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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    3

    Unhappy Dating a Minor and Lying to Her Parents About My Age

    So first of all. no I'm not a pedo. I met her and I liked her she looked to be about 20 or so years old. she is 16 and I'm 21. shes turning 17 on september 16th and although I know that is completely irrelevant she made sure that I knew that.

    She knew my age, I didn't know hers at first but I found out later after we flirted up a bit and what not. the issue is that after I found out I kept the flirting, she obviously went with it and I felt it was wrong so every time she kept making plans, I would postpone them or tell her I was busy that day. I still kept flirting with her idiotically and should have stopped and my gut instinct was telling me to do so and I was on the verge of ending the chats with her. keep in mind she looked way older than she was and I know that may infuriate you guys and have you pointing fingers, but I am a Christian guy with a clean record and I really like following the law. I know I screwed up and now her parents are really interested in meeting me. they want me to bring ID and all. she told them I was 18 against my wishes. and that made things much worse. they saw my FB which said I was older. now can I get into trouble? I did tell her we could meet but on the days we were supposed to meet I would flake. because I knew it was wrong and I didn't want to hurt her. sure that probably made things worse. we work together which is a huuuge problem because now I will probably lose my job and my coworkers will see me as a huge loser if they found out. and I am going to stop talking to her now. what can happen to me? I would rather keep living a normal life. I know of other younger girls at my job that are also 16 and that like me but I obviously made sure they knew I was 21. that or that I was taken. its just that I didn't know that this girl was 16 at first. I'm so scared of what can happen. should I meet with her parents tomorrow and show them my ID that tells them I'm older than 18? or can I tell them I will not be talking to their daughter anymore and end it there without any repercussions. id like to keep working where I work without them showing up and embarrassing me in front of my coworkers. I didn't want to cause problems for her either. I feel its both our faults and of course mostly mine for not stopping it when I should have. I never touched her. I would walk her to her car and we would talk but never made an attempt to touch her. she knows it.

    help

    -Muller

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: Met a Girl at Work. She Was a Minor and I Was Not. Need Advice

    Ok, you are not going to get into trouble for FLIRTING with a younger girl. Not LEGAL trouble, anyway. Your employer may take a dim view of you carrying on with fellow employees - particularly minors - but, it is not criminal in any way.

    If all you did was chat with her then you did not break the law. Move and be more careful in the future.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Met a Girl at Work. She Was a Minor and I Was Not. Need Advice

    Quote Quoting cdwjava
    View Post
    Ok, you are not going to get into trouble for FLIRTING with a younger girl. Not LEGAL trouble, anyway. Your employer may take a dim view of you carrying on with fellow employees - particularly minors - but, it is not criminal in any way.

    If all you did was chat with her then you did not break the law. Move and be more careful in the future.
    I will be careful. thank you.

    We only did flirt quite a bit. never touched her and respected her space and I even avoided her completely before this became an issue. we flirted over messenger and text but at work we barely spoke because I made it clear it was wrong. I am only hoping her parents will not go to our work and make work hell for me. I don't even want to go to work anymore for fear of that.

    also, I just want to state again that she made plans to hang before work and to go out and on certain days and I would just flake and say I was busy etc. and whenever we would start at the same time I would always get there early but would park at a gas station blocks from my job until it was 15 min til i clocked in before i parked in the work parking structure.

    why am i telling you this? because it makes me feel less anxiety. I'm freaked out atm. i don't want to be seen as a sick person. because i am not. and i would like to continue my life in peace... I'm just venting and hoping for a solid response that will tell me what i should do. and what will happen or what can happen to me based on the info i shared here in this post as well as my previous post. excuse my lack of punctuation and grammar.

    and thank you for your time.

    -Muller

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: Met a Girl at Work. She Was a Minor and I Was Not. Need Advice

    What you should do is stop flirting with her. What will happen is unknown as long as the crystal ball remains out of order. What can happen based on what you've posted here is nothing, if you are talking about legal action. Obviously no one here can promise that her parents will not give you a hard time.

    For Pete's sake, relax.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    3

    Unhappy Re: Met a Girl at Work. She Was a Minor and I Was Not. Need Advice

    Quote Quoting cbg
    View Post
    What you should do is stop flirting with her. What will happen is unknown as long as the crystal ball remains out of order. What can happen based on what you've posted here is nothing, if you are talking about legal action. Obviously no one here can promise that her parents will not give you a hard time.

    For Pete's sake, relax.
    It was so hard to keep myself together last night when her parents found my fb age which said I was much older. (made the account when I was 15 and posted my age as 21 for full access) they wanted my ID and I was going to send it but I didn't know if I should have so I didn't.

    I'm a bit more relaxed now thank you guys for your answer....I was dying. so I haven't flirted with her anymore. shes mad at me for some reason because I "led her on" when it was a mutual thing. i just want her parents to forget about this situation. i didn't do anything bad. but sometimes parents can be overprotective. and they have a right to be i guess but still it was mutual and she knew i was older and that it wasn't right. yet she kept it going. as did i. so we are both to blame.

    thanks and my apologies for the rants.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    312

    Default Re: Met a Girl at Work. She Was a Minor and I Was Not. Need Advice

    Quote Quoting dmarino
    View Post
    i didn't do anything bad. but sometimes parents can be overprotective.
    You flirted with a child. You being an adult, makes that very wrong. If you can't control that urge to flirt with children, you need to seek counseling.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    18,340

    Default Re: Met a Girl at Work. She Was a Minor and I Was Not. Need Advice

    Quote Quoting dmarino
    View Post
    we are both to blame.
    Keep deluding yourself if you like.

    I have to agree with Pringle.

    You need to back off, cool off, and hope to heck her parents don't take out a restraining order against you because then you WILL lose your job.

    PS: Never get personal with anybody at work. That's about as dangerous to your job as it can get, even if a woman is "of age."

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: Dating a Minor and Lying to Her Parents About My Age

    Quote Quoting dmarino
    View Post
    So first of all. no I'm not a pedo. I met her and I liked her she looked to be about 20 or so years old. she is 16 and I'm 21. shes turning 17 on september 16th and although I know that is completely irrelevant she made sure that I knew that.

    She knew my age, I didn't know hers at first but I found out later after we flirted up a bit and what not. the issue is that after I found out I kept the flirting, she obviously went with it and I felt it was wrong so every time she kept making plans, I would postpone them or tell her I was busy that day. I still kept flirting with her idiotically and should have stopped and my gut instinct was telling me to do so and I was on the verge of ending the chats with her. keep in mind she looked way older than she was and I know that may infuriate you guys and have you pointing fingers, but I am a Christian guy with a clean record and I really like following the law. I know I screwed up and now her parents are really interested in meeting me. they want me to bring ID and all. she told them I was 18 against my wishes. and that made things much worse. they saw my FB which said I was older. now can I get into trouble? I did tell her we could meet but on the days we were supposed to meet I would flake. because I knew it was wrong and I didn't want to hurt her. sure that probably made things worse. we work together which is a huuuge problem because now I will probably lose my job and my coworkers will see me as a huge loser if they found out. and I am going to stop talking to her now. what can happen to me? I would rather keep living a normal life. I know of other younger girls at my job that are also 16 and that like me but I obviously made sure they knew I was 21. that or that I was taken. its just that I didn't know that this girl was 16 at first. I'm so scared of what can happen. should I meet with her parents tomorrow and show them my ID that tells them I'm older than 18? or can I tell them I will not be talking to their daughter anymore and end it there without any repercussions. id like to keep working where I work without them showing up and embarrassing me in front of my coworkers. I didn't want to cause problems for her either. I feel its both our faults and of course mostly mine for not stopping it when I should have. I never touched her. I would walk her to her car and we would talk but never made an attempt to touch her. she knows it.

    help

    -Muller
    By definition you are not a pedophile. No. However, once you found out her age, you should have just ended it. Why do guys do this? Is it worth possible jail time to date an underage girl?

    Just end it. It really is not worth losing your job or your life over it. She is one girl. You can find another one (maybe one who is legally able to consent to a sexual relationship?).

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