My question involves a marriage in the state of: Washington
I filed and had my husband personally served with a Summons and Petition for Dissolution on July 19. I didn't really ask him for anything in the petition, because we've lived completely apart for five years and there's nothing left to split. No property in common, no kids. (In the petition, I just asked for one small debt of $300 of his to count for my half of a full propane tank.)
He lives nearby. His 20 day response window ran out 2 days ago.
A week ago, he came to my house and said that if I paid him a sum of money (basically everything in my checking and savings accounts, which wasn't much) that he would file a joinder on the petition. I gave him a post-dated check for $400-odd dollars (basically buying him a new phone which he demanded), and said OK. I didn't ask him to sign anything at that time because I felt intimidated and nauseous.
I'm frustrated, because he has refused to reimburse me for half the $325 filing fee and he's probably going to postpone signing the joinder just because he's gotten money from me and isn't interested in the paperwork.
I'm also frustrated because we live in a very small town and he has behaved dishonorably, cheating me financially. In hopes of avoiding divorce litigation - which he can afford and I can't - I've been keeping my mouth shut and not talking about some of the things he has done. I keep on being afraid that if I say anything, that he will not sign the joinder and will try to get money out of me. Although I don't think he can get anything. I just want it all to be over with.
So my questions are:
1) Does his showing up at my house and orally saying that he will file a joinder count as "appearing in the case"? I've been studying the form for filing a Motion for Default, and you have to let the respondent know you are filing the Motion if they have "appeared in this case in any other way." I only want to file the Motion for Default if he doesn't have to be notified.
2) Can I go to the Court Clerk and find out if he has filed a joinder yet? Do I have access to that information, as long as I have ID and the file number, if I'm the petitioner? I'm not represented by any lawyer.
3) Can he change his mind about the joinder and still file a combative response, even though it's late? My impression is that he gets to do that, right up until the point when I file a motion for default -- is that correct?
4) Is there a smart legal reason why I should either a) shut up and wait for him to get around to filing the joinder he mentioned or b) go ahead and file the motion for default? My impression is that his lawyer probably told him he couldn't get anything out of me legally, so he just offered a joinder if I would write him that random check.
Thanks for any advice.

