So are you just saying no to the travel to punish mom? Perhaps compromising and allowing the travel will encourage her to compromise with you?
Seriously, if you had said something along the lines of I am genuinely concerned she won't bring her back, or something like that, that would be one thing, but none of your reasons are about the child, and are about you being upset with Mom's behavior and not having control. I don't think the drama is as one sided as you think, and you both (Mom included), will need to learn how to work together if you want any of this drama to go away.

