What Happens at a Hearing to Set Aside an Acknowledgment of Paternity

[klamath101]

No, nothing was mentioned regarding fraud. I am just very curious because it would make this whole situation much easer from what a glean. What is the best approach while waiting for the hearing? I am already avoiding going to town and communicating with anybody with exception to maintain the operations of the ranch. Is there anything beneficial I can do while waiting for the hearing. Please describe the questions that will be asked during the hearing and hypothetically what can be expected as a result, worst and best case scenario. I understand I have only presented half of the story but the picture I have painted is very accurate it does not benefit myself to deceive those I am asking for opinions. Thank you

And you are right on target, I am unable to prove that I was not informed either. Good point. That is something that we have not given any regard. very perceptive.

[Dogmatique]

Best case: you're disestablished as the father, and you go on with your life without looking back.

Worst case: the court will not disestablish you as the father, and you have a child ... who you'll be supporting.

("Best" and "worst" are of course subjective - many people would reverse the above answers)

There is really nothing you can do, at this point, except wait. I'm sorry - I know that's not helping you much but it is what it is.

And please believe me, knowing that some women will lie their backsides off frustrates me too. Then again, this is a lesson in not signing a darned thing - EVER - without knowing what you're getting into!

[klamath101]

Thank you, What is the best method to attempt to change policies or educate other fathers to avoid the same situation. Our family is extremely well know in town and we have attempted to spread the word regarding VAP forms and are starting a community out reach program at the community collage to help inform expecting fathers in the same situation before they make the same series of mistakes. I would write to the governor but lets face it, that dog will not hunt. Life has started to get hard for her parents witch are also farmers because many of the buyers and the contacts I set them up with to buy there hay, grain, and cattle will not deal with them. including suppliers, we assume because they know it will cost them my parents business. The attorney gave a format response for when the family is asked about the child basically "the child is not mine" and leave it at that. In your openion should we worry about the fact that there daughters actions are having adverse affects on there business?

As for reversing the answers how many of you would enjoy to raise or support a child that is not yours? Just curiouse what a public openion looks like? even if you do not agree with my plan I would love to hear people play devils advocate.

[Dogmatique]

Thank you, What is the best method to attempt to change policies or educate other fathers to avoid the same situation. Our family is extremely well know in town and we have attempted to spread the word regarding VAP forms and are starting a community out reach program at the community collage to help inform expecting fathers in the same situation before they make the same series of mistakes. I would write to the governor but lets face it, that dog will not hunt. Life has started to get hard for her parents witch are also farmers because many of the buyers and the contacts I set them up with to buy there hay, grain, and cattle will not deal with them. including suppliers, we assume because they know it will cost them my parents business. The attorney gave a format response for when the family is asked about the child basically "the child is not mine" and leave it at that. In your openion should we worry about the fact that there daughters actions are having adverse affects on there business?

As for reversing the answers how many of you would enjoy to raise or support a child that is not yours? Just curiouse what a public openion looks like? even if you do not agree with my plan I would love to hear people play devils advocate.

Here's the thing.

Signing a document stating you're the father of a child, before you have a DNA paternity test, is just not wise. The number of men (even married) who assume the child is theirs only to find out years later that there is no biological link at all, is ever-increasing. But the bottom line is that unless you're married (and you're not, so we don't need to involve that side of things at the moment), you really don't have an excuse to hold off signing anything before you get that magic little test.

As far as raising or supporting a child that's not ... well, define "yours". I'm not biologically related to either of my kids. But they're mine, alright.

It is, on the other hand, also foolish to put the blame entirely on Mom. It takes two to complete the act - and it takes two to establish paternity in an unwed situation. You had a choice, and you perhaps chose unwisely. That's not all on Mom.

(Of course, getting to know someone before actually doing the deed is also an excellent idea. While it doesn't rule out infidelity, it does make a whole lot more sense than just dipping your wick into someone's candle before knowing their name)

[klamath101]

For a moral stand point do you claim them as yours because by the time you discovered the truth the emotional attachment was to strong to deny, or did you know beforehand? I understand it is a very personal question. Why are you on this website not necessarily giving advise but your opinion? which is greatly valued.

I assume blame for my unwise action even though I am trying to get out of the responsibility, you are correct I can not put the entire blame on the mother. I agree knowing somebody before having sex is the new policy I have even thought about turning gay, that's a joke.

[readytoleave]

I suppose it is a bit ridiculous to expect someone who adopts a child to love them despite the fact that they are not biologically related.

Or step parents that come into someone's life after a previous relationship ended? Right?

I get that you are upset with Mom. I really do because I hate liars with a passion, and you got the short end of the stick here. Albeit a stick that you created because you signed something without protecting yourself. Sadly, it's not like this is the first time a woman has lied about who the daddy is (they devote whole talk shows to this exact situation), so you already know you should have known better, and I applaud you for owning that. You really seem like a decent guy. But here is the thing. Even if you are found to be the child's legal father, it isn't going to be the worst thing in the world, unless you make it that way. You get to choose to have a relationship with that child, help to raise that child, love that child. You have the opportunity to make that child's life better. IF you continue to be found to be the legal father, don't punish the child by not being involved because you are angry with mom for being a liar and because you didn't contribute the material to make the baby. Treat the child as if they are biologically yours, and you will surely learn that biology doesn't create a bond. People do. And I say this as a former step-mother who still get's to be involved in my step-daughters life. And I can tell you that if asked, I would happily continue to help support her financially, despite the fact that I don't get along with my ex-husband.

[llworking]

Thank you, What is the best method to attempt to change policies or educate other fathers to avoid the same situation. Our family is extremely well know in town and we have attempted to spread the word regarding VAP forms and are starting a community out reach program at the community collage to help inform expecting fathers in the same situation before they make the same series of mistakes. I would write to the governor but lets face it, that dog will not hunt. Life has started to get hard for her parents witch are also farmers because many of the buyers and the contacts I set them up with to buy there hay, grain, and cattle will not deal with them. including suppliers, we assume because they know it will cost them my parents business. The attorney gave a format response for when the family is asked about the child basically "the child is not mine" and leave it at that. In your openion should we worry about the fact that there daughters actions are having adverse affects on there business?

As for reversing the answers how many of you would enjoy to raise or support a child that is not yours? Just curiouse what a public openion looks like? even if you do not agree with my plan I would love to hear people play devils advocate.

Why would your parents want to punish the parents of the woman who lied to you? Why aren't your parents telling everyone to please not refuse to do business with the woman's parents as its not their fault she lied?

[Dogmatique]

For a moral stand point do you claim them as yours because by the time you discovered the truth the emotional attachment was to strong to deny, or did you know beforehand? I understand it is a very personal question. Why are you on this website not necessarily giving advise but your opinion? which is greatly valued.

I assume blame for my unwise action even though I am trying to get out of the responsibility, you are correct I can not put the entire blame on the mother. I agree knowing somebody before having sex is the new policy I have even thought about turning gay, that's a joke.

You're ignorant, and you're not funny.

Bye.

[Blossom]

I'm trying to figure out how this woman got pregnant somewhere between November 2015-January 2016, and by April had already given birth?? A 3-5 month pregnancy??

Either she was already 5-6 months pregnant when OP met her and he was too clueless to realize it or OP is a troll.

[Mercy&Grace]

When people are not responsible and don't have respect for themselves, others and their possible children, this is one of many things that happens. No sex outside of marriage, would take care of this problem. Unfortunately, most young people want what they want, when they want it, the way they want it and they don't care about anything or anyone else. Frankly, you are no better than she is. It just shows on you differently.