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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    138

    Default Why Might a Parent Stop Paying Support When He Can Afford the Payments

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA
    In reference to: http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=202172

    I am not sure if that makes any sense. My ex has been paying child support through social services since Jan 2016. He might have been late a day or two but never actually missed a payment. We are going to court on the 18th because he appealed a new child support order that he was serviced with in September. Now he has not paid child support and when I asked when he was going to pay he told me when he has money for it. He gets paid on the 5th and 20th. The check on the 5th is always 2-3x bigger then then one on the 20th. Now my rent check bounced because I still did not have the money available. I am talking to the management in regards to taking care of rent next week so I am not too worried about this. Here is my question though, is it possible he is not paying child support on purpose, trying to show that he has trouble keeping up with the support as it is to avoid having to pay more ?? Unfortunately I depend on his support to pay either her daycare or rent as both are due the same time.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    Quote Quoting kathak
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA
    In reference to: http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=202172

    I am not sure if that makes any sense. My ex has been paying child support through social services since Jan 2016. He might have been late a day or two but never actually missed a payment. We are going to court on the 18th because he appealed a new child support order that he was serviced with in September. Now he has not paid child support and when I asked when he was going to pay he told me when he has money for it. He gets paid on the 5th and 20th. The check on the 5th is always 2-3x bigger then then one on the 20th. Now my rent check bounced because I still did not have the money available. I am talking to the management in regards to taking care of rent next week so I am not too worried about this. Here is my question though, is it possible he is not paying child support on purpose, trying to show that he has trouble keeping up with the support as it is to avoid having to pay more ?? Unfortunately I depend on his support to pay either her daycare or rent as both are due the same time.
    We cannot tell you what your ex is thinking, or wanting to do. The truth is that sometimes people simply won't pay child support as ordered. This means that no custodial parent should ever rely on receiving child support - specially if that parent ends up with rent or utilities going unpaid.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    Right, you cannot tell me that. I was wondering if a lawyer would or could recommend to him not to pay his support to show or proof hardship on his site?
    I think I learned my lesson and I am trying to find a way that it wont happen again.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    Quote Quoting kathak
    View Post
    Right, you cannot tell me that. I was wondering if a lawyer would or could recommend to him not to pay his support to show or proof hardship on his site?
    I think I learned my lesson and I am trying to find a way that it wont happen again.
    Unless the amount deviates substantially from guideline support, not paying to prove hardship is not going to endear him to a judge. His expenses really don't count for much - he'd be expected to downsize, not force his child to go with less support.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    thank you! I guess then he is just being a jerk about this.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    I seriously recommend that BOTH of you downsize. You need cheaper childcare and a cheaper place to live as to rely on your income only. He needs to downsize as to be able to support his child(ren). If he got hit by a bus tomorrow, you'd be screwed and homeless and no one is promised tomorrow so I'm serious about being hit by the bus.
    If you wanted babies all to yourself, you should have created them by yourself. Until you do that, children have the right to BOTH parents, especially since you found them suitable to procreate with.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    Never depend on child support to pay bills. If it shows up it's a nice bonus. But I definitely don't rely on child support (considering it's less than $90 a month anyway). The two months I got $25 a week for those two months it just went into the account I set up for our daughter anyway. I'm pretty sure I'll never see child support, half of daycare or half of unreimbursed medical ever.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    Downsizing is not possible, I live in a one bedroom apartment with my daughter. We pay less rent then others as of now because I live in an Affordable Dwelling unit. Next year I will have to start paying regular rent because my income plus child support puts me over the limit for ADU rent. We live in an extremely high cost of living area and he is not going to move away from here because his family lives here. Which bounds me to the area as well. I certainly learned my lesson and will make changes to that.


    @qwaspolk69 I am getting much more child support then that. I do get that with 90 bucks a months I wouldnt be worried about it. But it is a big chunk. Thank you though!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    Quote Quoting kathak
    View Post
    Downsizing is not possible, I live in a one bedroom apartment with my daughter. We pay less rent then others as of now because I live in an Affordable Dwelling unit. Next year I will have to start paying regular rent because my income plus child support puts me over the limit for ADU rent. We live in an extremely high cost of living area and he is not going to move away from here because his family lives here. Which bounds me to the area as well. I certainly learned my lesson and will make changes to that.


    @qwaspolk69 I am getting much more child support then that. I do get that with 90 bucks a months I wouldnt be worried about it. But it is a big chunk. Thank you though!
    I never said I don't worry about it. I said that I don't depend on it. I don't rely on it. He's also supposed to pay half of daycare which half would be $400 a month. I don't get it. Half of unreimbursed medical. Which she has no more copays since she's been on Medicaid but she has a dental surgery coming up and after insurance that's gonna be $200 or so. I won't get half of that.

    My point is as stated you can't rely on child support. You have to pay your bills without factoring it in. If you get it - then it's like a bonus to help take care of your kid.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Not Paying Child Support on Purpose to Avoid Paying More

    I do understand what you are saying. Thank you!

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