By the way, the allergy clinic very likely violated federal law in disclosing your step-son's medical information to you. Although you may not like hearing this, since you are not his mother you should stay out of this sort of thing. It will only inflame the ex and make things even harder. Your husband is the father, and it's up to him to deal with things like the medical needs of his kid. I know you probably just want to help your husband out, but I've seen too many situations in which the “helpful” step-parent oversteps his/her role and makes the relationships involved worse rather than better to know that it doesn’t often work out well.