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  1. #1

    Default What Happens if a 17-Year-Old Refuses to Stay With a Parent

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana

    My daughter and her father have had a volatile relationship for many years, but recently it has escalated to the point she has developed physical issues such as large weight loss from anxiety, chest pain and anorexia all from anxiety. She has finally had enough and is refusing to go back to his house for anything more than a short visit. We share custody 50/50 and I pay him child support because he makes less than I do. It has been over 30 days and it isn't going to change. She turns 18 in April. I feel like if she is going to be with me full time then I shouldn't have to pay him support, he should be paying me if anything. I am ready to file for a modification, but I need help finding a good attorney. Can anyone offer advice on a Indianapolis, Indiana attorney that is worth the money?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Refusing to Visit

    Alas, it doesn't work that way. You are still the adults and she is still the child. Absent a court approved change, you must make sure she goes to her dads and that you pay your alotted share of support.

    We don't do attorney recommendations here. But frankly, if it's only three months, the two of you really should tough it out (her going to see her father, and you paying) for the next three months.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Refusing to Visit

    Quote Quoting Nursezilla33
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    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana

    My daughter and her father have had a volatile relationship for many years, but recently it has escalated to the point she has developed physical issues such as large weight loss from anxiety, chest pain and anorexia all from anxiety. She has finally had enough and is refusing to go back to his house for anything more than a short visit. We share custody 50/50 and I pay him child support because he makes less than I do. It has been over 30 days and it isn't going to change. She turns 18 in April. I feel like if she is going to be with me full time then I shouldn't have to pay him support, he should be paying me if anything. I am ready to file for a modification, but I need help finding a good attorney. Can anyone offer advice on a Indianapolis, Indiana attorney that is worth the money?
    I am going to tell you right now, if she is going to be 18 in April and graduating in May/June, then you have no chance in Hades of getting anything changed before she ages out of both custody and child support. You just do not have enough time to get a court decision before she ages out. Even the best attorney in the world is not going to save you in child support what the attorney would cost you, even is somehow he could get a ruling in enough time for child support to stop a month or two before she graduates and ages out.

    Now, if she is not going to graduate for another year, then by all means file for a support modification after she turns 18 and is no longer subject to custody orders.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Refusing to Visit

    It is possible to file for modification of custody and support, and to seek modification retroactive to the date of the petition, but there's a legitimate question both of whether it's worth the cost of bringing such a motion (if legal fees will be involved) and whether a court would be inclined to grant the petition as opposed to stating that the petitioner should have continued to enforce the custody order. Once the minor is 18, she can choose where she lives.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: What Happens if a 17-Year-Old Refuses to Stay With a Parent

    I always wonder, as a parent (whose kids have/had difficult relationships with their other parent) - what did you do when this started? When her anxiety-related issues began? What did you do to help your daughter cope?

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    Default Re: What Happens if a 17-Year-Old Refuses to Stay With a Parent

    Quote Quoting Nursezilla33
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    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana

    My daughter and her father have had a volatile relationship for many years, but recently it has escalated to the point she has developed physical issues such as large weight loss from anxiety, chest pain and anorexia all from anxiety. She has finally had enough and is refusing to go back to his house for anything more than a short visit. We share custody 50/50 and I pay him child support because he makes less than I do. It has been over 30 days and it isn't going to change. She turns 18 in April. I feel like if she is going to be with me full time then I shouldn't have to pay him support, he should be paying me if anything. I am ready to file for a modification, but I need help finding a good attorney. Can anyone offer advice on a Indianapolis, Indiana attorney that is worth the money?
    Until she's the age of majority she does what you and her father tell her to do. If she is having such issues have you taken her to counseling? Have you talked to her father about it and suggested he go to counseling with and/or without her?

    Google attorneys in your area with free consultations. But you aren't going to get child support because you are violating the visitation order. In fact, you're lucky he hasn't taken YOU to court for contempt yet.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: What Happens if a 17-Year-Old Refuses to Stay With a Parent

    Quote Quoting qwaspolk69
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    Until she's the age of majority she does what you and her father tell her to do. If she is having such issues have you taken her to counseling? Have you talked to her father about it and suggested he go to counseling with and/or without her?

    Google attorneys in your area with free consultations. But you aren't going to get child support because you are violating the visitation order. In fact, you're lucky he hasn't taken YOU to court for contempt yet.
    Realistically, if dad were here and asking for advice about filing for contempt I would also advise him not to bother. The child is going to be 18 in less than 4 months. The odds of getting a contempt case heard in enough time to do any good at all are slim to none and slim has left the building.

    On top of that if he were to somehow succeed in getting mom sanctioned even after the child turns 18, he is just going to lose all hope of having an adult relationship with his daughter.

    This is basically a no win situation for either parent at this point...and forcing the child, with less than 4 months to go until she is a legal adult would not be in the child's best interest, in my opinion.

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    Default Re: What Happens if a 17-Year-Old Refuses to Stay With a Parent

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Realistically, if dad were here and asking for advice about filing for contempt I would also advise him not to bother. The child is going to be 18 in less than 4 months. The odds of getting a contempt case heard in enough time to do any good at all are slim to none and slim has left the building.

    On top of that if he were to somehow succeed in getting mom sanctioned even after the child turns 18, he is just going to lose all hope of having an adult relationship with his daughter.

    This is basically a no win situation for either parent at this point...and forcing the child, with less than 4 months to go until she is a legal adult would not be in the child's best interest, in my opinion.
    I know but I'm just stating that she's the one who legally is in the wrong by not allowing him visitation for the last month. What BOTH parents should be doing is finding out what is causing her all this anxiety leading to anorexia. That's nothing to play with. She needs some counseling asap if she hasn't already.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: What Happens if a 17-Year-Old Refuses to Stay With a Parent

    Quote Quoting qwaspolk69
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    I know but I'm just stating that she's the one who legally is in the wrong by not allowing him visitation for the last month. What BOTH parents should be doing is finding out what is causing her all this anxiety leading to anorexia. That's nothing to play with. She needs some counseling asap if she hasn't already.
    But I don't think it is the mom not allowing the time but the daughter who refuses to stay.

    She has finally had enough and is refusing to go back to his house for anything more than a short visit.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: What Happens if a 17-Year-Old Refuses to Stay With a Parent

    Quote Quoting SESmama
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    But I don't think it is the mom not allowing the time but the daughter who refuses to stay.
    Most people believe that the custodial parent should have enough control over the child that the custodial parent should be able to order the 17 year old child to go, and she will obey. I personally do not have the same opinion, nor would I attempt to force a 17 year who was having that kind of physical reaction against something, to do it.

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