Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    6

    Default Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: NJ

    9 years ago, I called in DCP&P & alleged that my husband abused our 1 yr old child. Myself/child moved out of husband's house. Based on my statement, court determined that husband had abused child & I was given full legal/physical custody. To stay away from indefinite court processes, my husband chose not to take any visitation with child. Court also gave him 3 yr no contact and probation which he successfully completed 5 yrs ago. Court also told him that in case he needs visitation/custody, he can file petition & they may consider anger/parenting. I lived as single mom and husband also didn't marry and we never divorced.

    I now realize that child is missing family & want to go back to husband. I am ok for my husband to get joint legal custody of child, if possible. Can me & my child go and start living with husband today or since he was the alleged perpetrator in the 9 yr old matter, I cannot go back to him? How can we get together (me, my child and husband)? How can he get child's custody?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    Quote Quoting pegassist
    View Post
    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: NJ

    9 years ago, I called in DCP&P & alleged that my husband abused our 1 yr old child. Myself/child moved out of husband's house. Based on my statement, court determined that husband had abused child & I was given full legal/physical custody. To stay away from indefinite court processes, my husband chose not to take any visitation with child. Court also gave him 3 yr no contact and probation which he successfully completed 5 yrs ago. Court also told him that in case he needs visitation/custody, he can file petition & they may consider anger/parenting. I lived as single mom and husband also didn't marry and we never divorced.

    I now realize that child is missing family & want to go back to husband. I am ok for my husband to get joint legal custody of child, if possible. Can me & my child go and start living with husband today or since he was the alleged perpetrator in the 9 yr old matter, I cannot go back to him? How can we get together (me, my child and husband)? How can he get child's custody?
    You do understand that by going back to the person who was found to have abused your child, you risking losing your child entirely to the foster care system? If you move in with him again and he abuses your child again you will be considered to be equally liable for the abuse.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    8,238

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    You need to sit down with a lawyer to see what will be required to make this work without getting your husband in legal hot water. Without reading the orders the court issued no one can say what contact your husband may have with you and your child at this point. He may need to have the court orders changed before he can do anything.

    But you need to ask yourself an important question: why do you want to get back together with a man who abused your child? How do you know that he won’t engage in more abuse of either you or your child should you return to living with him? Abusive behavior rarely just stops on its own.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    835

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    The way she used the alleged multiple times, it sounds like she lied about it back then. I could be way off, but that was my initial thought when reading that post

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    I am not going to assist someone who wishes to expose their own child to further abuse.

    Frankly, this poor child needs to be someone capable of caring for them.

    Just who ARE you? https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...ht=#post286549

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    671

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    Yeah. This "person" needs to pay a lawyer. And a therapist.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    Quote Quoting pegassist
    View Post
    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: NJ

    9 years ago, I called in DCP&P & alleged that my husband abused our 1 yr old child. Myself/child moved out of husband's house. Based on my statement, court determined that husband had abused child & I was given full legal/physical custody. To stay away from indefinite court processes, my husband chose not to take any visitation with child. Court also gave him 3 yr no contact and probation which he successfully completed 5 yrs ago. Court also told him that in case he needs visitation/custody, he can file petition & they may consider anger/parenting. I lived as single mom and husband also didn't marry and we never divorced.

    I now realize that child is missing family & want to go back to husband. I am ok for my husband to get joint legal custody of child, if possible. Can me & my child go and start living with husband today or since he was the alleged perpetrator in the 9 yr old matter, I cannot go back to him? How can we get together (me, my child and husband)? How can he get child's custody?
    You really think the court will be on board with this after he was found to have abused your child? Your child can see his/her father's side of the family WITHOUT his/her father being in his/her life. Our daughter sees my ex in laws pretty often whether he's there or not.

    Why would you ever want to go near someone who abused your child? I think you need some counseling. Do not go back to that "man."

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    I am not going to assist someone who wishes to expose their own child to further abuse.

    Frankly, this poor child needs to be someone capable of caring for them.

    Just who ARE you? https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...ht=#post286549
    Whoa. That sounds like the "ex" father commented in 2009 using the same user name. This is weird. I got a weird vibe when I read it too.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    You got it right - no abuse had happened but since the matter got in front of the court at that time, I couldn't retract as I was afraid I may get in trouble.

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    I am not going to assist someone who wishes to expose their own child to further abuse.

    Frankly, this poor child needs to be someone capable of caring for them.

    Just who ARE you? https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...ht=#post286549


    As indicated, no abuse ever happened. I was angry back in that time, made an allegation and was stuck and now I am regretting. Hence looking for help.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    Quote Quoting pegassist
    View Post
    You got it right - no abuse had happened but since the matter got in front of the court at that time, I couldn't retract as I was afraid I may get in trouble.


    As indicated, no abuse ever happened. I was angry back in that time, made an allegation and was stuck and now I am regretting. Hence looking for help.
    Hopefully the state will step in and do its job.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    671

    Default Re: Reuniting With a Spouse Who You Left Over Abuse of Your Child

    Why have you been posting as both of you?

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Child Neglect: Misdemeanor Child Abuse Charges After a Babysitter Left My Child Unattended
    By jsparacio in forum Abuse and Neglect
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-02-2016, 12:30 PM
  2. Child Abuse: Abuse Report After Discipline Left Bruises
    By gabbs13 in forum Abuse and Neglect
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-18-2015, 08:12 AM
  3. Custody and Visitation Issues: Custodial Parent is Separated from Spouse and Left Child
    By NYI310 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-07-2012, 10:25 AM
  4. Removal (Deportation) and Reentry: Reuniting Family Act, Can It Help Someone Deported
    By kingflow4u in forum Immigration Issues
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-24-2009, 06:52 AM
  5. Removal (Deportation) and Reentry: Reuniting a Family After a Deportation
    By dkstrong010 in forum Immigration Issues
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 08-15-2008, 08:26 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources