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  1. #1
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    Aug 2016
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    Default Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

    My sons father lives an hour away so i drive half way and he drives half way every other weekend for visitation. The last time my son has gone and seen his dad was the weekend of May 27, 2016. He is either working, (OTR truck driver), or he is busy or my son has an outing (he is in cub scouts, football, and baseball) that the dad doesnt want to take him to so he tells me to keep him. This is all on text messages so i have the proof. I have been reading online that if the non custodial has not had contact with the child for over 90 days, the judge can and will sign off his rights as long as there is another person that is willing to adopt.

    My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together for 7 years. He has been in my sons life since my son was 18 months old. He has wanted to adopt him for the last couple years. So that is not an issue. The father has not called my son either. The next visitation is set for Aug 19-21 but my son has a camping trip with cubscouts and the father isnt going to want to do that either so another weekend forfeited by him. That will mark the 90 day since he has seen him of have contact. I need to know what i can do and what i need to do next.

    http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/3127

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    Quote Quoting mary3kids
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

    My sons father lives an hour away so i drive half way and he drives half way every other weekend for visitation. The last time my son has gone and seen his dad was the weekend of May 27, 2016. He is either working, (OTR truck driver), or he is busy or my son has an outing (he is in cub scouts, football, and baseball) that the dad doesnt want to take him to so he tells me to keep him. This is all on text messages so i have the proof. I have been reading online that if the non custodial has not had contact with the child for over 90 days, the judge can and will sign off his rights as long as there is another person that is willing to adopt.

    My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together for 7 years. He has been in my sons life since my son was 18 months old. He has wanted to adopt him for the last couple years. So that is not an issue. The father has not called my son either. The next visitation is set for Aug 19-21 but my son has a camping trip with cubscouts and the father isnt going to want to do that either so another weekend forfeited by him. That will mark the 90 day since he has seen him of have contact. I need to know what i can do and what i need to do next.

    http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/3127
    While the law might technically say that, I am pretty sure that in reality you won't find a judge that is willing to terminate a parent's rights just because its been 90 days since dad saw the child. What's more, you would have to obey the visitation orders until a judge says otherwise. Therefore, I can pretty much guarantee that dad will exercise every single visitation that the court orders allow, between the time you file and the time a hearing gets scheduled, which will cancel the opportunity for terminating his rights.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    Quote Quoting mary3kids
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    He is either working, (OTR truck driver), or he is busy or my son has an outing (he is in cub scouts, football, and baseball) that the dad doesnt want to take him to so he tells me to keep him.
    Dad has not yet missed ninety days of visitation, and it sounds like you're intentionally sending the child to cub scout camp on dad's weekend in the hope that dad won't go to the camp and thus push him past ninety days. If the fundamental problem is that you're scheduling the child for events that take place during his father's visitation, then you should stop, or you should exchange weekends or days so that the activities for which you're scheduling the child do not interfere with dad's parenting time.

    Why hasn't there been any contact by email, text, phone, video chat, etc?

    Incidentally, you are looking at the incorrect statute. Where paternity is established, the law is:
    Quote Quoting O.R.C. Sec. 3107.07. Adoption - Consent unnecessary
    (a) A parent of a minor, when it is alleged in the adoption petition and the court, after proper service of notice and hearing, finds by clear and convincing evidence that the parent has failed without justifiable cause to provide more than de minimis contact with the minor or to provide for the maintenance and support of the minor as required by law or judicial decree for a period of at least one year immediately preceding either the filing of the adoption petition or the placement of the minor in the home of the petitioner.

  4. #4
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    Has the father ordered to pay child support? Is he paying?

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    While the law might technically say that, I am pretty sure that in reality you won't find a judge that is willing to terminate a parent's rights just because its been 90 days since dad saw the child. What's more, you would have to obey the visitation orders until a judge says otherwise. Therefore, I can pretty much guarantee that dad will exercise every single visitation that the court orders allow, between the time you file and the time a hearing gets scheduled, which will cancel the opportunity for terminating his rights.
    This is important because typically the State will go out of its way to give the parent a second, third and - sometimes - even a fourth chance ... and it's also important to consider just how much the CP is contributing to the lack of contact.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    19

    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    Hold on a minute.... I am not intentionally sending him, it is a family trip for weekend. This stuff is scheduled at the beginning of June every year in which he get s copy and is aware of all the activities that happens during the summer. The father has not contacted me, I contact him to remind him that something is coming up and he tells me that he cant do it so for me to keep him. I ask my son if he wants to talk to him and he refuses. He is 8.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    Quote Quoting mary3kids
    View Post
    Hold on a minute.... I am not intentionally sending him, it is a family trip for weekend. This stuff is scheduled at the beginning of June every year in which he get s copy and is aware of all the activities that happens during the summer. The father has not contacted me, I contact him to remind him that something is coming up and he tells me that he cant do it so for me to keep him. I ask my son if he wants to talk to him and he refuses. He is 8.
    You're allowing your son to dictate?! Why? Mom, you're heading into very troubled waters here.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    8,006

    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    How is a cub scouts camping trip a family vacation?

    Since you KNOW when dad's weekends are, why are you scheduling activities that include your son on those weekends? That is on you.

    So your son refuses to speak to dad? Guess what, that is when you put on your parenting britches and MAKE him.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    If my son does not want to call him, i dont make him. the father does not call him nor does he ask about him in text.

    ............I DID NOT SCHEDULE IT THE LEADERS DO.................

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    Quote Quoting mary3kids
    View Post
    Hold on a minute.... I am not intentionally sending him, it is a family trip for weekend. This stuff is scheduled at the beginning of June every year in which he get s copy and is aware of all the activities that happens during the summer. The father has not contacted me, I contact him to remind him that something is coming up and he tells me that he cant do it so for me to keep him. I ask my son if he wants to talk to him and he refuses. He is 8.
    Legally it should be dad's decision whether or not the child participates in any activities that occur during his parenting time. As long as you make it clear that dad is allowed to say no to the camping trip, or whatever activity that may be occurring on his weekend, you are not at fault. However, one of two things is going on. Dad is either giving up the parenting time because he is not all that interested in parenting time (which is what you have decided is going on) or dad is putting the child's wishes first.

    However, the fact that you allow your son to refuse to talk to his father is quite troubling. That could cause you some major problems. Are you making it clear to dad that its his decision whether or not the child participates in activities on dad's weekends? If you are not, that could cause you major problems as well.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Failure to Exercise Visitation as a Basis for Stepparent Adoption

    Quote Quoting mary3kids
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    If my son does not want to call him, i dont make him. the father does not call him nor does he ask about him in text.
    I see.

    Mary3kids, you are not going to be able to get rid of Daddy as easily as you think. In fact, expect Dad to make a concerted effort to make sure he exercises every single bit of parenting time he can get - and then some. Of course, if Dad wants to allow a stepparent adoption that's fine, too. But if he doesn't? Not happening.

    Get used to that idea.

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Legally it should be dad's decision whether or not the child participates in any activities that occur during his parenting time. As long as you make it clear that dad is allowed to say no to the camping trip, or whatever activity that may be occurring on his weekend, you are not at fault. However, one of two things is going on. Dad is either giving up the parenting time because he is not all that interested in parenting time (which is what you have decided is going on) or dad is putting the child's wishes first.

    However, the fact that you allow your son to refuse to talk to his father is quite troubling. That could cause you some major problems. Are you making it clear to dad that its his decision whether or not the child participates in activities on dad's weekends? If you are not, that could cause you major problems as well.
    Note too that Dad has been unable to take some of his parenting time due to him working.

    My other question wasn't answered, either - is Dad ordered to pay child support, and is he paying?

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