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  1. #1

    Default Is a Parent Responsible to Contribute to the Cost of Cosmetic Dental Procedures

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Virginia

    My 15-year old son is getting his braces off next week and my ex-wife is now expecting me to chip in for a tooth whitening procedure that she wants my son to have. Our mediation agreement spells out cost sharing for medical, dental, and orthodontia. I contacted the orthodontist and the reception stating that tooth whitening is not medically necessary, but would be nice for my son's appearance. My ex-wife specifically asked the orthodontist to write a note about this and in it he states that he recommends that my son be treated for dental staining, and that my son was referred to a cosmetic dentist. I'm not opposed to the procedure per se, and might be willing to chip in a few dollars but don't think I am legally liable to support this optional procedure. This seems to be in the same category as ear piercing and contact lenses. What is everyone's legal opinion? Thanks.

    PS - For the record I've never had any tooth whitening and I turned out just fine!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Would a Court Require Cosmetic Procedures if Not Included in Mediation Agreement

    Quote Quoting just.a.programmer
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Virginia

    My 15-year old son is getting his braces off next week and my ex-wife is now expecting me to chip in for a tooth whitening procedure that she wants my son to have. Our mediation agreement spells out cost sharing for medical, dental, and orthodontia. I contacted the orthodontist and the reception stating that tooth whitening is not medically necessary, but would be nice for my son's appearance. My ex-wife specifically asked the orthodontist to write a note about this and in it he states that he recommends that my son be treated for dental staining, and that my son was referred to a cosmetic dentist. I'm not opposed to the procedure per se, and might be willing to chip in a few dollars but don't think I am legally liable to support this optional procedure. This seems to be in the same category as ear piercing and contact lenses. What is everyone's legal opinion? Thanks.

    PS - For the record I've never had any tooth whitening and I turned out just fine!!
    Pretend you are a stranger and read what you just wrote...think about how it makes you sound. Then imagine your son reading it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    835

    Default Re: Would a Court Require Cosmetic Procedures if Not Included in Mediation Agreement

    The legal answer to your question would probably be no you wouldn't be required by law.

    The moral answer is that your son likely has the staining due to the braces. My brother's teeth had white spots on them after his were removed, and needed the whitening to even things out.

    How would you feel if you were on this site reading a post from your son wondering if he was legally obligated to provide anything extra to you when you are old and unable to care for yourself?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    1,179

    Default Re: Would a Court Require Cosmetic Procedures if Not Included in Mediation Agreement

    I'll play the other side. All three of my kids have had braces (2 had multiple sets) and at no time did we ever do any teeth whitening afterwards. So not every parent is going to pay for everything the child wants (as opposed to needs). I would wait to see what his teeth look like after the braces are off to decide if it was a want or a need and then whether I could afford the cost. Is there anyway you can make it to the appointment where they get taken off and talk directly with the orthodontist and be involved that way in the decision?

    But then again, my kids have been raised this way and know to expect that not every want is a yes. So I get where you are coming from. (And braces themselves are a large expense and sometimes it can seem that a next step is unnecessary -- I have probably already spent into 5 figures on the orthodontics for my kids and all were necessary) Just because there is a divorce involved doesn't mean the child should get everything he or either parent thinks he should have. To me this is one that takes two yes's (agreement) and one no will override one yes, especially if it is another expensive procedure.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    671

    Default Re: Would a Court Require Cosmetic Procedures if Not Included in Mediation Agreement

    p/x is an interesting read...

  6. #6

    Default Re: Would a Court Require Cosmetic Procedures if Not Included in Mediation Agreement

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Pretend you are a stranger and read what you just wrote...think about how it makes you sound. Then imagine your son reading it.
    OK. I'm clearly someone who adheres to the mediation agreement. That ought to give both my ex and my son a measure of assurance that they can count on me. When I make a promise I keep it! I'm someone willing to consider the opinions of others; in this case the orthodontist, the receptionist, and all in this forum who offer an opinion. I'm flexible in that I'm willing to provide some financial support for tooth whitening even though it's not specifically called out in the mediation agreement. I'm frugal as evidenced by not wanting to throw away money unnecessarily. I'm thorough as you can see by my wanting to know all of the issues regarding this matter.

    Quote Quoting readytoleave
    View Post
    The legal answer to your question would probably be no you wouldn't be required by law.

    The moral answer is that your son likely has the staining due to the braces. My brother's teeth had white spots on them after his were removed, and needed the whitening to even things out.

    How would you feel if you were on this site reading a post from your son wondering if he was legally obligated to provide anything extra to you when you are old and unable to care for yourself?
    If he were wondering about providing "anything extra" that would tell me that he would already be providing "everything necessary".

    I appreciate you sharing your thoughtful approach.

    Thanks for all of the responses!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    Default Re: Is a Parent Responsible to Contribute to the Cost of Cosmetic Dental Procedures

    Quote Quoting just.a.programmer
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    What is everyone's legal opinion? Thanks.
    There is no law that mandates parents provide tooth whitening treatment after orthodontia has been completed on their kid. Rather, what matters is what exactly your support order says and what the judge who would hear any dispute over the support order would say the terms of that order require you to pay. As I have not read your support order, I cannot venture any opinion as to whether you might be obligated to pay any portion of it. With a typical support order a lot would depend on whether it is medically necessary and just how good/bad the kid’s teeth look once the braces (or whatever) come off.

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