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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    17

    Default Child Support For A Child Living With Grandparents

    My husband pays child support to his ex wife, but their child isn't living with her anymore she is living with his parents (for about 3 weeks now.) My husband doesn't mind paying child support if it is really supporting his child. He would much rather pay his parents than her considering the situation, but he is afraid if he goes back to court for modification she will show up to court and give the court a sob story about how they live in a bad neighborhood and these living arrangements are only temporary (eventhough this is probably not true due to the fact that it is fitting in perfect to her lifestyle to be a part time mom and still collect money.) (she has fraudenltly filled out child support documents before, she is a scam artist.) How long is it reasonable to wait before the court is petitioned, or will she always be able to say she is going to get her back. Oh by the way, yes my husband did want her to come live with him, but we live 700 miles away, without the ex's support the child will not stay with us.

  2. #2
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: child support question

    Is child "living or visitng"? Support should be paid but paid to person who is actually caring for child! If the child has indeed moved then support should go to caretaker of child but before you change payments take Ex to court to get support modified to current caretaker of child.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: child support question

    She has been there consistently for 3 weeks, and my husbands parents (the childs grandparents) enrolled her in school where they live. I think if my husband petitions the court she will show up and say it is only temporary, or she may even just go pick her up so she doesn't loose the child support, and this wouldn't be in the childs best interest.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: child support question

    Your husband can keep paying child support pursuant to the court order, or petition for a modification of the court order. As the court will not retroactively modify support past the date of the petition, if he does not pay court-ordered child support and does not request modification he will end up with an arrearage that he ultimately will be expected to pay.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: Child Support For A Child Living With Grandparents

    So in six months if she is still living with the grandparents the court will not make her pay back that money? So if thats the case he is stuck between a rock and a hard place because if he files a petition which is going to cost money to obtain an attorney and she shows up and says its only temporary we are out the money for the attorney and the child support will remain. Or he can wait 6mo. or a year then she will just go pick the child up to prevent loosing the support, in the mean time the grandparents are footing the bill for everything. My husband is not trying to get out of paying support he just wants to make sure it is going to take care of his child.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Child Support For A Child Living With Grandparents

    Start documenting EVERYTHING.
    When she moved in, why did she move in. Keep receipts for EVERYTHING that has to do with the child. Food, clothing, sporting equip, school supplies etc....
    keep everything from the school, including all homework, pictures of the child playing with her new friends, everything.
    I don't know why the child isn't with her mom, that may be personal, but if it's because Mom is unfit, start documenting that as well.
    Save any e-mails between Mom and Dad.
    Jot down any conversations between Mom and Dad, including dates/times/ and what was talked about.
    In 6 months, go back to court, and file for a modification. If you go in prepared, the judge will most likely NOT disrupt the child, and not order the mother to take her back.
    The courts do what's best for the child. Pulling a kid out of their enviorment, is frowned apon.
    1 of the snags you will run into is why the childes GRANDPARENTS are taking care of the child, and not the father.
    Keep paying child support, like everything is status quo.
    Paying for the next 6 months will be minimal in the long run.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Child Support For A Child Living With Grandparents

    If dad doesn't want to pay the support to mom, dad needs to petition to modify the order. If he chooses not to petition to modify the support order, the court will decline to retroactively modify the court order.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Child Support For A Child Living With Grandparents

    If, in your opinion, it would not be in the child's best interest if the mother reclaimed her from the grandparents, then why couldn't your husband petition the court for a change in custody on grounds of abandonment. Three weeks seems like a long time for a custodial parent to leave a child without definite plans for returning to reclaim her....sounds like abandonment to me.

    When you say "without the ex's support the child will not stay with us", is that because the child doesn't want to live with you or because the current custody orders limited moving the child out of state without court approval?

  9. #9

    Default Re: Child Support For A Child Living With Grandparents

    I went through something similar approx 15 years ago. My ex-wife, who was being sought out by the law, hid away in a mental hospital to avoid apprehension, and gave "gaurdianship" of our children to a friend of hers. (I actually found a copy of a notorized statement to that affect, which she gave to the school district)

    It took me three months to track down the childrens' whereabouts, at which time I filed a petition to suspend support payments. Of course I petitioned for full custody at that time as well. Even after being dischared from the psych ward, she still hid the children away from me and didn't even bother to visit them once. (Imagine being 2, 4 and 5 years old and going through that!)

    After another 6 weeks I finally got my hearing with the support office and to my amazement was denied on the grounds of...and these were their exact words to me....."Well, SOMEBODY has to pay!" It didn't seem to matter to them that the money was going into my ex-wifes bank account and not to the person who had actual physical custody. Just as long as the sperm doner was getting screwed around, that's all that mattered.

    A week after that court fiasco, I had my custody hearing. Of course on the very same day as the custody hearing my ex took the children back from her "friend" and produced a hand written note from her psychiatrist saying that she was "all better now".

    Naturally that was good enough for the courts to deny my custody petition. Seems that mothers can be whacked out on illegal drugs, have a criminal history, have several serious mental issues, ignore court rulings pertaining to shared custody, and get away with every bit of it with the courts blessings.

    I have totally given up on the court system. They have failed me, and failed my children. Now that they are adults (at least two are), who do they come to now???? Me! And they refuse to have any contact with their mother.

    Good luck. You have a long road ahead of you, and probably won't be able to have a normal relationship with your kids until they are adults.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: Child Support For A Child Living With Grandparents

    The child is about to be 15 yrs old. She doesn't want to live with my husband and I because we have rules, and for 15 yrs now she has had no boundaries. When she first went to live with the grandparents my husband called his ex wife and said the child should live with us. The child is having serious problems right now so my husband was going to have her come live with us and get her counseling and enroll her in school. Her mother initially agreed but when she woke up the next day, it was a new day and decided it would be best for the child to reside with his parents so she could still go pick her up and be a part time mom in my oppinion, and take her back over there at the end of the weekend or the end of the day which ever suited her social life best. His parents supported his ex wifes decision and went and enrolled the child in school against my husbands wishes. Without the grandparents support and the mothers support the child is just going to run away. So we are going to spend thousands of dollars for an attorney and court, and it is not going to improve the situation. My husband has been failed by the court system before, she filled out fradulent child care paper work when the child was staying at home, then when she figured out she wasnt getting what she wanted she filled continuances for about 1 yr, in the mean time my husband was having to take off from work to be present for court 700 miles away, and his attorney would call him the day before and say the court granted her another continuance. Also, eventhough she is capable of working full time, she "got fired" from her full time job and took a part time job just before the last modification. She is a scam artisit. And the court system doesn't support fathers. So pretty much there is no help for my husband or the child, and I can't really feel sorry for the grandparents they brought this on themselves, but I do believe they should receive the support since they are the ones supporting the child. Thank you everyone for your posts.

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