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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    7

    Default Unilaterally Changing Dates of Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: OK

    I have a court order for my 8 year old to see her dad out of state for two weeks this summer over her birthday. For the sake of the post, I have sole legal and physical custody. No dates are in the order just the basic stipulations of "two weeks during minor child's birthday". Three months ago we agreed to the 9th-23rd of July with a contingency that changes may be made up to four weeks prior of the visitation. I informed him that I needed to change the dates to the 13th-27th, still two weeks during her birthday, five weeks prior. A family matter arose and I can not fly out and get her until the 27th (I also have a two month old who needs watching). He is refusing anything but the 9th because I "already agreed" and says " I'm getting her on the 9th no matter what". I've offered three compromises of the 11th, the evening of the 10th or making no changes but meeting me halfway( a ten hour drive for both) on the 23rd so I can bring my two month old with me. He still refuses. Claims he will be showing up at my home on the 9th, because he doesn't agree to the change and will come to get her "try and stop" him. I guess my question is: if I refuse when he claims he will show up on the 9th, what rights do I have? Will I be in violation of the order even if there are no dates and I have still stayed with the two weeks during her birthday and given him ample time as stated by the order? If he shows up, what can I do legally?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Changing Dates of Visitation

    Quote Quoting Bremer0714
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: OK

    I have a court order for my 8 year old to see her dad out of state for two weeks this summer over her birthday. For the sake of the post, I have sole legal and physical custody. No dates are in the order just the basic stipulations of "two weeks during minor child's birthday". Three months ago we agreed to the 9th-23rd of July with a contingency that changes may be made up to four weeks prior of the visitation. I informed him that I needed to change the dates to the 13th-27th, still two weeks during her birthday, five weeks prior. A family matter arose and I can not fly out and get her until the 27th (I also have a two month old who needs watching). He is refusing anything but the 9th because I "already agreed" and says " I'm getting her on the 9th no matter what". I've offered three compromises of the 11th, the evening of the 10th or making no changes but meeting me halfway( a ten hour drive for both) on the 23rd so I can bring my two month old with me. He still refuses. Claims he will be showing up at my home on the 9th, because he doesn't agree to the change and will come to get her "try and stop" him. I guess my question is: if I refuse when he claims he will show up on the 9th, what rights do I have? Will I be in violation of the order even if there are no dates and I have still stayed with the two weeks during her birthday and given him ample time as stated by the order? If he shows up, what can I do legally?
    You made an agreement with a contingency, therefore I do not see how dad can hold you to that. However, at the same time your original proposal of the 13-27th would not be acceptable to me either, nor would the evening of the 10th or the 11th. All of those days are totally inconvenient days for a working parent who has to travel out of state to pick up their child..

    Perhaps if you proposed a two week period that started on a Friday evening or a Saturday, or even early Sunday you might be viewed as proposing something reasonable.
    Otherwise, it would probably just be a whole lot simpler to let dad pick up on the 9th, and you pick up on whatever day works for you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Changing Dates of Visitation

    Why not let dad pick up the child on the original date and then you pick up the child on the 27th?

    Of course that would mean dad would get four extra days but you don't really have a problem with that, do you?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Changing Dates of Visitation

    Please read this OP's post hx.

    I honestly don't think this OP has malevolent intent towards Dad.

    (And it's not exactly common for me to say that )

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Changing Dates of Visitation

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Please read this OP's post hx.

    I honestly don't think this OP has malevolent intent towards Dad.

    (And it's not exactly common for me to say that )
    Then even less reason to not allow the four extra days with dad.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Changing Dates of Visitation

    After reviewing her previous thread I rescind my suggestion that dad get the 4 extra days, since this is a first extended visit ever for the child and dad and dad has been a virtual stranger up until now.

    However, I repeat my advice that the visitation needs to start on a weekend...its unreasonable otherwise due to the travel. Mom, you really need to change YOUR plans so that you can pick the child up on the 23rd, as originally arranged.

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