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  1. #1

    Exclamation Custody and Visitation With A Newborn

    I am having a difficult time trying to find a specific answer for what I need. I am pregnant. I live in NY. I want to file for custody when the baby is born. I understand that therei s legal custody, physical custody, and joint custody. What I am looking for is to be the sole caregiver for the baby but have the father have visitation rights. I do not want it to be joint custody though because then he'll have shared decision making repsonsibilities, which in a short way of putting it-I don't want.

    I want him to be able to see his child and when the baby is old enough, to go over to his home-but when the baby is first born I do not want the baby going over there. Due to breast feeding and whatnot, I think maybe I'm alright in that aspect. The baby will have my last name as well.

    I made a mistake-although my baby is not a mistake, but a miracle. I only dated this guy for 2 months and he's overly emotional. He has not been to any dr's appointments with me, we do not live together and he has not bought one thing in preparation for the baby.

    Can you tell me exactly what I want to file for? I'm so stressed out thinking about this when the baby is due soon. It's difficult to have him decide what color he likes better, much less make decisions about a child.

    I live in NY, if that helps any.

    Thank you very much to anyone who can answer this for me.
    God Bless-

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    5,437

    Default Re: Please help :(

    Q: Can you tell me exactly what I want to file for?

    A: Hire a lawyer now to file for paternity determination, child support, and custody.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Please help :(

    I know this sounds ...off...but I live with my parents right now because I moved home from another state as soon as I found out I was pregnant. He followed. My parents have paid for everything you can imagine to prepare for this baby and are also going through a family tragedy right now. I just can't ask them to pay for a lawyer. Legal aid says there's too much money in the hosuehold for even a consultation. I feel bad enough that I'm 24 and living back home and they've spent all that money to help. I just want to know what kind of custody to file for. I'm sorry if all of this seems jumbled. I suppose this is what I get for having a child with someone I barely knew.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Please help :(

    Quote Quoting fullofquestions12
    View Post
    I know this sounds ...off...but I live with my parents right now because I moved home from another state as soon as I found out I was pregnant. He followed. My parents have paid for everything you can imagine to prepare for this baby and are also going through a family tragedy right now. I just can't ask them to pay for a lawyer. Legal aid says there's too much money in the hosuehold for even a consultation. I feel bad enough that I'm 24 and living back home and they've spent all that money to help. I just want to know what kind of custody to file for. I'm sorry if all of this seems jumbled. I suppose this is what I get for having a child with someone I barely knew.
    You have to expect he will be awarded visitation after paternity is established. As of now he has no rights and or obligations. The visitation will be more limited when the baby is newborn but will increase as the child get older. Breast feeding will not interfere with his visitation, you can pump breast milk. This doesn't need to be a war between the two of you...It will be better for the baby if you both can be reasonable.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Custody and Visitation With A Newborn

    I have no problem with him having visitation. It's just that he will not sit down and make an agreement with me. I told him it is part of preparing for a child when the parents are unmarried.

    I even offered Mondays, Wednesdays and every other weekend. He said no! He said he wants Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I explaoined that's rediculous, with a baby especially and that I can't pump out 4 days worth of milk anyways. He just doesn't get it.

    That is why I am asking. Is there a way for me to file for joint custody by my terms of visitation or is that filing for physical custody or legal custody?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    699

    Default Re: Custody and Visitation With A Newborn

    Quote Quoting fullofquestions12
    View Post
    I have no problem with him having visitation. It's just that he will not sit down and make an agreement with me. I told him it is part of preparing for a child when the parents are unmarried.

    I even offered Mondays, Wednesdays and every other weekend. He said no! He said he wants Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I explaoined that's rediculous, with a baby especially and that I can't pump out 4 days worth of milk anyways. He just doesn't get it.

    That is why I am asking. Is there a way for me to file for joint custody by my terms of visitation or is that filing for physical custody or legal custody?
    It is really not up to you, it is up to the judge to decide once you go to court.

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