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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    1

    Question Can You Get a Change of Custody if the Children are Frequently Left With Relatives

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    Pre-info:
    My husband and I live in Nevada.
    The mom and his two sons live in California.

    I'm seeking advice for my husband (26 years old). He has two children from a previous relationship (they were never married). The first born is turning eight this year and the second is turning six. He's always wanted to file for custody, but has always felt that the court will favor the mother and that it will be extremely costly (we live paycheck to paycheck with a small savings, make about 50,000 annually). The boys are currently living with the mother's two aunts in a hotel room. The mom (27 years old) currently lives at her boyfriend's parent's apartment. As far as we know, the aunts take care of the boys the majority of the time.

    History:
    The mom used to live with her parents back in 2010. When her first son was born she would take care of him or he would be passed on to other family members to be taken care of while she was at work (ex. my husband, his parents, her aunts or her sister). As years went by and she had her second child, the care of the children slowly slipped into the hands of his parents. I started noticing the boys were pretty much living at his parents house. Also, she had put him on child support (which was fine). Except for the fact that the majority of the time they were at his mom and dad's house, so we weren't quite sure where the money was going. I would say about 2 years ago the mom's parents lost their house and we found out they were all living in a hotel room. The boys told their dad, they were sleeping on an air mattress at a hotel with their mom. This is relevent: The mom's two aunts were living at her parents house and they moved into her uncle's house temporarily. Then the mom's uncle kicked them out and they ended up at my husband's parents house. His mom finally told them they needed to find a different place and now the two aunts are at a hotel (with the boys).

    To sum it up, the boys haven't had much structure. They're constantly moving from place to place. My husband and I have a home. We have room for the boys. He talks about filing for custody constantly but always fears he's going to go through the whole process and get denied. Or worries that he will spend thousands of dollars on getting a lawyer and in the end it didn't make much of a difference.

    I think he has pretty good evidence to show that she's not taking care of her boys. But thats just my opinion. Hopefully, someone can help me give my husband some advice or perspective on the situation. I'm definitely no expert on the subject. Thanks for taking the time and reading. And thank you for any advice.

    My Info:
    Stay at home mom
    My husband and I have a three year old
    27 years old

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,286

    Default Re: Can You Get a Change of Custody if the Children are Frequently Left With Grandpar

    Your husband should really be on here on his own account asking questions since it applies to him.

    The only way he can get custody is he has to file. But first off - did he ever establish his paternity? Since they were unmarried he's not legally the father unless he establishes his paternity in court.

    Being poor doesn't make someone a bad parent. The court isn't going to take the kids from the only parent they've known just because she's poor. The threshold for parenting in the US is very low.

    He's never going to find out if he can or can't get custody if he doesn't try. If I thought my kids needed me and I didn't have custody, I'd sure as hell do everything in my power to get them.

    He needs to talk to a lawyer. Most give free consultations so he can get a free half hour out of them and should talk to at least three. But I don't see him getting custody from the mom based on this.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can You Get a Change of Custody if the Children are Frequently Left With Grandpar

    Tell your husband he needs an attorney. And that he needs to make sure his wife is waiting outside in the hallway when it comes to his legal matters.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

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