Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    3

    Default How to Stop My Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via Text

    I live in Florida. I share 2 children with my ex-husband who is considered a narcissistic, abusive, drug addict. I have full custody of them for the second time since our divorce in 2010. I had a restraining order on him during our marriage because of some issues with physically abuse. Even though I don't think he is a physical threat to me at this time, the rest of the torture continues. His thousands of text messages throughout the years have been mind melting. He has tried to turn the kids against me whenever he has gone to jail; He even brought me onto the Dr. Phil show, air date January 12, 2017, if that would help someone understand a small piece of what this man has done.

    The reason I am writing this now is because he has started the crazy texts again. He hasn't seen the kids since September 2016 and I won emergency custody for the second time in November 2016, and for I while after the Dr. Phil aired, which did not go as he had hoped to say it gently, he has been under the radar. Actually, I usually refer to these couple of months of peace since the show aired as "me being under his radar" since his contact has been random and sparse. Before yesterday he has emailed me once and texted me twice about speaking to the kids. I responded that he and I needed to discuss where he was in his life regarding his mental stability and sobriety before I would make any decisions involving the kids because I did not want them any more damaged than they already have been. He has now started the crazy delusional texts all over again where he rants about insane stuff like: that now that I'm getting 50% of his income, him, his wife and child are unable to live and "that's on" me. (I have not received any money since last June and the 4 scattered months before included purge payments from when he would go to jail for not paying.

    That since I'm now in full time ministry God should meet my needs; He wants to know what church my ministry is associated with; He wants to know if he should just go to our divorce case manager and tell him how difficult and self-righteous I'm being; that he won't tell me anything about what's going on in his life (drug issues) because I will turn them around and make his life a "living hell and that is not the sign of the leader of a Christian ministry"; He says that Christians are not supposed to go to court with each other (although he's been in court many times that had nothing to do with me, like him trying to sue another man for cyberstalking his infant son, and to sue a company for discrimination that was somehow related to them having a problem with addiction...seriously); that he used to have to the kids more than i will admit to and that I illegally collected child support, which he calls my "ungodly child support account"; He said that I've had sex with a friend of mine and a drug dealer to pay off his debt and that I told our daughter that and that I told her he begged me to be intimate with him, "who tells theiron daughter something like that?"; that I have "told him" that I have I have sold narcotics to people; He says I'm not really a Christian and I have a money launderling scheme. I'm so sorry, but the list just keeps going.

    The things I just shared with you were just some of the things he texted in just one day, although he has said those and many other things repeatedly for years now. My family has been tortured by the hundreds of psychotic things he's done over the years, including him running with the kids, taking them on crack binges, and physically abusing me in front of my children and even hurting my older children that I have from a previous marriage. I thought once he remarried I would finally be free, but I'm not. And now I have a public social media ministry and he is stalking my page and posts. What can I do before he emotionally destroys me, and now I have to worry about him publicly defacing my ministry. He has already done this to a church's Facebook page after he was forced to leave. That was a recovery church and he was banned from the 4 churches we attended while we were together. I've had to call the police so many times for different reasons, including refusing to bring the children home when he did have visitation, also being hostile towards me at my house. The court officers have to detain him in the courtroom until I have time to leave the premises. But they can't "do anything" until he actually hurts me again. But doesn't what he's doing count for something, especially now that he's a threat to my reputation as a minister. I don't know if anyone will ever read this story, or have any ideas about how to make him leave me alone, but God bless you if you or anyone you know can help me. Sincerely.

    Sorry for typos, I'm getting upset talking about this.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    3,128

    Default Re: How Can I Keep Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via

    Does he have court ordered visitation? If he does exactly what do the court papers state?

    He is sending these upsetting texts to upset and control you. But, you are the one that is allowing him to succeed at upsetting and controlling you.

    Are you a minister in a church ? If you are, talk to the pastor you are under about this. He or she is the one to best address your concerns about him affecting your ministery. The Lord Has The Power. Your Ex Does Not. Unless You Give It To Him.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,932

    Default Re: How Can I Keep Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via

    You are likely to get more responses if you will edit your post to make paragraphs and double spacing between the paragraphs. A big block of text like that is very difficult to read.

    As far as the texts from your ex are concerned, you really need to know how to tune those out, but also to preserve those for the record since they do tend to show how mentally disturbed he is. Otherwise, its better for your mental health to just pity him for his problems. Do not engage with him at all unless its something that needs to be dealt with, and none of his ramblings seem to need to be dealt with.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: How Can I Keep Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via

    He lost his visitation rights for the second time last November. He seems more obsessed with me than the kids almost.

    I do go to a church, but my ministry is a stand alone social media ministry.

    Every time I think I have pulled it together as far as his control, something like this happens again.

    I'm having to learn about my Complex PTSD, eating disorders and panic attacks and how to overcome them because I want to help others who deal with domestic violence through my ministry. But this is not your normal bitter ex. He has done some very, very dangerous things trying to control me in the past.

    I know that I have the Lord, but I also know that my ex has free will. How do I balance that? Do nothing and hope for the best?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: How Can I Keep Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via

    Who considers him a narcissist? That’s not something you can diagnose. I’m sure he has the symptoms (my ex husband does) but I can’t legally call him a narcissist. He also is an abusive drug addict.

    How about you just block him on your phone and set up Family Wizard? That gets set up through the court and it is monitored. Then you don’t have to worry about him having your phone number and harassing you.

    What does your court order say about visitation? If he has visitation you have to let him have it. Otherwise he could take you back to court. If he has no visitation then it’s up to you.
    Just ignore everything he says that has nothing to do with the kids. Why do you entertain his idiocy? Family Wizard. Look into it.

    Quote Quoting overtheedge
    View Post
    He lost his visitation rights for the second time last November. He seems more obsessed with me than the kids almost.
    Okay he has no visitation rights - so BLOCK HIM. Block his phone number. Block him on social media. If he has no visitation then you two have nothing to talk about. You're the one who keeps letting him control you and you aren't even together anymore. I know I've been there. My ex is a complete tool bag. He is in jail again for the umpteenth time. He sent me a letter and tells me how I was "never there for him." I could go on and on. He physically, mentally, emotionally and financially abused me for about five years. Luckily we were only married a year. But at some point you have to just tell yourself no more. You have to stop letting him get to you. If you aren't seeking therapy you need to be to find ways to control your PTSD and panic attacks.

    I would block him from everything until a court tells me I have to let him see the kids. That's what I would do.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: How Can I Keep Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via

    I have never heard of Family Wizard, but WILL look into it. Thank you. Please understand, though, this is not simply "me entertaining his idiocy." He is dangerous, literally. As far as being considered a narcissist, that wasn't a diagnosis from me. Through many counselors, therapy with phycoloists and pastors, at clinics and churches, that was established quite some time ago, along with the psychologist that also said he has no conscious.
    As far as blocking him on the social media side for the ministry, he hasn't "liked" the page, which from doing some research is the only way to "ban" him. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    I want to let everyone know I do not try to entertain anything when it comes to him. He is relentless and scary.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    3,128

    Default Re: How Can I Keep Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via

    Are you seeing a psychiatrist and counselor to help with the PTSD? If not, you need to start. It might also help to talk to your pastor about what is going on and your concerns.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: How Can I Keep Ex-Husband from Continuing to Mentally and Verbally Attack Me Via

    Quote Quoting overtheedge
    View Post
    I have never heard of Family Wizard, but WILL look into it. Thank you. Please understand, though, this is not simply "me entertaining his idiocy." He is dangerous, literally. As far as being considered a narcissist, that wasn't a diagnosis from me. Through many counselors, therapy with phycoloists and pastors, at clinics and churches, that was established quite some time ago, along with the psychologist that also said he has no conscious.
    As far as blocking him on the social media side for the ministry, he hasn't "liked" the page, which from doing some research is the only way to "ban" him. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    I want to let everyone know I do not try to entertain anything when it comes to him. He is relentless and scary.
    So I watched the Dr Phil show - and you both have issues when it comes to parenting as Dr Phil said. I hope you have changed and you aren't dragging your kids into the fighting anymore. I hope you guys took the counseling from Dr Phil - well it sounds like your ex didn't. I hope your daughter is doing better because she shouldn't be worrying about you two and your fighting. That pisses me off to no end. My ex's first wife and he used to both drag their daughter into their custody shit all the time. I have seen his daughter cry on the phone with her mother and heard her talking about things she should never have been talking to a then 10, 11, 12 year old about. I tried to not get involved but I did message her about it after about six months of that shit. Now my ex husband is by no means perfect. I know that and he would drag her in and talk about her mom and she would talk about my ex. They were both wrong and I told both of them that - and her mom would drag me into things and for no reason at all. Telling her adult stuff she didn't need to know about that young. His other three kids have been through far too much. His oldest is with another woman and the stepdad has custody of that kid. He hasn't talked to my ex since July (his oldest) and I don't blame him. The mom is a drug addict too. His daughter and other son have suffered due to this. His daughter has been in counseling since 9 years old. She has a big heart and constantly forgives her dad. THe son is young and doesn't know much. Our daughter I hope doesn't have to suffer through what they did.

    I said that if he's texting YOU on your phone, block his number. If his visitation was cancelled why do you still have his number? You don't have to talk to him and the kids don't have to see him so block him on your phone. Otherwise the more you let him access your phone through text you are entertaining his idiocy.

    This is how you ban someone even if they haven't "liked" a page: https://www.facebook.com/help/185897171460026

    There's another link with a YouTube video in that link. So even if he hasn't liked it - whoever is the admin can go to one of his comments and ban him that way.

    Yeah it's pretty obvious on the show that he has some issues as does his wife. But your kids shouldn't be involved in it. At all. I hope you got help from Dr Phil and I hope you took advice given. The sooner you stop letting him get to you the better off you'll be.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Copyright Law: Can You Stop a Publisher from Continuing a Column You Proposed After You Stop Writing
    By Sarin in forum Intellectual Property
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-05-2016, 06:10 AM
  2. Non-Compete Agreements: Can a Former Employer Stop You From Continuing Work for the Client Through a New Job
    By suganya in forum Employment and Labor
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-19-2014, 03:41 PM
  3. Modification of Custody: How Can I Get Full Custody of My Teenager Who is Being Verbally and Mentally Abused
    By coltsmom in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-29-2013, 10:48 AM
  4. Assault & Battery: Ptsd Due to an Attack by My Ex Husband
    By mandamoo32 in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-31-2010, 08:12 AM
  5. Protective Services: CPS Took Kids Because Of Mentally Ill Husband
    By lostwokids in forum Abuse and Neglect
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-08-2008, 11:45 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources