Can Parents Emancipate a Child to Avoid Being Responsible for Her Conduct

[Janice Cooper Holbert]

I agreed to let the boyfriend stay at my house only UNTIL the weekend when his father could come and pick him up to take him home with him. "Auntie" has backed mom up to the point of giving her land to put a home on to raise her child after moving them here from Florida. I let them both live in my home until there home was delivered and liveable. I have done everything I can for both of them but I will not put either of those kids out on their own without a place to sleep. I may not have much to offer her, but I can offer her a roof over her head right now until something is decided.

[llworking]

I agreed to let the boyfriend stay at my house only UNTIL the weekend when his father could come and pick him up to take him home with him. "Auntie" has backed mom up to the point of giving her land to put a home on to raise her child after moving them here from Florida. I let them both live in my home until there home was delivered and liveable. I have done everything I can for both of them but I will not put either of those kids out on their own without a place to sleep. I may not have much to offer her, but I can offer her a roof over her head right now until something is decided.

Whew...I do not think that you get it. What you did for mom in terms of helping her provide for her child has zero to do with the current situation. The current situation has to do with totally different issues.

Now, if you are allowing the 18 year old to stay with you temporarily while making it crystal clear that the 15 year old is going home with mom asap, then you might be okay.

[qwaspolk69]

Kid? He is 18. He is an adult. She is 16 - honestly if the mom hated him so much why did she let him move on? Or why didn't she call the cops on him?

I have a feeling you have backed up your sister as much as you possibly can in this situation.

[jk]

That's heartbreaking.

This is an obviously troubled teen who has essentially just been dumped by her parent.

Would Mom (and where is Dad? - his input will be required, as a rule) consider you having guardianship or custody?

Ack - I just assumed that you'd be okay with that too and that might not be the case (and you are not at fault no matter what you decide). Sorry.

heartbreaking? Maybe; maybe nkt


the child may be incorrigible. I suspect the kicking out was something more like; mom to daughter; boyfriend is leaving

Daughter; if he goes, I'm leaving too

mom; fine. Get out.


It may simply be its the girl, not the mother, that is the problem here. Mom may have simply lost control and does not know how to regain control and cannot force the separation of the daughter and boyfriend.

I see no reason to see it as mom dumping daughter.

[cdwjava]

This could be pretty easy - GET RID OF THE BOYFRIEND! Boot him out! He's an adult, he can go hit the skids. Someone was coming to pick him up, but they didn't? Well, too bad! That's HIS problem!

THEN, daughter needs to go home. If she won't go willingly, mom can come with the police and drag her back (they'll do that until she is 17 ... TX has an odd loophole in its delinquency law). YOU are only enabling this situation, and you may very well find your underage niece with child very shortly. Heck, I am surprised that the young lovers haven't decided (erroneously) that the "best way" (in their convoluted way of thinking) to stay together is as "a family."

You are NOT this child's parent! You are enabling her poor behavior and decision making. If mom truly is not providing for the child, then call the authorities. They may be very interested to hear that mom has been allowing her to shack up and play house with an adult, and, if mom has truly abandoned her child, they may want to hear that, too. Bottom line is, as long as everyone gives these two kids what they want, they will continue to behave poorly, make poor choices, and continue to be irresponsible since they have only been rewarded at every step with what THEY want. BF wants to move in to do the horizontal mombo with his minor girlfriend every night? Check. They want to live by their own rules? Check. Runaway and get someone get them a house (a mobile one) where they can continue to shack up on someone else's dime? Check. This is enabling behavior at its best, and if these two kids are not already into drugs and alcohol, I suspect that one or both are not far behind.

[Mercy&Grace]

This could be pretty easy - GET RID OF THE BOYFRIEND! Boot him out! He's an adult, he can go hit the skids. Someone was coming to pick him up, but they didn't? Well, too bad! That's HIS problem!

THEN, daughter needs to go home. If she won't go willingly, mom can come with the police and drag her back (they'll do that until she is 17 ... TX has an odd loophole in its delinquency law). YOU are only enabling this situation, and you may very well find your underage niece with child very shortly. Heck, I am surprised that the young lovers haven't decided (erroneously) that the "best way" (in their convoluted way of thinking) to stay together is as "a family."

You are NOT this child's parent! You are enabling her poor behavior and decision making. If mom truly is not providing for the child, then call the authorities. They may be very interested to hear that mom has been allowing her to shack up and play house with an adult, and, if mom has truly abandoned her child, they may want to hear that, too. Bottom line is, as long as everyone gives these two kids what they want, they will continue to behave poorly, make poor choices, and continue to be irresponsible since they have only been rewarded at every step with what THEY want. BF wants to move in to do the horizontal mombo with his minor girlfriend every night? Check. They want to live by their own rules? Check. Runaway and get someone get them a house (a mobile one) where they can continue to shack up on someone else's dime? Check. This is enabling behavior at its best, and if these two kids are not already into drugs and alcohol, I suspect that one or both are not far behind.

Ditto

[cbg]

What Carl said.

[CourtClerk]

This could be pretty easy - GET RID OF THE BOYFRIEND! Boot him out! He's an adult, he can go hit the skids. Someone was coming to pick him up, but they didn't? Well, too bad! That's HIS problem!

THEN, daughter needs to go home. If she won't go willingly, mom can come with the police and drag her back (they'll do that until she is 17 ... TX has an odd loophole in its delinquency law). YOU are only enabling this situation, and you may very well find your underage niece with child very shortly. Heck, I am surprised that the young lovers haven't decided (erroneously) that the "best way" (in their convoluted way of thinking) to stay together is as "a family."

You are NOT this child's parent! You are enabling her poor behavior and decision making. If mom truly is not providing for the child, then call the authorities. They may be very interested to hear that mom has been allowing her to shack up and play house with an adult, and, if mom has truly abandoned her child, they may want to hear that, too. Bottom line is, as long as everyone gives these two kids what they want, they will continue to behave poorly, make poor choices, and continue to be irresponsible since they have only been rewarded at every step with what THEY want. BF wants to move in to do the horizontal mombo with his minor girlfriend every night? Check. They want to live by their own rules? Check. Runaway and get someone get them a house (a mobile one) where they can continue to shack up on someone else's dime? Check. This is enabling behavior at its best, and if these two kids are not already into drugs and alcohol, I suspect that one or both are not far behind.

Seeing as if you and I have for the most part, similar parenting styles..... this. This. AND THIS.