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  1. #1

    Default When Can a Disabled Spouse Get Alimony

    My question involves a marriage in the state of:Minnesota. My wife served me divorce papers the day I met with an attorney that I did hire though I am on long term disability and will not be able to have the retainer paid in full til I get paid in July as I only get paid once a month and I would like to file a motion for an extension so I may have my attorney do the response for me but will not do anything til I make the next payment in July and my wife does not want me to have an extension so what are the steps and how easy is it to simply file the motion for the extension myself? My second question is about alimony. My wife makes 30K more a year than me and we are having to sell our house on a short sale and she thinks I should live for free with a single brother I have though he does not want a roommate and now thinks i should live in a studio though we have been married 21 years and have a 3 bedroom home. I get 1736 a month and she makes almost 4000 a month, could I possibly get alimony?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Motion and Alimony

    Quote Quoting sleepysleepperson
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    My question involves a marriage in the state of:Minnesota. My wife served me divorce papers the day I met with an attorney that I did hire though I am on long term disability and will not be able to have the retainer paid in full til I get paid in July as I only get paid once a month and I would like to file a motion for an extension so I may have my attorney do the response for me but will not do anything til I make the next payment in July and my wife does not want me to have an extension so what are the steps and how easy is it to simply file the motion for the extension myself? My second question is about alimony. My wife makes 30K more a year than me and we are having to sell our house on a short sale and she thinks I should live for free with a single brother I have though he does not want a roommate and now thinks i should live in a studio though we have been married 21 years and have a 3 bedroom home. I get 1736 a month and she makes almost 4000 a month, could I possibly get alimony?
    There is nothing wrong with living in a studio apartment. However yes, its possible that you may be able to get some alimony, but if I were in your shoes, I would live as cheaply as possible without including alimony in my budget, and then save the rest. You cannot count on her having that job forever. Stuff happens. Your income is more guaranteed than hers is.

    You also have to look at taxable vs non-taxable. If your long term disability is SSDI then you will not have to pay any taxes on your income. Your wife, on the other hand, will have to pay taxes on hers. That reduces the disparity between the two of you. Also, she will get a tax deduction on any alimony she pays you and it will become taxable income to you.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Motion and Alimony

    Thanks for the response. I read all this crap about being equal or equitable and it just seems that yes I will and have for the past year lived very cheap.as I've signed over every check to her since I've been on STD/LTD and it seems that on the flip side i should have a 1 bedroom with the basic ammenities i have no and to do that leaves me 90 bucks without even buying food.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Motion and Alimony

    Quote Quoting sleepysleepperson
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    Thanks for the response. I read all this crap about being equal or equitable and it just seems that yes I will and have for the past year lived very cheap.as I've signed over every check to her since I've been on STD/LTD and it seems that on the flip side i should have a 1 bedroom with the basic ammenities i have no and to do that leaves me 90 bucks without even buying food.
    Have you considered moving to somewhere where the cost of living is not quite so expensive? You have some flexibility there.

  5. #5

    Default Re: When Can a Disabled Spouse Get Alimony

    Yes I have thought about that but should I really have to do that? If the roles were reversed would she be told the same thing I'm being told, just wondering I guess. She's not even paying for her divorce and it's funny in all this drama I even had given her money asked her to save some of it and I'd pay the difference next time.i was paid and you could file for divorce then but she decided to file without waiting for that and tells me Welp you said if I didn'tfile you would and nnow it's her and her mother who's saying why do I need an attorney it's only when she lies about borrowing against her 401 and saying she used it to pay the mortgage which I simply asked if she even told her attorney that she borrowed it without me knowing as Federal law says I must sign off as its a marital assett but when I cash in a 20 Grand 491 it doesn't mean squat.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: When Can a Disabled Spouse Get Alimony

    Quote Quoting sleepysleepperson
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    Yes I have thought about that but should I really have to do that? If the roles were reversed would she be told the same thing I'm being told, just wondering I guess. She's not even paying for her divorce and it's funny in all this drama I even had given her money asked her to save some of it and I'd pay the difference next time.i was paid and you could file for divorce then but she decided to file without waiting for that and tells me Welp you said if I didn'tfile you would and nnow it's her and her mother who's saying why do I need an attorney it's only when she lies about borrowing against her 401 and saying she used it to pay the mortgage which I simply asked if she even told her attorney that she borrowed it without me knowing as Federal law says I must sign off as its a marital assett but when I cash in a 20 Grand 491 it doesn't mean squat.
    Actually yes, I would be giving the same advice if the genders were reversed. I have seen many people who were in a long term marriage, rely on alimony for basic living expenses, when they had some income of their own, like disability. What often happens is that their former spouse loses their job, or passes away or otherwise is no longer able to provide them the additional income, and suddenly they are in a world of hurt.

    Therefore, like I do with child support as well, is I advise people to try and budget on their own income alone, so that the alimony or child support is extra.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: When Can a Disabled Spouse Get Alimony

    Quote Quoting sleepysleepperson
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    Yes I have thought about that but should I really have to do that? If the roles were reversed would she be told the same thing I'm being told, just wondering I guess. She's not even paying for her divorce and it's funny in all this drama I even had given her money asked her to save some of it and I'd pay the difference next time.i was paid and you could file for divorce then but she decided to file without waiting for that and tells me Welp you said if I didn'tfile you would and nnow it's her and her mother who's saying why do I need an attorney it's only when she lies about borrowing against her 401 and saying she used it to pay the mortgage which I simply asked if she even told her attorney that she borrowed it without me knowing as Federal law says I must sign off as its a marital assett but when I cash in a 20 Grand 491 it doesn't mean squat.


    If you NEED to do something, then you need to do something; it doesn't matter which gender you are (to most of us anyway). Wasting your time asking intangible rhetorical questions isn't going to help you at all - it's just going to make you feel even worse.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: When Can a Disabled Spouse Get Alimony

    Married people are so used to not having roommates (other than their spouse). Then they split and want the same size house but without the other spouse. Then they fight over each other's money because they deserve the same standard of living they had before. There is no shame in getting some roommates again. They can keep you from going crazy, if you click with them.

    I'm no lawyer, but I think judges are more likely to side with women if there are kids involved, or at least if she has been the primary child raiser that whole time.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: When Can a Disabled Spouse Get Alimony

    Quote Quoting MikeSmith321
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    Married people are so used to not having roommates (other than their spouse). Then they split and want the same size house but without the other spouse. Then they fight over each other's money because they deserve the same standard of living they had before. There is no shame in getting some roommates again. They can keep you from going crazy, if you click with them.

    I'm no lawyer, but I think judges are more likely to side with women if there are kids involved, or at least if she has been the primary child raiser that whole time.
    My experience has been that gender doesn't even enter the equation when alimony is being considered.

    When children are involved, there's a common term we use for money spent raising those children; we call it "child support".


  10. #10
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    Default Re: When Can a Disabled Spouse Get Alimony

    Gender neutrality in the law can't change the fact that mothers are usually primary care givers and the psychological parent of young children. That's why family law appears outwardly to favor women - it's just a fact of life. Where there are no children, the disparities have pretty much disappeared. Some states, like mine, provide for a temporary alimony during the pendancy of the dissolution proceeding so that the person in need can retain counsel. Minnesota may have such a statute, and then the spouse filing for divorce would have to provide temporary funding. But if the OP has consulted a lawyer, I'm sure that was considered. As for longer term alimony, most states will base it on the need of one party, the ability of the other party to pay, and a variety of other factors like length of the marriage and relative earning ability. Until you can hire a lawyer, you might consult a local legal aid office. Most of them can provide help to the non-filing spouse at the very least.

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