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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    Post Where Should Exchanges of the Child Between Parents Occur for Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: PA

    Court order says pick up child everyother fri at 3pm not where but father only want get child from school even when child not in school from school.

    Weds from after school so father think it has to be only at school. Dinner visit on Monday dad doesn't have the weekend but dad think it's the following. Monday not that cureton Monday.

  2. #2
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    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Choosing Locations for Exchange of the Child Between Parents

    Quote Quoting Nezlegal
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    Court order says pick up child everyother fri at 3pm not where but father only want get child from school even when child not in school from school.
    I cannot see the order from where I'm sitting. If you and dad agree that exchanges should occur at the child's school, whether explicitly or through an established pattern of conduct, then it's reasonable for that to continue. Absent an agreement or established practice, if all the custody order provides is that dad pick up the child, then you can reasonably assert that on days when the child is not in school that the pickup should occur from your home. If you share facts about why the father does not want to pick up the child from your home, or the distance between your home and school, it may be more possible to make constructive suggestions.
    Quote Quoting Nezlegal
    Dinner visit on Monday dad doesn't have the weekend but dad think it's the following. Monday not that cureton Monday.
    Please translate those statements into something that is understandable. Thanks.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    3

    Default Re: Choosing Locations for Exchange of the Child Between Parents

    Dad has Dinner visit on a Monday evening On the week that dad does not have the weekend. I say it's for that week but dad says its for the following Monday .

    Dad and I can't agree on a location. If child not in school then he can't pick up from school he has to pick up at our secondary location.since child is already in my care that day. But dad wants me to put the child in school that day even when I'm able to care for child myself that day.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Choosing Locations for Exchange of the Child Between Parents

    Quote Quoting Nezlegal
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    Dad has Dinner visit on a Monday evening On the week that dad does not have the weekend. I say it's for that week but dad says its for the following Monday .
    I am sorry but that still doesn't entirely make sense. Does dad think that he gets every Monday for a dinner visit? Or does dad think that he gets a Monday visit following the weekend YOU have the child, and you think its the opposite? Give us some context here.

    Dad and I can't agree on a location. If child not in school then he can't pick up from school he has to pick up at our secondary location.since child is already in my care that day. But dad wants me to put the child in school that day even when I'm able to care for child myself that day.
    What do your court orders say? I assume we are not talking about regular school but rather daycare or preschool? A judge is not going to require you to send the child to daycare or preschool on a day you are not working, just so that dad can pick up the child there.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    3

    Default Re: Choosing Locations for Exchange of the Child Between Parents

    Dad knows he gets dinner visits. But he thinks it's on the following Monday after the weekend I have child. Order says on a Monday during the week father does not have child.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    1,421

    Default Re: Choosing Locations for Exchange of the Child Between Parents

    Quote Quoting Nezlegal
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    Dad knows he gets dinner visits. But he thinks it's on the following Monday after the weekend I have child. Order says on a Monday during the week father does not have child.
    Is this a hill to die on?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Default Re: Choosing Locations for Exchange of the Child Between Parents

    Think about the reason for the Mon dinner visit; it is to make sure there is not a long time between visits. If it is as you claim that he would get the Mon after his weekend, on your weekends he would not see the child from the time he returns the child to you Wed he picks the child up the next Wed. With him getting the child on the Mon after your weekend, the longest he would not see the child is 5 days rather than 7.

    Why would you argue about this? It is unreasonable for you to have a 7 day period where he has no access to the child when he is within commuting distance. It is reasonable for him to have a weekly weeknight visit; in your case this is on Wed. Put both proposals on a calendar and decide which is better for the child.

    It is quite understandable that your child's father does not want to pick up at your home if there have been confrontations there. While you would not need to put child in school, you could certainly meet at the school ( a very public place) for the transfer. Would you rather it be at the police station?

    You really need to put yourself in his place. Would you be happy if you had to keep the schedule you want to impose on him?

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