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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    4

    Default Big mess in Virginia

    Hope I have the right forum. We are in a mess here and need advice quickly. My son who is 20 is dating a girl who turns out to be 15. Apparently said she was 18 but that is beside the point. Said girl is now pregnant. The situation is her father lives in Missouri and just was released from prison. He is a convicted felon from drug violations and other things the girl hasn't disclosed. He is having her mother investigated for her ability to provide for this girl and her sister over paying child support. The mother is here and has no place to live at the moment. She has said that she wants the girl to live with us as we can provide for everything she needs. My son is taking full responsibility for the baby and we have moved the girl into our home. My husband and I both work and have a stable home enviroment. Our income is 100k a year and neither of us has had any trouble with the law nor has my son.
    The questions are...can this girl remain with us considering my son is the father? Can her father force her to move back to Missouri even though her mother has custody? Does my son have any rights to keep her here ? Is there any other solution other than marriage ? Is there any type of emancipation laws she would fall under? Please forgive all the questions but we are in chaos here trying to figure this out. To be completely honest, the fact that my son is 20 and she is 15 ( will turn 16 in Oct. ) is scaring the heck out of me. I'm in fear that this "investigation" will bring into light the ages and can cause a rape charge even though she was consenting. Please, please help ! Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    [QUOTE]
    Quote Quoting dlsmith65
    View Post
    Hope I have the right forum. We are in a mess here and need advice quickly. My son who is 20 is dating a girl who turns out to be 15.

    That is bad!



    Apparently said she was 18 but that is beside the point.
    "Not knowing" Is not a defense.



    Said girl is now pregnant.
    Statutory Rape, with the proof of said rape being the fetus.



    The situation is her father lives in Missouri and just was released from prison. He is a convicted felon from drug violations and other things the girl hasn't disclosed.
    Your son will also have a criminal record. She may not want to disclose this either....it is embarrassing from a CHILD'S point of view.

    He is having her mother investigated for her ability to provide for this girl and her sister over paying child support. The mother is here and has no place to live at the moment. She has said that she wants the girl to live with us as we can provide for everything she needs.


    It sounds like the father has good reason to investigate this woman. What she is proposing is ILLEGAL as she can not consent to the rape of her daughter.


    My son is taking full responsibility for the baby and we have moved the girl into our home.
    Should have talked to an attorney BEFORE moving the rape victim in with your child rapist son...This won't look good for you in criminal court when a RESPONSIBLE adult gets wind of this "situation"!

    My husband and I both work and have a stable home enviroment. Our income is 100k a year and neither of us has had any trouble with the law nor has my son.
    Until now.
    The questions are...can this girl remain with us considering my son is the father?
    NO!

    Can her father force her to move back to Missouri even though her mother has custody?
    Yes, If he is smart he will file criminal charges against this child's mother, you and your husband and your son. He will be granted emergency custody in a heart beat.

    Does my son have any rights to keep her here ?
    The only rights your son has at this time is to remain silent and to request an attorney.


    Is there any other solution other than marriage ?
    Yes. Your son will be attested for Statutory Rape and will go to prison. No one will marry these two.

    Is there any type of emancipation laws she would fall under?
    NO!


    Please forgive all the questions but we are in chaos here trying to figure this out. To be completely honest, the fact that my son is 20 and she is 15 ( will turn 16 in Oct. ) is scaring the heck out of me.
    As it should, it seems like it just a matter of time before you, your husband, son and the mother of this girl are brought up on charges.


    I'm in fear that this "investigation" will bring into light the ages and can cause a rape charge even though she was consenting.

    See if you had bothered to look up the Law's in your State you would have stumbled across the Statutory Rape Statutes, and the meaning. At 15 this CHILD can not legally "consent"!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    Thank you for your post and vicious personal attack. I do know that my son made a HUGE mistake by not researching her age, if that is possible. In my state the punishment is a possible misdemeanor charge against him. What I wanted to know was how to make the correct choices. You calling my husband and myself criminals was unjust and uncalled for. We are making the effort to try and right a wrong and coming here seems to have been a mistake. I was refered by a friend to this website as she said that there were knowledable people who might have a solution or couild point me in the right direction. Bay, you come across as spiteful and accusatory. I am a responsible parent having raised 5 children who are responsible adults, 3 of which with families of there own. This is the first time I have had to deal with this kind of situation. Perhaps I was wrong and this is a venomous site to be told just how pathetic you are for seeking information. No helpful information just a vicious attack. Have a nice day Bay. May God grant you a life with no possibility of mistakes.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    [QUOTE]
    Quote Quoting dlsmith65
    View Post
    Thank you for your post and vicious personal attack. I do know that my son made a HUGE mistake by not researching her age, if that is possible.

    Personal attack?? There was nothing personal in it.


    In my state the punishment is a possible misdemeanor charge against him.
    Ahhh...But have you looked up the OTHER possible charges you ALL have opened yourselves up to by bringing this child into your home?



    What I wanted to know was how to make the correct choices. You calling my husband and myself criminals was unjust and uncalled for.

    It is not unjust or uncalled for...it is the TRUTH! Your son committed Stat. Rape...and you have aided and abated this crime by bring this child into your home...

    a mistakeWe are making the effort to try and right a wrong and coming here seems to have been .

    The mistake you made was in NOT consulting an attorney BEFORE bring your son's rape victim into your home to play house!! You have created a bigger wrong!!


    I was refered by a friend to this website as she said that there were knowledable people who might have a solution or couild point me in the right direction.

    Go to an Attorney NOW.....That is the right direction!

    Bay, you come across as spiteful and accusatory.

    Spiteful?? How so? Accusatory I will admit to....I am accusing you of a crime, with cause.

    I am a responsible parent having raised 5 children who are responsible adults, 3 of which with families of there own.
    Responsible parents DO NOT bring their sons underage victim into their home!
    And if a 20 year old were to have sex with your 15 year old daughter what would be your reaction?? Perhaps a bit different??


    This is the first time I have had to deal with this kind of situation. Perhaps I was wrong and this is a venomous site to be told just how pathetic you are for seeking information.

    I am not venomous...No more than the officers that will arrest you and your son, nor the Prosecuting attorney that will try you all....

    No helpful information just a vicious attack. Have a nice day Bay. May God grant you a life with no possibility of mistakes.

    Made lots of mistakes, but aiding a molester in his sexual persuits is not one of them

    Please seek out an Attorney for advice and guidance, I think you will see that I am correct!

    Good Luck!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Behind a Desk
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    98,846

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    I agree with the original poster. The tone of the response is unnecessarily hostile and accusatory. Rude.

    People come here seeking help, not to get useless lectures.

    I am not sure what type of investigation the father has initiated. If it's that he's involved protective services, they can be expected to investigate the circumstances of the child's living arrangement, and to discover that she's pregnant and living with her 20-year-old boyfriend. They are "mandatory reporters", so if they determine that statutory rape probably occurred they will report that to the police.

    The one place where I agree with Baystategirl is that you should get advice from a lawyer.

  6. #6
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    Everything Baystategirl said was legally accurate. The attacks (if you can then attacks) met the circumstances. She provide correct information and if the OP cant take the heat then its best to stay out of the kitchen. Many many poor choices were made. The soluitions were given I see no harm in that post

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    I am able to take heat. I am able to take other's opinions in this matter. That is why I came here. I won't be accused of crimes I have not commited and be told I am a basically a horrible person for something I had no hand in. My goodness ! Don't you people think I would have went insane had I known he was involved with someone so young? We have always tried to keep our sons on the right path and this is the only one that has strayed. The ONLY reason we moved this girl into our home was at the bequest of the mother. She said that we could provide a better enviroment. This woman knew her daughter's age and allowed it. Yes she should be investigated for her parental ways. I myself would never allow my daughter to date someone five years older. Was it wrong for us to move her in ? Maybe so, but what were we supposed to do? My son does not live at home and I had no idea on who he was dating. He lives with his brother who works out of town weeks at a time. I'm just trying to figure out what to do. I have never violated the law in my 52 years. All I can do now is TRY and make it right as possible. I will consult a lawyer here on Monday. Thank you for your input.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Michigan
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    28,906

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    The level of rudeness in some of the responses in this thread is not appropriate. End of story.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    Bay was not being rude -- she was being blunt. People apparently love to confuse being blunt with being hostile. Sorry but that is not the truth.
    OP you have problems. YOur son will most likely face charges especially if his gf's father wants to push the issue. It is likely that her father can get custody because she is NOT residing with mom and mom has allowed her to move in with someone who has committed statutory rape against her. No one can CONSENT to statutory rape. The very fact of her age means that she was not old enough to consent and not able to legally. Hence your son is looking at problems. Dad may have felonies but if those felonies don't directly endanger his daughter he can get custody. Your son can be found to endanger this girl as he has committed a crime in which she is the victim.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Big mess in Virginia

    I am not confusing bluntness and rudeness here. I am not interested in arguing about it, either. If you are looking for a kitchen to heat up, try a cooking forum. If you wish to be "blunt" to the point that I perceive you as rude, try somebody else's forum. Thank you.

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