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    Default Statutory Rape by an Uncle

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: New york, Long Island, suffolk county.

    So my sister and I just found out, her daughter, at age 15, slept with our OTHER sister's husband. (she is just about 20 now). Our Brother In Law. It happened first when she was 15 and again when she was 18. (i'm wondering if it happened more than twice... but who knows at this point.) My sister's ex husband wants to nail this guy to the cross. My sister called the local precinct and asked what to do and was told my niece would have to press charges since she is now almost 20. My sister's ex husband is looking to nail our BIL to the cross and wants him to rot in jail. He has already bought our neice a plane ticket back to NY to press charges. We are not really sure our niece wants to actually press charges. She is very immature for her age. so at 15 she was prob. like a 13 yr old.

    Most of my questions are... where do we start? how do we proceed? If my niece does not want to press charges then what? nothing? I agree it was really really stupid on my BIL's part to do this, whether my niece was willing or not (and there was no violence involved, while my niece may have been talked into it, from what my sister says she wasn't coerced or forced). if she presses charges, do the police arrest my BIL first? is there court, a trial and all that fancy stuff? I have NEVER dealt with anything like this in my life, nor in our family so even tho I watch a lot of legal and cop shows... I know nothing of our judicial system.

    Thank you for any advice.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    Are you defending your BIL? REALLY?

  3. #3

    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    OH GOSH NO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! But that wasn't the point of my post, I was asking from a legal standpoint, what next? Is this all in my niece's hands since she's 19 now? Is my ex BIL's hands tied because of that?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    Quote Quoting JustMe10628634
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    OH GOSH NO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! But that wasn't the point of my post, I was asking from a legal standpoint, what next? Is this all in my niece's hands since she's 19 now? Is my ex BIL's hands tied because of that?
    You mention plane tickets to come to NY. Could you tell us where the alleged incident/s took place?


    Your sister's ex also needs to calm his jets ... this guy isn't going to "rot in hell" because of this. A fair question to him may be, "Where were you and what did YOU do to protect your child?". If the girl is developmentally delayed, there's an even greater duty to care and protect.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    The complaint to the police or prosecutor will be evaluated to determine if there is sufficient evidence to warrant prosecution. The problem here is that likely the only admissible evidence would be the testimony of the niece, and that means she’d have to be willing to tell the police what happened and make the complaint, and then be willing to testify to it again at trial later (if the case got that far). And that assumes the prosecutor believes her testimony would be strong enough to convict. Given that it has been now five years since the sexual encounter occurred, the fading of memory since that time and the problems it presents in the police being able to investigate and get any corroborating evidence makes it less compelling now than had the complaint been made soon after the encounter.

    Assuming that charges are brought, he would be arrested and charged, and would sit in jail until trial unless he gets bail or makes a plea deal, and a plea deal or a conviction might end up getting him jail or prison time anyway, though any time he sat in jail waiting for trial would be credited against his sentence.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    You mention plane tickets to come to NY. Could you tell us where the alleged incident/s took place?


    Your sister's ex also needs to calm his jets ... this guy isn't going to "rot in hell" because of this. A fair question to him may be, "Where were you and what did YOU do to protect your child?". If the girl is developmentally delayed, there's an even greater duty to care and protect.
    No offense but you are coming across as if you are on the BIL's side, and I KNOW that is not true.

    I think its pretty clear that everybody is just now finding out that this happened, which is not unusual at all. The reality of things is that people trust the members of their family with their children, and that includes the spouses of the members of the child's family. Nobody expects that an uncle in law is going to rape a 15 year old niece in law...and legally, in every state, its going to be statutory rape at least. People trust family and that is why its so devastating when it turns out that the trust was misplaced.

    I cannot say that I wouldn't be having fantasies about castration in a similar situation.

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    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    No offense but you are coming across as if you are on the BIL's side, and I KNOW that is not true.

    I think its pretty clear that everybody is just now finding out that this happened, which is not unusual at all. The reality of things is that people trust the members of their family with their children, and that includes the spouses of the members of the child's family. Nobody expects that an uncle in law is going to rape a 15 year old niece in law...and legally, in every state, its going to be statutory rape at least. People trust family and that is why its so devastating when it turns out that the trust was misplaced.

    I cannot say that I wouldn't be having fantasies about castration in a similar situation.
    Wow.

  8. #8

    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    You mention plane tickets to come to NY. Could you tell us where the alleged incident/s took place?


    Your sister's ex also needs to calm his jets ... this guy isn't going to "rot in hell" because of this. A fair question to him may be, "Where were you and what did YOU do to protect your child?". If the girl is developmentally delayed, there's an even greater duty to care and protect.
    Thank you for your reply.

    My niece isn't developmentally delayed, she's just immature.

    I agree about the ex-BIL. I wonder if he's more mad at himself than my BIL. My niece used to go over there often to babysit her younger cousins. The incident took place in NY but she now lives in florida for the last year. I haven't talked to my sister yet about any new "developments" but will do so in the next day or two as she is away right now.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    If he is convicted or takes a plea, he will have to register as a sex offender.

  10. #10

    Default Re: B-I-L Slept W/ 15 Year Old Niece

    Quote Quoting Taxing Matters
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    The complaint to the police or prosecutor will be evaluated to determine if there is sufficient evidence to warrant prosecution. The problem here is that likely the only admissible evidence would be the testimony of the niece, and that means she’d have to be willing to tell the police what happened and make the complaint, and then be willing to testify to it again at trial later (if the case got that far). And that assumes the prosecutor believes her testimony would be strong enough to convict. Given that it has been now five years since the sexual encounter occurred, the fading of memory since that time and the problems it presents in the police being able to investigate and get any corroborating evidence makes it less compelling now than had the complaint been made soon after the encounter.

    Assuming that charges are brought, he would be arrested and charged, and would sit in jail until trial unless he gets bail or makes a plea deal, and a plea deal or a conviction might end up getting him jail or prison time anyway, though any time he sat in jail waiting for trial would be credited against his sentence.

    Thank you for that great response. :-) This is exactly what I thought would happen... and this could all take years. (I think so anyway).

    My niece supposedly has texts on her ipad. IDk if texts are admissible in court or as preliminary evidence. It hasn't worked in a long time so she's going to get the battery changed and see where that goes. My sister feels that if they can't get the ipad to work she should drop it. My ex BIL will not leave my niece alone for pressing charges. My sister knows this and I agree.. this will only push my niece away. It's funny because my ex BIL was very protective of my niece, over protective. Well...look at what all that over protectiveness did... pushed his daughter right into bed w/ her Uncle! THAT'S why I think my exBIL is so mad... he's mad at himself for his life's decisions concerning his daughter.

    Ok, enough Dr. Phil stuff....

    So that's where we're at now... niece is trying to fix laptop. However... my OTHER sister (there's 4 of us total) and I, both agree our niece will not press charges. My sister and exBIL think this has messed up my niece. Like totally destroyed her. and I'm going to go there and say this:. She has ALWAYS had a crush on my BIL. since she was little. BIL is not blood relation. She viewed him more as a friend than an uncle. (BIL may have been putting out vibes at some point.. and shouldn't have been-- I'M NOT DEFENDING HIS ACTIONS) BUT....... knowing my niece, knowing the situation I'm going to say that this didn't mess her up any more than it would "mess up" a 15 yr old boy losing his virginity to an older woman... This is my somewhat self-taught educated opinion of the situation. This was not a parent who broke that level of trust. it was not a blood relative. Again ***I'M NOT DEFENDING MY BIL****... this should have NEVER happened.

    And my sister JUST said now, that she told her ex that she didn't feel right letting her daughter hang around our BIL so much, they even went to concerts together and the exBIL said he wasn't concerned and it was fine. My sister felt because she wasn't the custodial parent (my niece grew up w/ my exBIL) she has no rights and couldn't do anything. While she COULD take her exBIL to court for custody she would have to prove the home was unfit for our niece to live and that also would be a long drawn out process.

    It makes even more sense why my exBIL is so mad..... he ignored my sister and it all blew up in his face.

    Ok, don't kick me off the forum for my above comment... LOL.. Thank you for reading my long posts.

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