
Quoting
Robson
My oldest sons father lives far away, he is a great father but unfortunately his work takes him away. He sees his son when he can.
All boys are on the wait list for therapy. Hopefully September they will get in. We have been to court many many times, the last was when the judge order him to have no visitation until further order of the court. After that last order, it was ordered that the boys call him twice a week. For the first few months after the boys refused to speak to him. I have recorded video of how violent they would become when I would try to get them to call him. After time the youngest started showing interest in wanting to call, but then during the call my ex would question the boys about myself and my current partner, making me feel unsafe, along with other emotional crap that would come out during the calls. The boys would be angry and act out towards me after the calls. I have several conversations recorded.
The pending court case does not directly involve the children, however when the threats occurred it was in front of the children, along with him questioning the children about things the jeopardize my safety, trying to get someone to break into our house and on and on... Hence why the Supreme Court Judge made an order denying access until further order of the court.
I have been seeing a therapist for over a year, I do EMDR for my ptsd along with other therapy.
I do believe he has rights, that is why after all the abuse and after fleeing in the middle of the night to escape him, while he was in custody after attacking me in front of the children, I continued to do everything in my power to keep him in contact with his boys. Even when it came to sentencing for his assault charges I pleaded for him to not have a criminal record to affect his ability to work, and for him to see the children every weekend. The court allowed us to move several hours away for a reason...such as after seeing the evidence, the Supreme Court now has ordered no access. I am not a vindictive or mean person by an means (as you seem to think I may be) I myself have been in therapy for my PTSD for over a year. I have also gone back to school and am taking psychology as I have become immensely fascinated with how our brain works through this whole experience. My ex has been seen by many therapists, since a young child according to his mother...I am unsure of who exactly saw him.
As far as a mother, with sole custody, who is trying to keep myself and my children safe and being seen as the protective parent by the Ministry of Family Development, I do have some say. Seems as many on here are quick to judge and seem to be a little defensive. Not all of us are "crazy ex's" some of us do try to do the right thing.
I am aware of the consequences of not following the court order and have been in contact with my lawyer about this, trust me, it bothers me immensely. I am not one to break the law or do something like this normally. We will be dealing with this very shortly, next court date is this month.
I do have a protection order in place, my ex is smart and manipulative, he uses calling cards to call to harass us daily (as they are untraceable) and tries to get other people to do things...really irrelevant I suppose here...
I have recently been in touch with a person who will do a report of "the views of the children" during this process I believe they do a very thorough interview of BOTH parents, which I greatly look forward too!!!
I document everything, every phone call, every event etc... I am thinking maybe I should do an urgent application to suspend the calls until after the trial... I just don't know. All I want to do is keep my children's mental state healthy. That is all
I think that you are right. I will look into filling a motion to do this. the last thing I want is to be looked upon as trying to alienate him from his children. I swear this is not my intension, hence the years of driving this children to him after everything that has happened in the past...too much to go into, but I could write a book! I fear that one day I will be that mother found in a ditch somewhere...
It's a very difficult thing here that tears at my heart...my children provide him with my whereabouts, who I am with, what I am doing, where we live etc...and they always will...so how do I stay safe? Either I give him my children and run away... or what is my other option here??
I am FULLY supportive of supervised visitation, but he refuses that...