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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
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    1

    Default What to Do if Your Ex Won't Sign Custody Papers

    My question involves paternity law for the State of: Indiana

    Ill try to make this short and sweet. I have a 4 year child. Paternity affidavit was completed and child's fathers name is on birth certificate. My ex and I broke up about yr and a half ago. There has never been a court order for visitation or child support. Up until the last few months, ex's parents have been meeting me for the drop off of our child for visitation. Ex has been helping financially by paying for a vehicle payment that was purchased while we were together. (I have since purchased car and he no longer makes payment, but has yet to sign over title.) I recently have become engaged. Ex tried to "win" me back and was unsuccessful, confrontation began. Ex has decided that he will be the one meeting me now for visitation. Problem is, we live in two different counties and meet half way which is in the middle of nowhere. I do not feel safe meeting in this location as he has been confrontational in the past in front of child when meeting, calls me names continuously, and has threatened me physically in the past. Last meeting took place a month ago. Ex refused to meet in a public place and told me if I wanted my daughter back, I would meet him in same place as always, or she would stay with him. Which is not the first time he has threatened to keep child.

    I then had an officer do a "stand by", ex was disrespectful and confrontational to me and officer. Officer advised me to get our agreement legalized to prevent any conflict with getting child back. I met with an attorney who advised me to go through prosecutors office initially as it was cheaper. Ex at first agreed to cooperate and sign papers however was adamant about me dropping child's health insurance so he could pick up insurance at his work place. He then decided he was not going to sign and has hired an attorney "since I have chosen to keep child away from him for no reason", whom I have yet to hear from.

    Court date is set in a couple weeks for child support and visitation. It will be 6 weeks at that point since he will have seen child. Attorney has advised along with police officers from both counties to wait for visitation until there is a court order....... of course, ex is livid....asks for child continuously and calls me names. If he would have just signed initial paperwork, he would have only missed one visitation weekend, which I offered to give him mine to make up for his lost time.

    My questions:

    1. From a legal standpoint, why wouldn't he just sign initial paperwork, so we could be done with this? Motives? Possible custody case ahead of me?
    2. Am i going to be in trouble for not allowing him to see child until this is settled?
    3. My wedding falls on a holiday weekend that he will have child on if we go by guidelines. It has been scheduled for months and was scheduled on this day so fiance and I could have all of our children there. Ex and I have never acknowledged this holiday wknd, and wknd WOULD have fallen on my wknd. Is there anything I can do to assure child is at wedding.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Behind a Desk
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    Default Re: Ex Won't Sign for Service of Custody Papers

    Service of process is not a game of "tag". If the prosecutor's office is attempting to have a court officer or deputy serve papers on your ex- and he won't sign for them, they can leave them on the ground in front of him and report to the court that he was served.

    If what you are in fact asking him to do is to stipulate to an order of custody and support, he is under no obligation to agree to your proposed custody order. As he has a lawyer, the prosecutor's office can negotiate with his lawyer or serve any motions upon his lawyer.

    If you are violating established custody practices by refusing to allow visits then, yes, that can make a judge angry with you and potentially entitle your ex- to make-up parenting time. If in fact you are being represented by somebody with the prosecutor's office, speak to that lawyer about your choices.

    If you are concerned that your ex- might somehow have the child on the weekend of your wedding, even though it's your scheduled weekend by virtue of your agreement with your ex-, perhaps you could explain why. If it's a matter of your being concerned that he might seek make-up parenting time based upon your refusal to allow him access to the child, you again need to speak about your choices and their possible consequences to whomever is representing you in the custody matter.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Ex Won't Sign for Service of Custody Papers

    There are no custody/visitation orders in place, MKIA.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    835

    Default Re: Ex Won't Sign for Service of Custody Papers

    I would address the wedding date as part of the custody agreement too because holidays trump normal weekends.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Ex Won't Sign for Service of Custody Papers

    If the court order is in place before the wedding, Mom is going to have to cater to whatever Dad wants to do as it's a holiday weekend and according to Mom, he gets it because of the holiday.

    When is the wedding to take place? Are we talking 8 months? Labor Day?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    18,340

    Default Re: What to Do if Your Ex Won't Sign Custody Papers

    Quote Quoting cg1234
    View Post

    From a legal standpoint, why wouldn't he just sign initial paperwork, so we could be done with this? Motives?
    Legal standpoint?

    How about a reality standpoint. He is hostile, jealous and resentful that you have another man in your life and he will do anything and everything to make your life as miserable as possible before, during, and after, the litigation.

    Quote Quoting cg1234
    View Post

    Possible custody case ahead of me?
    I don't know about that. But I can almost guarantee that he will keep you going back to court for many years to come.

    Quote Quoting cg1234
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    Am i going to be in trouble for not allowing him to see child until this is settled?
    There's no way to predict that but you can bet he will try to use that against you in court.

    Quote Quoting cg1234
    View Post

    My wedding falls on a holiday weekend that he will have child on if we go by guidelines. It has been scheduled for months and was scheduled on this day so fiance and I could have all of our children there. Ex and I have never acknowledged this holiday wknd, and wknd WOULD have fallen on my wknd. Is there anything I can do to assure child is at wedding.
    Yes. Make damned sure you address this in court and get a written order from the judge specifying that your child attends your wedding regardless of what day it falls on.

    If you don't get that and the visitation order gives him weekends then your daughter will have to be satisfied with looking at pictures of your wedding that don't have her in it.

    As for you meeting him half way, I suggest you address that in court, too. If he is the one that moved to the other county then he should be the one coming to your house to pick her up. If you are the one that moved to the other county you could end up having to deliver her to his doorstep.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    1,695

    Default Re: What to Do if Your Ex Won't Sign Custody Papers

    If you have the child for your wedding weekend, are you planning to give him makeup time? I can certainly see that he would be difficult if he loses even more time with the child.

    When you propose a custody plan, it is fair is you would be happy if the stated roles were reversed - i.e. he has residential custody and you were to be the non-custodial parent. You never know when circumstances might result in role reversal.

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