Can You Get Emancipated from a Controlling Parent

[xochescobar]

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: Texas

My sister past away in 2014 leaving a 13 year old daughter. My sister was in the process of getting divorced but didn't finish the process. My niece went to leave with my mother since she never had a good relationship with her father, but after a year of leaving with my mom, her dad took her to leave with him and now he doesn't even want her to come visit her grandmother. Ever since my niece was a little girl she grew up with our side of the family for a couple of reasons: 1) her dad hide to his family that he married my sister and that they had a daughter for 4 years, until my sister reached out to them. 2) he worked outside the city and would only visit my sister every two weeks, but wouldn't really spend time with them. 3) all of her father's family lives 2 hours away and didn't really visited them, my sister would make the trips sometimes to visit them, but it was only a few time a year. 4) We had always lived close to my sister and niece. 5) my mom would babysit her while my sister work.

As you can see, my niece has always been attached to us but never had a strong relationship with her fathers family. This bothers her father so much that he doesn't want her to spend too much time with us and is very strict with the time she spends at my mother's house.

My mom (the grandmother): She is 66 years old and lives in a one bedroom apartment by herself. She has a babysitting job and my brother and sister help her with expenses. We are religious people that are constantly trying to teach good values to my niece and involve her in doing more for the community we live in.

Her father: He is 36 years old, lives by himself in a rented house and has a very stable job. He just paid the tuition for my niece's private school last year, which helped her a lot. Economically he is a great provider, but we cannot help to notice that he is not helping her emotionally. He works mostly all day, leaving her alone at home for hours, he likes to invite male friends home and drink a lot. We don't think that's a safe environment with a 15 year old at home. He mistreats her verbally and in one case physically pushing her to the floor and kicking her, CPS was involved but they only talked to him and warned him that if he touched her again he was going to face charges.

My niece: She has been through a lot! As she was growing up she witnessed many fights between her mom and dad, and in most cases she witnessed her father mistreating her mom verbally and sometimes physically. She was also mistreated verbally by her father when my sister was alive. Then, at 13 year of age she lost her mom. Her grades went down and was not doing good at school, but with some encouragement from all of us (not her father) and summer school classes she brought her grades up and passed the year. Now in a private school she has had a one on one class that has helped her a lot to concentrate and get her grades up. She is not a girl that goes out with friend and does illegal things or has a bad conduct. She usually goes out with us (her grandma and me).

My point: She is tired of her controlling father, he's always checking on her, he doesn't trust her and wants to know everything she does. She knows he can give her all she wants but she is not afraid to work for it, we've always told her that many young kids go to college and work at the same time, and that if she ever needs helps she can count on us. So, the question is: what does she need to do to emancipate? I read some people saying she has to be 100% independent. When that time comes, what does she have to do? Does she have to go to court? Whats the emancipation process?

Another thing. Do you know where we can get psychological help for her? We want to help her heal from all the things she has been through. Maybe a low-cost psychologist or organization that can help?

I thank you for all the help, in advance! I hope I didn't bore or confused you with the whole story, just wanted you to get the whole picture.

[Dogmatique]

The only person who can take her to a therapist is her father. End of story.

She will not qualify for emancipation - at all. Even if.

And frankly, her father SHOULD be checking on her. He's being what we call a parent.

[xochescobar]

I understand that he's trying to be a father. But verbal and physical abuse, I do not consider that parenting, don't you agree?

We would be very happy if he tried to bond with her, but forcing her to stay with him just because he is her father, I mean, you have to earn your kid's love and trust, something he didn't do for 13 years and his actions show he is not willing to change.

Thanks for your response!

[Dogmatique]

I understand that he's trying to be a father. But verbal and physical abuse, I do not consider that parenting, don't you agree?

What you think about his parenting is irrelevant.

Tread very carefully here. VERY carefully. I foresee a time when Dad simply forbids contact with any of you.

We would be very happy if he tried to bond with her, but forcing her to stay with him just because he is her father, I mean, you have to earn your kid's love and trust, something he didn't do for 13 years and his actions show he is not willing to change.

Thanks for your response!

He doesn't have to prove anything to you, me or anybody else; CPS has not seen fit to remove the child, and that's the only thing that matters.

[cbg]

By the dates you have given I am estimating your niece as 15. There is only one state that will even consider emancipating a 15 year old; that state is not Texas; even in the one state that will consider emancipating a minor that young, that minor had better either be a nationally recognized sports figure or has spent the last few years working as an extra in the Hunger Games movies.

When she turns 16, IF she is ALREADY LIVING ON HER OWN and paying 100% of her own expenses, the state of Texas may, if they are in a magnanimous mood the day she goes to court and shows them her pay stubs and her rent receipts and her utility bills and her insurance policies and her report cards with at least a B+ average and explains how she will continue to pay all her own bills while still going to school and getting those grades if she loses her full time job and explains why she is able to raise herself better than her father can raise her, deign to consider her emancipated.

Oh, she's not going to be living on her own (that means, not with you or her grandmother or her aunt or her boyfriend or her BFF but on her OWN) and does not have the means to pay market rate for rent and utilities and food and clothing and insurance and medical care and transportation and school fees and supplies and all the other necessities of life?

Then she can't be emancipated.

[comment/ator]

Mere biology and simple fact makes this person a biological father to this child. He was selected for the position by your sister, the mother. You are only an aunt. Your sister is gone. Therefore, the child has ONE living biological parent. He's the one who is going to be calling the shots here unless he is unwilling and/or declared officially unfit. And he is still going to be financially on the hook for this child, so why should the courts see fit to let her siblings and parent dictate how the child will be raised and treated and bonded with her other parent. He doesn't it is true sound like the finest of the finest in parenting material, but if you really want to make the next few years better for the child, why don't you try to help him parent her instead of being combative with him? If she is having trouble with her stepmother, if she is being neglected, mistreated, etc. instead of trying to get her to be more combative with her father, to try to get emancipated (which isn't telling her how bad he is, and how she is being verbally abused

[Dogmatique]

I understand that he's trying to be a father. But verbal and physical abuse, I do not consider that parenting, don't you agree?

We would be very happy if he tried to bond with her, but forcing her to stay with him just because he is her father, I mean, you have to earn your kid's love and trust, something he didn't do for 13 years and his actions show he is not willing to change.

Thanks for your response!

Tell me something. If she didn't want to go to school, would you agree that it's okay because her teachers haven't earned her trust? They won't cater to her, and their actions show they are not willing to change?

No?

Didn't think so.