What Does a Court Do With Banking Information Provided for Child Support

[qwaspolk69]

if they have a problem with me addressing what they're saying without name-calling, then i'm glad im not them. i called no names & replied to their disrespect with facts. people telling me 'i have issues' and calling me names i wont repeat.....they shouldnt be a part of a forum like this because they are making it personal. and it makes a person look worse by ASSuming what a situation is without a full story.

i appreciate your response and that's what i will do. i dont have extra 'income' but i do, at times, make more but it's nothing consistent. on the other hand, i do pay the bulk of my son's expenses in addition to support because it's what i want to do.

in my humble opinion, there should be more checks and balances in regards to child support. there are women out there who are not doing the right thing when it comes to the money they receive. im speaking from what i actually know....not opinion. it's not always the father who is the villain.

thank you for your time. happy new year

No you didn't get disrespect. You got facts told to you about how child support works. And I just call them how I see them. You do have issues. Big ones. Calling you names you won't repeat? Seriously?

Yeah we don't have the full story. The FULL story would include the MOTHER'S side of it. We only get YOUR side.

Checks and balances for what? Here you keep going on and on about how there are "women not doing the right thing" and that just shows your sexist attitude because the majority of custodial parents ARE doing the "right thing" and that's taking care of their kids. How do you know where someone is getting the money they get to go get a haircut or nails done? So you're telling me that a single mother should never be able to go get her haircut or nails done or buy some new clothes? Most of us use our own damn money on that. You keep saying you pay the bulk of his expenses but then you say all you pay is his clothes (most of his clothes) and his school lunches. That's not the bulk of the expenses.

How much is your child support a month right now? You have failed to answer that.

You're right the father isn't always the villain AND NEITHER IS THE MOTHER! YOU keep acting like ALL single mothers are just out to stick it to the dad and that's not true. At all.

You are speaking purely from opinion because you keep saying ALL women. Sexist. Misogynistic. That's you. To a "T." You avoid questions. You are hiding money. So you're probably not telling the whole story.

I was not calling names. I was pointing how far from reality your opinion is. If a child is adequately housed, clothed and fed, then the child support is being spent properly.

Brad Pitt is rich. Angelina Jolie is also rich. Do you think that Brad Pitt should not share in the support of his children just because Angelina happens to be rich and therefore could afford to support the children without any assistance? If you answer yes to that question, then you truly do not get it at all.

Oh he was probably whining about what I said.

100% feasible and i agree. but you're adding 1 child into a house that you already have. and let me go as far as to tell you more of my business. not only do i give her extra money, pay my child support & all of his expenses. when she first put me on child support, i was giving her $150 gift card for wal-mart every other week to go shopping. now, how much more do i have to do ABOVE & BEYOND?

as i have said before, she has financial responsibility as well.

Nobody in this forum can tell me im trying to avoid anything or living in a fantasy world. this woman even stooped to the level of only buying him a pack of hot wheels cars($5.99) for christmas because she believes i should buy all of his gifts!

How is she adding a child? I would go to say that she has been caring for that child since she gave birth to him. Right?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ABOVE AND BEYOND!! That's YOUR choice. The court is not making you give her gift cards. The court is not making you do anything except your mandated child support and anything like daycare or medical. So if you CHOOSE to do extra that's your dumbass fault.

As I have said you have not said once how she isn't paying her share. I honestly don't believe a word you say based on your opinion of all single mothers.

How about this? Don't give her extra money that you aren't ordered to so. If you do, make sure you send it through the state or that it's noted by the state. Because the more money you give her outside what is court ordered those are considered gifts. GIFTS. Not child support.

Perhaps you should Google child support and see what it's meant to be used for and what it means to the law.

You wanted an answer and I gave it to you - if the court finds out that you LIED about your income you're going to get in trouble. That's the bottomline. That's what you asked. That's what will happen.

Truth be told, what happens to the money you pay is none of your business. That's not how child support works.

Your money helps pay for utilities, housing, food, gas for the car, and myriad other expenses that your child benefits from.

If she buys fur coats, Coach handbags, and the fancy shoe of
the day is just none of your business. The state calculates child support based on both parents incomes and the time the child spends with each parent. You earn more, you pay more.

you have proved yourself a criminal and a weasel. It's obvious you don't have what it takes to be a father other than the ability to procreate

Oh man can we get a like button added to this site??? ^^^^^ LIKE

when did i say i shouldnt share in the assistance? i OVERDO because i respect the fact that she has to take care of my son most of the time.

but she does not want assistance....she wants the cash in her hand. when im paying for all of his expenses PLUS giving you a gift card for food shopping, and giving you extra money every month(have given her between $100-$300 extra monthly)....what is your complaint?

her response to the gift card was......'i dont need your handouts. this isnt a soup kitchen.!' now i know what your agenda is because when i tell women i know she said that, they laugh & tell me she's crazy. she doesnt want 'assistance'. she wants CASH.....thats greed to me. im sorry.

Who the hell are you responding to? Stop overdoing it. That's not your responsibility to do more. You're only giving her gifts. I wouldn't take a gift card from my ex because he most likely stole it. So you can't say what "most women" would say.

you sound like a teenager. no need for me to respond to u. my son has a portfolio and im proud of that because i didnt have any investments until i was almost 38.

on top of that.....let me tell u about a FATHER which i am. like many, i lost my job after the recession in '08. my son was born in '10. in '11, it was over & i had to move out. couldn't hold myself up with odd jobs and was HOMELESS...literally sleeping where i could outside. yet, i managed to see my son every single day, and never took a dime out of his bank account for myself. now im doing better but instead of me buying a car, moving into an apartment of my own and spending money on me, i moved back in with my mother to wait and in the meantime i take most of what i make and put into 1 of several mutual funds, his 529 plan, cd's and bonds for him so i can make sure i give him a solid foundation JUST IN CASE.....so he can have somewhat of a headstart in the future if im not around. FATHER!

well i do keep his toys with me but i do make sure he has clothing wise with her as well.

after this action, i'll agree to an increase because i know she'll throw that in my face in court. after this court date and an increase, there will be no more favors from me. just what the court orders and that's it.

^^^^ DING DING DING there you go you finally got it. You don't owe HER any favors. At all. You aren't doing her any favors anyway.

[jumanji]

Dads aren't the only ones that don't understand this. For me, mom's reason for not giving me money in the beginning was so that I "don't spend it on another bitch". From that point I said, "fine" but it'll come back on her one day. After we split, she gave a $50 to $100 for a few sporadic months but once I started dating again, I all of sudden didn't need her money so it would have been extra

Selfish parents come in both genders.

But, it does come back on them. My youngest got engaged last night. They've been together going on five years. He's never even met Dad - he asked me for permission. Sadly, I doubt Dad will be invited to the festivities, but his mum will likely now find out they're estranged. Oops.

[qwaspolk69]

yes

You're bitching about $300 a month! LMAO! Omg you're a real piece of work. $300 a month you think that covers much? Of anything?

[jumanji]

you sound like a teenager. no need for me to respond to u. my son has a portfolio and im proud of that because i didnt have any investments until i was almost 38.

on top of that.....let me tell u about a FATHER which i am. like many, i lost my job after the recession in '08. my son was born in '10. in '11, it was over & i had to move out. couldn't hold myself up with odd jobs and was HOMELESS...literally sleeping where i could outside. yet, i managed to see my son every single day, and never took a dime out of his bank account for myself. now im doing better but instead of me buying a car, moving into an apartment of my own and spending money on me, i moved back in with my mother to wait and in the meantime i take most of what i make and put into 1 of several mutual funds, his 529 plan, cd's and bonds for him so i can make sure i give him a solid foundation JUST IN CASE.....so he can have somewhat of a headstart in the future if im not around. FATHER!

well i do keep his toys with me but i do make sure he has clothing wise with her as well.

after this action, i'll agree to an increase because i know she'll throw that in my face in court. after this court date and an increase, there will be no more favors from me. just what the court orders and that's it.

I can tell you that the court will not likely be impressed with your son's "portfolio", and rather expect you to pay that money in child support. Perhaps you don't realize thar CS is a *reimbursement* for what the custodial parent has paid out in expenses. So, if you see Mom spending money on herself? It's because she already spent the money on the kid.

As for "favors"? No one is telling you to give extra. Both of mine knew their Dad paid CS, though not the amount. But that he paid and it provided them with the necessities. If extras were called for? I figured out how to pay for them. I didn't have to say it, but they saw it in my extra hours, my crunching numbers at night, etc. In my waiting for a early pension distribution check so I could pay their college tuition to allow them to register. Did you know that, in NY, you can be ordered to pay that? My ex was, and he didn't. Oh well. My kids know how I sacrificed (as does my daughter's fiance - 'cause I pulled extra money to pay off his last semester when his parents wouldn't). All three have told me not to worry - they will take care of me. Why? Because that's how family works. Maybe you should learn that lesson. Or you may be in my ex's shoes. He has little feet, so they might be tight.

Seriously - we have two children, and both are estranged from their father. All by his doing. Think carefully how you want the future to play out with your son.

[Mark47n]

Well, I must say that this is a fascinating conversation!

Stop being so proud that your taking care of your kid. That's what you're supposed to do. It's the expectation, you don't get to say that you're super awesome for meeting the expectation.

Given that raising a child to 18, currently, costs $250K in round numbers, and that just meeting basic requirements, not to include school activities etc. If you're paying $300/mo that comes out to $3600/yr, over 18 years this comes to $64,800 which is 25.92% of that basic total In order for you to even approach 50% of the projected cost your CS would have to double. To reiterate, that amount, $250K, is to meet the basic requirements, no sports, trips, cell phones, daycare, cars, medical insurance, etc. So, you can see that the sum that you're on the hook for in the CS agreement is chump change.

If you're working under the table in order to stave off a potential increase in CS you're not meeting your obligation (see above).

My personal take is that you, like so many men in your position, have a serious axe to grind with the mother of your son. You want people to be impressed that you're exceeding the bare minimum. Well good for you! You only suck a little less than those who meet only the minimum requirements of them. I say this a a former step father who had to deal with the likes of you, the man who did the bare minimum and wanted kudos for it while my earnings and time went into raising the kids (spare me the step parent lecture, for those that are incensed that a step father should get so involved). Please review the simple arithmetic above. I'd wager that the percentage that your contributing will be even less than that by the time you kid is 18 due to inflation and whether your CS obligations rises or not.

Forgive me, I cannot find my violin.

[qwaspolk69]

Well, I must say that this is a fascinating conversation!

Stop being so proud that your taking care of your kid. That's what you're supposed to do. It's the expectation, you don't get to say that you're super awesome for meeting the expectation.

Given that raising a child to 18, currently, costs $250K in round numbers, and that just meeting basic requirements, not to include school activities etc. If you're paying $300/mo that comes out to $3600/yr, over 18 years this comes to $64,800 which is 25.92% of that basic total In order for you to even approach 50% of the projected cost your CS would have to double. To reiterate, that amount, $250K, is to meet the basic requirements, no sports, trips, cell phones, daycare, cars, medical insurance, etc. So, you can see that the sum that you're on the hook for in the CS agreement is chump change.

If you're working under the table in order to stave off a potential increase in CS you're not meeting your obligation (see above).

My personal take is that you, like so many men in your position, have a serious axe to grind with the mother of your son. You want people to be impressed that you're exceeding the bare minimum. Well good for you! You only suck a little less than those who meet only the minimum requirements of them. I say this a a former step father who had to deal with the likes of you, the man who did the bare minimum and wanted kudos for it while my earnings and time went into raising the kids (spare me the step parent lecture, for those that are incensed that a step father should get so involved). Please review the simple arithmetic above. I'd wager that the percentage that your contributing will be even less than that by the time you kid is 18 due to inflation and whether your CS obligations rises or not.

Forgive me, I cannot find my violin.

LMAO!

Best comment on this so far.