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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    5

    Default When to File for Full Custody vs Shared Parenting in Ohio

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Ohio

    Regarding this thread: https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=218252

    The dissolution has been resolved and is final.

    Some background as an update:

    - My insistence she not return was a good move (those who said I couldn't "insist" need to look up the difference between "insist" and "compel") and was the foundation for her establishing a residence outside the current school district.

    - Keeping the phone was a good move. A lot of information was recovered from it that "compelled" her to go through with the dissolution on my terms

    - Once the residence of the children and other pieces of the post-separation balance of power were established, I focused on re-establishing an amicable relationship. This was a good move.

    The terms:

    I got both houses
    I got 100% of my retirement
    I get all kids as deductions all years
    I get $450 a month from her (i make 110 vs her 65)
    I pay $0 spousal support
    She assumes more than half the outstanding debt
    She pays half the medical out of pocket after insurance
    She pays half for extracurricular
    She takes the kids for half the time in summer
    It's shared parenting

    Bottom line for other victims of infidelity reading this, don't believe some of the BS of those in the other thread who suggested I was at a disadvantage ("I hope she moves back in" -- ohiogal ... sheesh, how can someone be emotionally invested in an anonymous poster enough to "hope" anything? lol.) if you find yourself in the position I was in you want to be extremely aggressive in establishing your interests, getting legal representation and then focus on creating and maintaining an amicable relationship to reduce or eliminate the defenses of your adversary.

    Here are my questions: As early as it is, she is already pushing back on taking the kids for half the time. She'll say nonsensical things like, "they can't be here this weekend because I'm on call and might not be here to watch them"; or, "they can't be here in the summer when I'm at work and they have to be here alone." The kids are 14, 15 and 17... and she would do what I do, let the 17 be in charge or hire a baby sitter... anyway... I am documenting each time she won't take the kids.

    She also complains to the kids about having to pay child support. The 17 yo told me the other day, "mom doesn't think I'm worth $150 a month" (i.e., one third of the $450). Sad.

    Anyway, at what point should I approach an attorney about filing a motion for full custody? Six months? A year? When I file for full custody, will the child support recalculation be automatic since it's different for shared parenting and full custody? (In the original agreement, I voluntarily agreed to a 55% reduction but I think I'll insist on the full amount if there's a recalculation.)

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: When to File for Full Custody vs Shared Parenting in Ohio

    Quote Quoting kjghf999
    View Post
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Ohio

    Regarding this thread: https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=218252

    The dissolution has been resolved and is final.

    Some background as an update:

    - My insistence she not return was a good move (those who said I couldn't "insist" need to look up the difference between "insist" and "compel") and was the foundation for her establishing a residence outside the current school district.

    - Keeping the phone was a good move. A lot of information was recovered from it that "compelled" her to go through with the dissolution on my terms

    - Once the residence of the children and other pieces of the post-separation balance of power were established, I focused on re-establishing an amicable relationship. This was a good move.

    The terms:

    I got both houses
    I got 100% of my retirement
    I get all kids as deductions all years
    I get $450 a month from her (i make 110 vs her 65)
    I pay $0 spousal support
    She assumes more than half the outstanding debt
    She pays half the medical out of pocket after insurance
    She pays half for extracurricular
    She takes the kids for half the time in summer
    It's shared parenting

    Bottom line for other victims of infidelity reading this, don't believe some of the BS of those in the other thread who suggested I was at a disadvantage ("I hope she moves back in" -- ohiogal ... sheesh, how can someone be emotionally invested in an anonymous poster enough to "hope" anything? lol.) if you find yourself in the position I was in you want to be extremely aggressive in establishing your interests, getting legal representation and then focus on creating and maintaining an amicable relationship to reduce or eliminate the defenses of your adversary.

    Here are my questions: As early as it is, she is already pushing back on taking the kids for half the time. She'll say nonsensical things like, "they can't be here this weekend because I'm on call and might not be here to watch them"; or, "they can't be here in the summer when I'm at work and they have to be here alone." The kids are 14, 15 and 17... and she would do what I do, let the 17 be in charge or hire a baby sitter... anyway... I am documenting each time she won't take the kids.

    She also complains to the kids about having to pay child support. The 17 yo told me the other day, "mom doesn't think I'm worth $150 a month" (i.e., one third of the $450). Sad.

    Anyway, at what point should I approach an attorney about filing a motion for full custody? Six months? A year? When I file for full custody, will the child support recalculation be automatic since it's different for shared parenting and full custody? (In the original agreement, I voluntarily agreed to a 55% reduction but I think I'll insist on the full amount if there's a recalculation.)

    Thanks.
    I encourage you most sincerely to pay an attorney now who can answer your questions in the manner you prefer.

    You're very welcome.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: When to File for Full Custody vs Shared Parenting in Ohio

    Quote Quoting kjghf999
    View Post
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Ohio

    Regarding this thread: https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=218252

    The dissolution has been resolved and is final.

    Some background as an update:

    - My insistence she not return was a good move (those who said I couldn't "insist" need to look up the difference between "insist" and "compel") and was the foundation for her establishing a residence outside the current school district.

    - Keeping the phone was a good move. A lot of information was recovered from it that "compelled" her to go through with the dissolution on my terms

    - Once the residence of the children and other pieces of the post-separation balance of power were established, I focused on re-establishing an amicable relationship. This was a good move.

    The terms:

    I got both houses
    I got 100% of my retirement
    I get all kids as deductions all years
    I get $450 a month from her (i make 110 vs her 65)
    I pay $0 spousal support
    She assumes more than half the outstanding debt
    She pays half the medical out of pocket after insurance
    She pays half for extracurricular
    She takes the kids for half the time in summer
    It's shared parenting

    Bottom line for other victims of infidelity reading this, don't believe some of the BS of those in the other thread who suggested I was at a disadvantage ("I hope she moves back in" -- ohiogal ... sheesh, how can someone be emotionally invested in an anonymous poster enough to "hope" anything? lol.) if you find yourself in the position I was in you want to be extremely aggressive in establishing your interests, getting legal representation and then focus on creating and maintaining an amicable relationship to reduce or eliminate the defenses of your adversary.

    Here are my questions: As early as it is, she is already pushing back on taking the kids for half the time. She'll say nonsensical things like, "they can't be here this weekend because I'm on call and might not be here to watch them"; or, "they can't be here in the summer when I'm at work and they have to be here alone." The kids are 14, 15 and 17... and she would do what I do, let the 17 be in charge or hire a baby sitter... anyway... I am documenting each time she won't take the kids.

    She also complains to the kids about having to pay child support. The 17 yo told me the other day, "mom doesn't think I'm worth $150 a month" (i.e., one third of the $450). Sad.

    Anyway, at what point should I approach an attorney about filing a motion for full custody? Six months? A year? When I file for full custody, will the child support recalculation be automatic since it's different for shared parenting and full custody? (In the original agreement, I voluntarily agreed to a 55% reduction but I think I'll insist on the full amount if there's a recalculation.)

    Thanks.
    I have to say that I am NOT impressed with you for cheating her out of her half of the marital assets. Everything else I would have expected, but there, you just plain cheated her.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: When to File for Full Custody vs Shared Parenting in Ohio

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I have to say that I am NOT impressed with you for cheating her out of her half of the marital assets. Everything else I would have expected, but there, you just plain cheated her.
    No legal cheating took place. All she had to do was pick up the phone can call any one of hundreds of divorce attorneys in the area for a free consultation.

    Be aggressive.

    Get legal representation.

    Be amicable.

    That's all I did. None of those things is "cheating."

    What's sad is men get screwed all the time in divorces and dissolutions. Often, they are the ones cheated on, and then they are forced to support not just their cheating ex but their cheating ex's lovers through spousal support and half the assets the man earned while the ex sat home and neglected the kids.

    In my case, here we have a man who "won." Can't anyone be just a little bit happy for me? lol

    Anyway, yes, I have paid for an attorney to give me the CORRECT answer on this new issue, not just answers "in the manner I prefer." It was my attorney giving me some hard facts at the beginning of this that led me to...

    Being aggressive.

    Getting legal representation.

    Being amicable.

    It was a couple on this forum that gave the bad advice. If I would have listened to those guys, I would have rolled over in fear. Glad I didn't do that. I've done the rough math. I came out about $300,000 to the good.

    And for going forward, I have spoken with my attorney. He says we'll wait six months and file for full custody -- assuming her behavior continues or worsens. At that time, the child support will be re-calculated and I will not give her the $550/month break that I gave her last time to be nice.

    What will she do? What men have been doing for decades. She'll get a second job or move into an inner-city efficiency apartment so she can afford her legal obligations to her children. I know a place. A guy I used to work with had to move there because of what his ex did to him.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: When to File for Full Custody vs Shared Parenting in Ohio

    Quote Quoting kjghf999
    View Post
    No legal cheating took place. All she had to do was pick up the phone can call any one of hundreds of divorce attorneys in the area for a free consultation.

    Be aggressive.

    Get legal representation.

    Be amicable.

    That's all I did. None of those things is "cheating."

    What's sad is men get screwed all the time in divorces and dissolutions. Often, they are the ones cheated on, and then they are forced to support not just their cheating ex but their cheating ex's lovers through spousal support and half the assets the man earned while the ex sat home and neglected the kids.

    In my case, here we have a man who "won." Can't anyone be just a little bit happy for me? lol

    Anyway, yes, I have paid for an attorney to give me the CORRECT answer on this new issue, not just answers "in the manner I prefer." It was my attorney giving me some hard facts at the beginning of this that led me to...

    Being aggressive.

    Getting legal representation.

    Being amicable.

    It was a couple on this forum that gave the bad advice. If I would have listened to those guys, I would have rolled over in fear. Glad I didn't do that. I've done the rough math. I came out about $300,000 to the good.

    And for going forward, I have spoken with my attorney. He says we'll wait six months and file for full custody -- assuming her behavior continues or worsens. At that time, the child support will be re-calculated and I will not give her the $550/month break that I gave her last time to be nice.

    What will she do? What men have been doing for decades. She'll get a second job or move into an inner-city efficiency apartment so she can afford her legal obligations to her children. I know a place. A guy I used to work with had to move there because of what his ex did to him.
    You asked this question:

    In my case, here we have a man who "won." Can't anyone be just a little bit happy for me? lol
    My response: You'll learn, in time, how little it matters that you "won". There are no winners here. There is you, and there is Mom ... and then there are the children. And they haven't "won" a darned thing.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: When to File for Full Custody vs Shared Parenting in Ohio

    I am never happy for a bully.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: When to File for Full Custody vs Shared Parenting in Ohio

    Quote Quoting kjghf999
    View Post
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Ohio

    Regarding this thread: https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=218252

    The dissolution has been resolved and is final.

    Some background as an update:

    - My insistence she not return was a good move (those who said I couldn't "insist" need to look up the difference between "insist" and "compel") and was the foundation for her establishing a residence outside the current school district.

    - Keeping the phone was a good move. A lot of information was recovered from it that "compelled" her to go through with the dissolution on my terms

    - Once the residence of the children and other pieces of the post-separation balance of power were established, I focused on re-establishing an amicable relationship. This was a good move.

    The terms:

    I got both houses
    I got 100% of my retirement
    I get all kids as deductions all years
    I get $450 a month from her (i make 110 vs her 65)
    I pay $0 spousal support
    She assumes more than half the outstanding debt
    She pays half the medical out of pocket after insurance
    She pays half for extracurricular
    She takes the kids for half the time in summer
    It's shared parenting

    Bottom line for other victims of infidelity reading this, don't believe some of the BS of those in the other thread who suggested I was at a disadvantage ("I hope she moves back in" -- ohiogal ... sheesh, how can someone be emotionally invested in an anonymous poster enough to "hope" anything? lol.) if you find yourself in the position I was in you want to be extremely aggressive in establishing your interests, getting legal representation and then focus on creating and maintaining an amicable relationship to reduce or eliminate the defenses of your adversary.

    Here are my questions: As early as it is, she is already pushing back on taking the kids for half the time. She'll say nonsensical things like, "they can't be here this weekend because I'm on call and might not be here to watch them"; or, "they can't be here in the summer when I'm at work and they have to be here alone." The kids are 14, 15 and 17... and she would do what I do, let the 17 be in charge or hire a baby sitter... anyway... I am documenting each time she won't take the kids.

    She also complains to the kids about having to pay child support. The 17 yo told me the other day, "mom doesn't think I'm worth $150 a month" (i.e., one third of the $450). Sad.

    Anyway, at what point should I approach an attorney about filing a motion for full custody? Six months? A year? When I file for full custody, will the child support recalculation be automatic since it's different for shared parenting and full custody? (In the original agreement, I voluntarily agreed to a 55% reduction but I think I'll insist on the full amount if there's a recalculation.)

    Thanks.
    Hi kjghf999,
    I'm in a very similar mess. My current attorney is slow and feels like opposition is winning. I am desperate to change lawyers but do not have any good referrals. Can you please let me know about your divorce and custody attorney. I will really appreciate it.

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