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  1. #1
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    Oct 2016
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    Default Will a Judge Order Overnight Visits for an 11-Year-Old Child

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Georgia. Will a judge typically deny overnight visits for an 11yr old?

    I filed for Divorce in May 2016 following the demise of my marriage. My husband & I were married in 1996. The marriage slowly fell apart. I asked him to move out may times from May 2015 to February 2016. I told him I was unhappy and wanted a divorce; however, we could not afford a divorce. I felt stuck. I moved out in February 2016. It was extremely hard, I didn't want to leave my kids. But i also could not stay there any longer. He was verbally abusive and i was unhappy and crying all of the time. I moved in with a friend initially.

    I met someone in October 2015 and we dated until he asked me to move in with him in April 2016. We are now in a committed relationship and I have been living with him since. (7mos) We have arranged visitation where I get the kids every other weekend. I currently do not have overnight visits. The only reason I agreed to that now is because I knew we were eventually going to mediation and possibly court and i was hoping we would come to some type of agreement. But I get my son (11yrs) Saturday 9am-8pm and Sunday 11a-8p. My daughter is 15 and very involved in her school and band. So I do not force visitation on her.

    however, my husband has refused overnights. He is very religious and does not think that our kids should see us "sleeping together" when we are not married. He is obviously mad and bitter that I left him and have found someone else. He doesn't want the kids around my boyfriend at all.

    My daughter has had a hard time with everything, so I do not force visitation on her. i always ask & invite, but I allow her to decide what she wants to do.

    My son loves coming over to my house. He has not wanted to spend the night because it is still new to him as well, and I have not forced the issue. Although I have said that I would love for him to spend the night at some point.

    I want the right to overnights during my visitation. I am not asking for full custody. I am asking for joint legal custody with every other weekend vistation and shared holidays. I do not see how any of that will work if I am not granted overnights. I am not asking for the house to be sold, only refinanced so that the kids do not have to move or change schools. I feel that I am being more than fair. Yes, I moved out and met someone else. I have acknowledged that. But my husband seems to think that the judge will side with him (morality clause) and not allow me overnights.

    Is it likely that the judge will take his side?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    I think the bigger problem is that you're not using all of the time you already have. You're choosing to not exercise your time ... why should the court give you more time?

    Ah - hang on. Is there actually a current order in place?

  3. #3
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    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    You've got to watch out here and move carefully. You're in the bible belt and some judges will side with your ex husband. The southern states are real big on no paramour orders. If they order it, he's leaving the house while you're visiting with your kids.
    If you wanted babies all to yourself, you should have created them by yourself. Until you do that, children have the right to BOTH parents, especially since you found them suitable to procreate with.

  4. #4
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    Oct 2016
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    Yes, there is already an order in place. Just regarding visitation. I agreed that I would not pursue visitation during the process leading up to our court date, but that it was something that i definitely wanted and was going to ask for. I was trying to make it as less stressful for the kids as possible. We were already fighting and arguing & it was just an ugly situation. I didn't want it to be any more traumatic until the final court order.

    Yes, unfortunately I am in the bible belt. I'm just hoping I get an unpartial judge that will take everything into consideration. The fact that I was the primary caregiver for the past 15 years.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    It doesn't matter that you were the primary caregiver. Truly, it doesn't matter a single bit at this point. Not one bit.

    What does matter is that you're not currently using the time you already do have, and you're living with someone to whom you're not marred, in the middle of the Bible Belt. You have to understand how that looks ... you know?

  6. #6
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    Mar 2016
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    The judge is going to look at that you left the kids with their dad. He's been the primary caregiver. You got hooked up with someone else while you were still married. In the Bible Belt - as they have all stated.

    If you have a visitation order in effect right now through the court your kids have to come see you if you are taking advantage of it. So if it's your day, they come see you. They don't really get a choice right now. I wouldn't want to force my kid but the more you give her a choice the more your relationship tears apart.

  7. #7
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    It doesn't matter that you were the primary caregiver. Truly, it doesn't matter a single bit at this point. Not one bit.

    What does matter is that you're not currently using the time you already do have, and you're living with someone to whom you're not marred, in the middle of the Bible Belt. You have to understand how that looks ... you know?
    I am confused. How is she not using the time she already has? Its true that she is not forcing her daughter to visit, but she is asking about her son.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    I am confused. How is she not using the time she already has? Its true that she is not forcing her daughter to visit, but she is asking about her son.
    I'm sure a judge will be equally impressed by Mom choosing one child over the other.

    L, come on. You've said the exact same thing I have here, to fathers, on BOTH forums. Why are you not saying this to Mom?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    I'm sure a judge will be equally impressed by Mom choosing one child over the other.

    L, come on. You've said the exact same thing I have here, to fathers, on BOTH forums. Why are you not saying this to Mom?
    This situation is one that I do not really remember addressing...where a parent takes their full time with the younger child but lets the teenager decide, from the NCP's perspective. Most of the time when that scenario has been discussed its been the custodial parent wanting to allow the teen to not visit the NCP. Which is of course, wrong. I am not really against an NCP giving a teenager leeway. Sometimes its the best way to protect the relationship on a long term basis.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    Default Re: Will a Judge Typically Grant Overnights for My 11yr Old

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    This situation is one that I do not really remember addressing...where a parent takes their full time with the younger child but lets the teenager decide, from the NCP's perspective. Most of the time when that scenario has been discussed its been the custodial parent wanting to allow the teen to not visit the NCP. Which is of course, wrong. I am not really against an NCP giving a teenager leeway. Sometimes its the best way to protect the relationship on a long term basis.
    So custodial parents shouldn't give leeway but noncustodial parents should? That's odd.

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