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  1. #1
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    Aug 2016
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    Angry How to Make Sure You Get Primary Custody in a Divorce

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY

    My friends husband is abusive, no bruises but threatens to hit her and has put his hands around her neck a few times and made her scared. He is controlling, jealous, and mentally abusive as well. She wants to leave him but loves her son and knows he is unfit to have 50% custody. He has anger issues, he’s controlling and abusive and he smokes pot and is very lazy in general (no activity with child just TV). He also exposes the child to harmful video games (the child is three) and other bad choices. He does nothing for the child like cook or clean him or get him ready for bed and is not involved until his mom wants to go somewhere all of a sudden he uses his son as a way to control her. Anyway, she wants to leave but doesn't have money to meet with lawyers to gain full custody. Another twist- he is not the biological father as he had sperm issues and she used a donor. She was forced by him to keep it a secret (only I know) otherwise he said he would kill her. His name is on the birth records, as she had no choice, she was threatened. Every time she tries to speak with him and offer to see a mediator for a divorce he says he will demand 50% custody. He uses this beautiful boy as a way to keep her in this abusive marriage. NY is considered a child state and she is terrified if she leaves, the courts would give him 50% custody and she can't take that chance. She has no money to consult a lawyer- he controls the money and they make enough to pay their bills. I told her someone must be able to help- any help out there??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: How to Make Sure You Get Primary Custody in a Divorce

    Quote Quoting catvaz
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY

    My friends husband is abusive, no bruises but threatens to hit her and has put his hands around her neck a few times and made her scared. He is controlling, jealous, and mentally abusive as well. She wants to leave him but loves her son and knows he is unfit to have 50% custody. He has anger issues, he’s controlling and abusive and he smokes pot and is very lazy in general (no activity with child just TV). He also exposes the child to harmful video games (the child is three) and other bad choices. He does nothing for the child like cook or clean him or get him ready for bed and is not involved until his mom wants to go somewhere all of a sudden he uses his son as a way to control her. Anyway, she wants to leave but doesn't have money to meet with lawyers to gain full custody. Another twist- he is not the biological father as he had sperm issues and she used a donor. She was forced by him to keep it a secret (only I know) otherwise he said he would kill her. His name is on the birth records, as she had no choice, she was threatened. Every time she tries to speak with him and offer to see a mediator for a divorce he says he will demand 50% custody. He uses this beautiful boy as a way to keep her in this abusive marriage. NY is considered a child state and she is terrified if she leaves, the courts would give him 50% custody and she can't take that chance. She has no money to consult a lawyer- he controls the money and they make enough to pay their bills. I told her someone must be able to help- any help out there??
    You are her friend - right? Come up with a plan to help her leave. There are shelters and plenty of places to allow women to go to in these situations.

    She can then go find any number of lawyers who do free consultations.

    If he is legally established as the father he is the father. Regardless of biology. So he will have rights.

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