An yes I live with my boyfriend. An yes this is my niece

    She has been through hell and back and I'm not goin to put all that out here. She done been to counseling for that other reason and her father is in jail where he belongs. But I guess them ignoring her and the only time they do talk to her is to fuss at her and put her down. I'm guessing that's not abuse either. But I guess whopping a child is abuse by law these day but ignoring their child and their privacy by taking doors down and taking their phone away (isolating them) and putting them down ain't any type of abuse. In my book that is neglect of a child and emotional abuse. If you can do these things in a relationship and they be considered emotional abuse what's the difference here other than it's by her mother and step dad. And I'm guessing by them letting a drug user who had been in an out of jail and all that ain't putting the child in harms way either. Sorry didn't mean to rant or fuss just frustrated that she has to once again deal with a situation that leads to a mess. An you can't talk to the mother and step dad because they won't condole that in their house and demaind her to change cause they won't have it.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: Can You Help a Gay Minor Move Out of an Unsupportive Home

    The bottom line here is that unless CPS finds sufficient evidence to remove her from the home, in which case there is no guarantee that she will be placed with you (and no chance at all if you are living out of state) she lives where her parents say she lives until she is 18.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    47.606 N 122.332 W in body, still at 90 S in my mind.
    Posts
    1,678

    Default Re: Can You Help a Gay Minor Move Out of an Unsupportive Home

    I notice that nowhere is there mention of the Niece's age. How old is she?

    n my book that is neglect of a child and emotional abuse.
    Your book is 100% irrelevant. You are WAY too invested in a situation that you have no control over. If you choose to interfere you can lose access to your niece. Her parents can bar access.

    Removing her door and taking away her phone are not illegal and do not constitute child abuse. Emotional abuse really isn't a thing. There is no right enumerated anywhere that you get to feel good. IF there is emotional abuse (I really hate that term) that would constitute a crime proving it would be...difficult. As a parent you required to provide a few changes of clothing, food and place for the child to sleep. There is no legal requirement that they get their own room, bed, door phone, computer or anything else. Oh, children are also obligated to attend school.

    You continue to try to make the convict a relevant part of the discussion but unless the crimes he was convicted for involve children or possibly of a sexual nature that require no children around him in the parole requirements than it's not a problem, legally.

    Parents can be awful people, no doubt, and they have a lot of control. They can exclude a nosy aunt, for example, who interferes. They can also punish the child for the actions and interference of the nosy aunt.

    I can tell you to give your niece the same advice that Dan Savage would give her (if you don't know who he is I suggest you look him up. He could be a valuable and comforting resource for your niece): The best revenge is to lead a happy life. As a kid you can't escape. You're stuck. So, bide your time, get a good education and take care of yourself. Get a job and the money if you can. When you turn 18 you can leave the crappy flyspeck town that you live in and go somewhere where you be accepted. Keep going to school and learn how to be happy. It gets better.

    Try this. http://www.itgetsbetter.org

    Dan has also written some books that could be helpful.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: Can You Help a Gay Minor Move Out of an Unsupportive Home

    Quote Quoting Brown33
    View Post
    She is in TN and I'm the aunt and I live in Alabama but I am willing to move back to TN if I can get her out of the house. She wants to live with me. An yes I live with my boyfriend. An yes this is my niece

    She has been through hell and back and I'm not goin to put all that out here. She done been to counseling for that other reason and her father is in jail where he belongs. But I guess them ignoring her and the only time they do talk to her is to fuss at her and put her down. I'm guessing that's not abuse either. But I guess whopping a child is abuse by law these day but ignoring their child and their privacy by taking doors down and taking their phone away (isolating them) and putting them down ain't any type of abuse. In my book that is neglect of a child and emotional abuse. If you can do these things in a relationship and they be considered emotional abuse what's the difference here other than it's by her mother and step dad. And I'm guessing by them letting a drug user who had been in an out of jail and all that ain't putting the child in harms way either. Sorry didn't mean to rant or fuss just frustrated that she has to once again deal with a situation that leads to a mess. An you can't talk to the mother and step dad because they won't condole that in their house and demaind her to change cause they won't have it.
    Actually in most states "whooping" a child isn't even child abuse. Each state has a different level of what constitutes physical child abuse.

    But I would say yes beating your child is child abuse but disciplining them is not. Taking the doors off isn't abuse - no child has the "right" to privacy from t heir parents. Taking the phone isn't abuse either. That's called parenting to most people and courts. Putting your kid down...depends on what is said. My mom emotionally abused us.

    Neglect would be her basic life needs aren't being met. No one said it's okay to emotionally abuse children but it's hard to prove emotional abuse - whether you are a kid or an adult.

    How is a drug user being in the house a harm to her? Is the drug user giving the minor drugs? Is the drug user abusing her physically or sexually? Or is the drug abuser minding his or her own business with her drugs away from the kid? I wouldn't want a drug addict around my daughter but I'm not them.

    Parents legally can object to their children's sexual orientation. As it has been stated, if CPS doesn't find any signs of abuse then they can't and won't do anything. Unless CPS finds evidence to remove her there isn't much you can do. She's not the only gay teen who has had to deal with crappy parents who don't like the way they were born. Some people get support when they come out, some don't.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    3,212

    Default Re: Can You Help a Gay Minor Move Out of an Unsupportive Home

    When did you visit the child in Tenn and see the things she is telling you for yourself ? Teenagers lie and embellish. If you have not been in her home recently as well as talked with her parents you have nothing to base what she is telling you on.

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