There's a heck of a lot more consequences than gun ownership with a DV conviction... even though they are usually misdemeanors, a lot of employers view them with the same scorn as a felony. You can also forget about a career in the health sciences or department of human services. Custody battles, family court, and divorce proceedings become a nightmare for anyone accused or convicted of abuse, etc.

OP's situation is the exact reason that many states have taken up mandatory arrest/no drop prosecutions for DV. The case gets flipped to the state, and the victim has no say in decisions to prosecute. Though, there are known tricks that a victim can play to get the state to drop, like if she doesn't show up at pre-trial. Regardless if the wife keeps writing these affidavits seeking nolle prosecution for these heinous crimes, its just going to look like psychological manipulation by the husband which is a further sign of domestic violence. And if one of these days the wife gets killed, well the state is gonna have blood on its hands and its not gonna be a good look.