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  1. #1
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    Question How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    Question in reference to a minor and legal adult in Missouri.

    I'm aware questions of this nature have been asked and responded to time and time again, with essentially the same result every single time... however, I'm a bit bullheaded and pretty insistent on seeing what I can do about my current situation. I'm not whining because it's bad; there's nothing dramatic or special about my case. I'm just interested on sharing the opinions of people who have experience with the laws - especially family law in Missouri (which feels pretty non-existent at times).

    Starting from the beginning, I am 18 now and my fiancé (though her guardian (who is not her parent) would disagree with that title) is 16 as of February. When we started dating, I was 17 and she was 15 which I believe stands up in Romeo & Juliet laws (unclear on the extent of their protection) as well as what I understand to be the statutory limitations on minors in Missouri. The current long-term goal is to wait until she's 17, at which time she can leave the home and the police cannot force her to go back home (I asked the police department about this myself).

    In the short term, I wanted some wizened opinions on making a petition for emancipation to the 39th Circuit Court in Missouri. She'd be the one filing, of course. The idea is that since she works full-time and is completely capable of setting up payment arrangements with her guardian to essentially be "self-sufficient", it would be an almost trivial matter to bring a petition before the court and try to rule that it is in her best interest to be emancipated. However, a suspected pregnancy and family issues may pose a challenge to that.

    Continuing, I'm well aware the age-old war between teens and their guardians; more than aware. I'm a spectacularly clean case when it comes to that, but I understand it thoroughly. As "abuse" is a highly subjective point to stand on, my fiancé feels as though her guardian is emotionally abusive and unnecessarily controlling at times. She has also been hit before, though it did not stand up with the police as no marks were left (happy and disappointed at the same time).

    We've done everything we can right. We're both Christians, we both agreed to marry before we had sex the first time, and we were open about it with her guardian. Her overall family has a rather full past of emotional and, to some degree, physical abuse. I'd simply like to see what options there are of enabling her to live with me sooner than when she turns 17.

    As it stands, I also work and can easily support myself on my stable income, though I'm fully aware that has virtually no weight in a court case.

    As an additional question, if we were to make a case to allow us to be married by court order, might that work? And on top of that, would pregnancy help with that particular option?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    You haven't actually done much reading about this at all, have you?

    I suggest you do so.


  3. #3
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    Massachusetts
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    First off, allow me to make one correction. A poorly written law in your state means that some LEO are unwilling to (NOT prohibited from) bringing a 17 year old runaway home if that runaway is in a safe place.

    However, there is nothing whatsoever in the law that would stop Mom and Dad, or her legal guardian, from bringing her right back home and cutting off all her contact with you until she reaches the age of majority, which is 18. Not 17, 18. And that same poorly written law means that LEO would not interfere with that, either.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    It does NOT look like emancipation is likely for your underage girlfriend:

    Requirements for Emancipation
    In Missouri a minor can become emancipated in one of three ways:

    - Your parents give their express consent to the court to terminate their parental rights;
    - Your parents give their implied consent by permitting you to live on your own, support yourself, and have already effectively given up their parental rights;
    - or You have married or enlisted in the military.

    Emancipation is typically not available to minors under the age of sixteen. As a practical matter, minors under the age of sixteen cannot seek employment and are highly unlikely to be able to support themselves, particularly since they may not support them


    So, which of these three requirements do you think your girlfriend has fulfilled? From the sound of it: None.

    It should also be noted that there appears to be no formal process of emancipation in MO, so she would have to convince a court that she can support herself, stay in school, and that emancipation would be in her best interest. Highly doubtful considering the only real reason for emancipation seems to be in order to play house.

    If it is love, she will be ready to walk out the door at 18 with whatever mom lets her take with her, and the two of you can make all the mistakes in life you choose. Until then, she is her mom's responsibility.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    Quote Quoting cbg
    View Post
    ... it is highly unlikely that it will agree that an 18 year old has a better means to care for a minor child.
    Even in the instance that the said guardian is dependent on a caregiver of her own and makes less annually?

    Quote Quoting cbg
    View Post
    And the MINUTE you suggest that getting her pregnant might help your position, the law is going to shut you down but good.
    That's fair in the case of emancipation... but if it was a decision mutually made and agreed upon, what does that spell out for petitioning a marriage license? Is that even a possibility?

    Quote Quoting cdwjava
    View Post
    It should also be noted that there appears to be no formal process of emancipation in MO, so she would have to convince a court that she can support herself, stay in school, and that emancipation would be in her best interest.
    What would truly constitute a show of being able to support oneself, aside from living alone - which in general circumstances isn't possible? Is staying in school important if she were to acquire a G.E.D.? How subjective can "best interest" be?

    Quote Quoting cdwjava
    View Post
    ... Highly doubtful considering the only real reason for emancipation seems to be in order to play house.
    I'd like to point out that this is the case for even adults; only difference being that the older and wealthier you are the more amiable the world is to you, and how much more likely you're able to affect other people's lives by being inflexible. Aside, how much ground does her actually living a satisfying and more fulfilling life stand in court? How subjective is that allowed to go?

    Quote Quoting cdwjava
    View Post
    ... Until then, she is her mom's responsibility.
    This brings up a thought. From what I understand of her past, her mother was deemed unfit (haven't seen any papers or evidence to this effect) by the state of Colorado, where her grandmother was handed custody either by association or by some other rule I don't know. Does the mother still carry some weight with custody/guardianship/authority over her daughter?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    Quote Quoting TheSplashsky
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    Even in the instance that the said guardian is dependent on a caregiver of her own and makes less annually?
    Yep!

    Guardianship is about more than just money. The court cannot remove a guardian's parental/custodial rights simply because they make less than someone else.

    That's fair in the case of emancipation... but if it was a decision mutually made and agreed upon, what does that spell out for petitioning a marriage license? Is that even a possibility?
    Nope. Parental approval is needed for that as well.

    What would truly constitute a show of being able to support oneself, aside from living alone - which in general circumstances isn't possible? Is staying in school important if she were to acquire a G.E.D.? How subjective can "best interest" be?
    The one to convince is a court. But, arguing that she'd feel better shacked up with her boyfriend than living with mom is hardly a compelling argument.

    Emancipation is most often reserved for those children whose parents support it - for whatever reason (though, often it is to permit the child to attend college early), or, because the child has been thrust into a situation through no fault of their own that they are effectively on their own, anyway. Statistically, the number of emancipation petitions that are approved are minuscule.

    I'd like to point out that this is the case for even adults; only difference being that the older and wealthier you are the more amiable the world is to you, and how much more likely you're able to affect other people's lives by being inflexible. Aside, how much ground does her actually living a satisfying and more fulfilling life stand in court? How subjective is that allowed to go?
    Except that adults can play house without approval from a parent or the court. The likelihood of teenagers having to rely on public assistance is far greater than that of functional adults who can seek out and gain employment - even if it might be flipping burgers.

    This brings up a thought. From what I understand of her past, her mother was deemed unfit (haven't seen any papers or evidence to this effect) by the state of Colorado, where her grandmother was handed custody either by association or by some other rule I don't know. Does the mother still carry some weight with custody/guardianship/authority over her daughter?
    Having once been "unfit" does NOT remove her parental rights, or her daughter would no longer be with her. Clearly, she jumped through the hurdles necessary ... assuming she was ever declared unfit at all.

    Face it, the two of you will have to wait until she is an adult to shack up. So, why don't you use that time to go to college and better yourself so that you might be in a better position to support her when she reaches the age of 18 and walks away from mom?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    Quote Quoting cdwjava
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    Having once been "unfit" does NOT remove her parental rights, or her daughter would no longer be with her. Clearly, she jumped through the hurdles necessary ... assuming she was ever declared unfit at all.
    This! This is interesting! It's not her mother she lives with; it's her grandma. I imagine there's no way to prove it without seeing documents or being directly related to them... can her mother assume any sort of authority IF she WAS declared unfit? How long does that stigma stay?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    Quote Quoting TheSplashsky
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    This! This is interesting! It's not her mother she lives with; it's her grandma. I imagine there's no way to prove it without seeing documents or being directly related to them... can her mother assume any sort of authority IF she WAS declared unfit? How long does that stigma stay?
    The legal guardian is who the court says it is. If you choose to, replace "parent" or "mother" with "guardian" in all of the replies, and the answer will remain the same. Until the court removes this position from grandma - or whomever else- that person remains the guardian.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How to Help a Minor Girlfriend Get Emancipated

    Quote Quoting TheSplashsky
    View Post
    Question in reference to a minor and legal adult in Missouri.

    I'm aware questions of this nature have been asked and responded to time and time again, with essentially the same result every single time... however, I'm a bit bullheaded and pretty insistent on seeing what I can do about my current situation. I'm not whining because it's bad; there's nothing dramatic or special about my case. I'm just interested on sharing the opinions of people who have experience with the laws - especially family law in Missouri (which feels pretty non-existent at times).

    Starting from the beginning, I am 18 now and my fiancé (though her guardian (who is not her parent) would disagree with that title) is 16 as of February. When we started dating, I was 17 and she was 15 which I believe stands up in Romeo & Juliet laws (unclear on the extent of their protection) as well as what I understand to be the statutory limitations on minors in Missouri. The current long-term goal is to wait until she's 17, at which time she can leave the home and the police cannot force her to go back home (I asked the police department about this myself).

    In the short term, I wanted some wizened opinions on making a petition for emancipation to the 39th Circuit Court in Missouri. She'd be the one filing, of course. The idea is that since she works full-time and is completely capable of setting up payment arrangements with her guardian to essentially be "self-sufficient", it would be an almost trivial matter to bring a petition before the court and try to rule that it is in her best interest to be emancipated. However, a suspected pregnancy and family issues may pose a challenge to that.

    Continuing, I'm well aware the age-old war between teens and their guardians; more than aware. I'm a spectacularly clean case when it comes to that, but I understand it thoroughly. As "abuse" is a highly subjective point to stand on, my fiancé feels as though her guardian is emotionally abusive and unnecessarily controlling at times. She has also been hit before, though it did not stand up with the police as no marks were left (happy and disappointed at the same time).

    We've done everything we can right. We're both Christians, we both agreed to marry before we had sex the first time, and we were open about it with her guardian. Her overall family has a rather full past of emotional and, to some degree, physical abuse. I'd simply like to see what options there are of enabling her to live with me sooner than when she turns 17.

    As it stands, I also work and can easily support myself on my stable income, though I'm fully aware that has virtually no weight in a court case.

    As an additional question, if we were to make a case to allow us to be married by court order, might that work? And on top of that, would pregnancy help with that particular option?
    A few things:

    Stop using and abusing parentheses. You'll hurt yourself.

    Never, ever make a parenthetical statement inside of a parenthetical statement.

    Wizened...I do not think that word means what you think it means. old apples are wizened. The folks here are wise.

    Romeo and Juliet laws are irrelevant here as you're asking about emancipation.

    Your belief that bringing a petition before the court is trivial is mistaken and it certainly not a foregone conclusion. It is not in her best interest and your relationship with her will not help matters.

    Emancipation is not a mechanism for relief from abuse, that is what CPS is for. If she's being abused then call CPS. Abuse and the emotional issues that tend to accompany abuse will prevent emancipation.

    No one cares that you're Christian (why do people always say that? Is it some sort of talisman to get what they want or to justify some variety of wretched behavior?) (that's how parenthetical statements are used) it's completely irrelevant. No one cares about pretty much this entire paragraph.

    Your work and income are irrelevant. If you knew that this was irrelevant then why bother mentioning it at all?

    I won't even comment on the final question beyond this; NONONONONONONONONO!!!

    Later on, in post #4 you claim that you are both "mature, responsible people" I would dispute that and say that you are both children. being 18 makes you legally an adult but doesn't remove the rose colored lenses that you see the world through. I would posit that our "fogged lenses" are lenses that have been stripped of filters save the one that removes the BS.

    Granted, and your show of empathy (/s) belies your experience as an advice-giver for the law. That's highly unfortunate... Thanks for your time anyway.
    Really? Why should I have any empathy for you? I do think you mean sympathy, however. Don't use big words you don't understand.

    I'll wrap this up. You don't respect the guardian and nothing you have to say is relevant at all. The girl will have to remain with the guardian until she's 18 and I recommend you not interfere or you'll find yourself restrained and yes, the guardian can prohibit you from seeing her.

    Grow up. Bear in mind that the law doesn't care. It's has no emotion.

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