What are the Chances of Getting Equal Custody

[qwaspolk69]

No thats not what i said. We are hoping she moves before she starts. He doesnt want primary as he would never take her away from her mom. If she doesnt move then he will have to have a conversation with her because he doesnt want her home schooled since shes been in public stuff since she was 6 weeks old.

What does that matter? Lots of parents have pulled their kids out of public school and homeschooled them when they're in elementary school or even middle school. Some do the opposite and put them in public school after homeschooling. One of my friends homeschooled her kids until a couple years ago. They were like 5-8 or 9 or something like that.

I agree your significant other needs to sign up because you don't seem to have a clue what you're talking about.

[Funnygrl20]

What does that matter? Lots of parents have pulled their kids out of public school and homeschooled them when they're in elementary school or even middle school. Some do the opposite and put them in public school after homeschooling. One of my friends homeschooled her kids until a couple years ago. They were like 5-8 or 9 or something like that.

I agree your significant other needs to sign up because you don't seem to have a clue what you're talking about.

Im not naive. Why are people so friggin rude on here seriously? You come here to get advice not bashed. With her job there is no way she can homeschool. It was just something that was said in court by mom and he said he would argue against that one if it happens. This isnt a set in stone thing. They have shared legal so she cant just do it anyways. That would be a thing worth discussing and due to her age I have said the discussion needs to happen sooner than later because if that is an issue that would be something to hash out with the judge not custody since what he has is the set standard.

[qwaspolk69]

Im not naive. Why are people so friggin rude on here seriously? You come here to get advice not bashed. With her job there is no way she can homeschool. It was just something that was said in court by mom and he said he would argue against that one if it happens. This isnt a set in stone thing. They have shared legal so she cant just do it anyways. That would be a thing worth discussing and due to her age I have said the discussion needs to happen sooner than later because if that is an issue that would be something to hash out with the judge not custody since what he has is the set standard.

No one is being rude - they're being blunt and honest. It's a public forum - the answers you get are "as is." You can't complain about getting free information. How was I being rude either? You made it sound like she'd be a horrible mom for pulling her kid out of public school and homeschooling the kid. It happens quite often. You brought it up not me.

Honestly tell your significant other to sign up because HE is the only one who makes decisions. You don't seem to even have all the facts. He will know his order and everything else. If he won't sign up then that's his own fault. Don't do all the work for him. That is his kid and his responsibility.

I have no clue what your last sentence means either. You got your answer. They aren't getting 50/50. There is no true 50/50 custody. The kid has to have a primary residence somewhere. He's not getting more time than he already has. End of story.

[Dogmatique]

Im not naive. Why are people so friggin rude on here seriously? You come here to get advice not bashed. With her job there is no way she can homeschool. It was just something that was said in court by mom and he said he would argue against that one if it happens. This isnt a set in stone thing. They have shared legal so she cant just do it anyways. That would be a thing worth discussing and due to her age I have said the discussion needs to happen sooner than later because if that is an issue that would be something to hash out with the judge not custody since what he has is the set standard.

You understand that this is absolutely NONE of your legal business, yes?

Good. Remember your place ... because if you don't, the judge will be very happy to remind you.

Thats his concern. The school district they are in there is a lot of gangs and drugs and low test scores. We are hoping they move but we doubt it. Mom says she may homeschool her but she works for the county so i dont know how she will do that. Plus her older brother goes public and she has been in public daycare so far so to homeschool one kid and not the other would show poor motives (more time and control).

Oh gawd ... you have absolutely no clue what you're talking about.

Sit back, stop typing and learn.

[qwaspolk69]

You understand that this is absolutely NONE of your legal business, yes?

Good. Remember your place ... because if you don't, the judge will be very happy to remind you.



Oh gawd ... you have absolutely no clue what you're talking about.

Sit back, stop typing and learn.

^^^^ Like button here

[Funnygrl20]

^^^^ Like button here

Well all i wanted to know is if he would have any chance at getting more time. Answer is what I already knew for the reasons I already had an inkling would be stated. He still wants to finish out the custody trial that was put on hold due to not getting to moms side at the time (5 hrs of him on the stand going over basically nothing important like size of her room and the house we are in). He said it "has to happen" (dont know if that is true or not). He says every time hes been in he gets more time and he wont stop. Its basically taking money from his son and his daughters mouths to persue this at this point and doesnt allow the whole situation to just be what it is. Its his choice. If he wants to keep at it its on him... I am just curious for myself. I know the order very well. Ive been in the stand and in the courtroom. The judge has yet to have a need to put me "in my place". I dont write his emails for him. i dont involve myself in exchanges other than drive the car sometimes. I have encouraged him to go to co parent counseling (which they both refuse to do because it went nowhere) and even paid for it when he was unemployed so he can try to make it less volitile for his kid. So to say i dont know my place i do. I have delt w her spewing lies about me, harassing my workplace, tryung to get me fired, accusing me in court that i lied about my miscarriages and the whole time I stayed quiet. Yes he and I may talk about stuff. I may give him my opinion but he either takes it or doesnt.

[qwaspolk69]

Well all i wanted to know is if he would have any chance at getting more time. Answer is what I already knew for the reasons I already had an inkling would be stated. He still wants to finish out the custody trial that was put on hold due to not getting to moms side at the time (5 hrs of him on the stand going over basically nothing important like size of her room and the house we are in). He said it "has to happen" (dont know if that is true or not). He says every time hes been in he gets more time and he wont stop. Its basically taking money from his son and his daughters mouths to persue this at this point and doesnt allow the whole situation to just be what it is. Its his choice. If he wants to keep at it its on him... I am just curious for myself. I know the order very well. Ive been in the stand and in the courtroom. The judge has yet to have a need to put me "in my place". I dont write his emails for him. i dont involve myself in exchanges other than drive the car sometimes. I have encouraged him to go to co parent counseling (which they both refuse to do because it went nowhere) and even paid for it when he was unemployed so he can try to make it less volitile for his kid. So to say i dont know my place i do. I have delt w her spewing lies about me, harassing my workplace, tryung to get me fired, accusing me in court that i lied about my miscarriages and the whole time I stayed quiet. Yes he and I may talk about stuff. I may give him my opinion but he either takes it or doesnt.

Why in the world did you reply to THAT comment? Honestly your fiancée is the one who should be asking these questions. Not you because you can't do anything about it. He obviously isn't that concerned to take time out of HIS day to ask the questions you are asking. So if he's not going to bother you shouldn't either.

Counseling went nowhere because they're immature that's why. Based on everything you've said they're both immature adults who are acting worse than children.

Yeah my ex husband's first ex would talk shit about me all the time. I let her get to me once. I shouldn't have. You didn't sink to his ex's level. Good job. But that has nothing to do with the question you're asking either. You don't really have a clue what you're talking about based on some of your comments.

It's his kid. His ex. Not yours. Let him deal the way he does and just back out of it. A lot less stress on you.

How has he gotten "more time every time he's been in?" He has a basic parenting plan he's not getting more time than that. Whatever. You got your answer so I don't know why you're still on here commenting. I think you like the drama BUT that's just my view.

[Funnygrl20]

Why in the world did you reply to THAT comment? Honestly your fiancée is the one who should be asking these questions. Not you because you can't do anything about it. He obviously isn't that concerned to take time out of HIS day to ask the questions you are asking. So if he's not going to bother you shouldn't either.

Counseling went nowhere because they're immature that's why. Based on everything you've said they're both immature adults who are acting worse than children.

Yeah my ex husband's first ex would talk shit about me all the time. I let her get to me once. I shouldn't have. You didn't sink to his ex's level. Good job. But that has nothing to do with the question you're asking either. You don't really have a clue what you're talking about based on some of your comments.

It's his kid. His ex. Not yours. Let him deal the way he does and just back out of it. A lot less stress on you.

How has he gotten "more time every time he's been in?" He has a basic parenting plan he's not getting more time than that. Whatever. You got your answer so I don't know why you're still on here commenting. I think you like the drama BUT that's just my view.

I know hes not getting more time. Im stating his response to me when I tell him he wont get much more and will probably get less whe she starts school unless they move. Hes got it good right now.
I just want us to all move on and get this stuff out of the courts because its just keeping issues going vs letting them fade and his kid have a healthy relationship w her parents.. The judge already told the both of them they are way above the typical parents they usually see in court and they asked them to work it out outside their walls because there is really no reason for them to be in there.

[oldsmom]

Why in the world did you reply to THAT comment? Honestly your fiancée is the one who should be asking these questions. Not you because you can't do anything about it. He obviously isn't that concerned to take time out of HIS day to ask the questions you are asking. So if he's not going to bother you shouldn't either.

Funnygirl20, please ignore the bullying. You do have a right to ask questions. Just understand that as a possible step-parent this is what you are signing up for: all the responsibility and none of the actual rights or freedoms (or even a voice) that comes with it. I am a stepmom, and have been in your shoes.

The other posters are correct however. This is your husband's fight and legally you have no rights or even a voice. I have been doing this for over 10 years, and am the primary bread-winner in our blended family. I have no biological kids of my own, but have personally shelled out over $60k defending my husband against his ex wife in court over ongoing child support fights, custody, etc. His ex has tried to get my income included for her support order, and when that failed, showed the kids what I made and told them I was evil for not sharing. She even one time faked a relocation case in order to try to get more custody. That particular stunt was a crazy $15k wasted, and when she realized she might end up having to pay legal fees, she dropped the case.

You are expected to stay silent while you money is spent, your personal time is taken, and your peace and sanity are consumed by a household that has technically nothing to do with you.

You have EVERY RIGHT to ask legal questions because they IMPACT YOU. Just understand that you have no seat at the table, and the information you collect is for informational purposes only.

Step-parenting isn't for the faint of heart.

[Funnygrl20]

Funnygirl20, please ignore the bullying. You do have a right to ask questions. Just understand that as a possible step-parent this is what you are signing up for: all the responsibility and none of the actual rights or freedoms (or even a voice) that comes with it. I am a stepmom, and have been in your shoes.

The other posters are correct however. This is your husband's fight and legally you have no rights or even a voice. I have been doing this for over 10 years, and am the primary bread-winner in our blended family. I have no biological kids of my own, but have personally shelled out over $60k defending my husband against his ex wife in court over ongoing child support fights, custody, etc. His ex has tried to get my income included for her support order, and when that failed, showed the kids what I made and told them I was evil for not sharing. She even one time faked a relocation case in order to try to get more custody. That particular stunt was a crazy $15k wasted, and when she realized she might end up having to pay legal fees, she dropped the case.

You are expected to stay silent while you money is spent, your personal time is taken, and your peace and sanity are consumed by a household that has technically nothing to do with you.

You have EVERY RIGHT to ask legal questions because they IMPACT YOU. Just understand that you have no seat at the table, and the information you collect is for informational purposes only.

Step-parenting isn't for the faint of heart.

Trust me i know. I watched my step dad do it w me and my brother as teens and when my dad and his mom made threats and tried to take us away after practially abandoning us at 5yrs old and 3 yrs old he just supported my mom. Never forced his role or his hand ... even offered to let my dad walk me down the isle at my wedding ( my dad and myself declined that). I have a great example to follow on how to be and not to be. Ive seen his frustration and pain at times. I know how i can and cant be. I have an excellent role model.

My money has been spent and she has tried to include my finances as well. To me it shows the focus isnt on the kids but on revenge. And eventually i hope the courts see it sooner than later.

I know i dont have a seat at the table.. what i find funny is she wants her husband to have more and more of a seat and wants him to take over my fiances role.. even encourages him to.. but if the shoe was on my foot she would have a cow.

We have sat back been silent and not really reacted to much other than when she violates the order or tries to demand he give up his time. He lets her show her true self in court. 5 hours focusing on house size room size money we make and even going so far to say my fiance is too stupid to be able to take of a kid just shows its not about the child but about trying to.hurt him...

But i know as a child of having lived through this that eventually the truth will be seen and it wont be pretty when a child realizes all the hurt their parent tried to do to them.