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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2016
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    1

    Default Changing Children's Names Against the Other Parent's Wishes

    My question involves name change laws in the State of: Iowa
    Ex is 12 years older than me with 3 kids (teenagers now, oldest is 18, child support order in place, he does not pay, he's an addict and immature). He and I have 2 common children together. When we split up in 2013 they were 2 years and 3 months. He got a confirmed case of child abuse against him. A little over a year went by and I filed to re instate the kids no contact order. Judge gave him supervised visits. After the first one I took my oldest to a therapist because her behavior dramatically changed. After the second visit it was so bad that she was diagnosed with PTSD (at 3 years old, mind you) as a direct result of having to see him. All visits stopped immediately. At the same time he committed yet another crime and was jailed so he ended up not showing for his visitation 2 times before they were taken away. He has been in and out of jail since and is currently serving for his second domestic (luckiest criminal- got it knocked down to first offense). It has been well over 2 years since any contact has been made. He and I have an existing lifetime no contact order. I have an attorney but he keeps telling me to wait. My children will be starting school in the fall and i need them learning my last name, not his. No custody or child support order is in place. How can I prove abandonment? He's literally not provided for them at all. I'm working towards getting his rights stripped. I'm scared that if we go back to court (he won't consent to the name change- but if I can prove abandonment we won't have to) the judge won't rule in my favor. Soley because of my previous experience with trying to reinstate the no contact order. Please help me!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: Lots of Info, Trying to Determine Chances of Being Granted Name Change

    Quote Quoting MermaidMom
    View Post
    My question involves name change laws in the State of: Iowa
    Ex is 12 years older than me with 3 kids (teenagers now, oldest is 18, child support order in place, he does not pay, he's an addict and immature). He and I have 2 common children together. When we split up in 2013 they were 2 years and 3 months. He got a confirmed case of child abuse against him. A little over a year went by and I filed to re instate the kids no contact order. Judge gave him supervised visits. After the first one I took my oldest to a therapist because her behavior dramatically changed. After the second visit it was so bad that she was diagnosed with PTSD (at 3 years old, mind you) as a direct result of having to see him. All visits stopped immediately. At the same time he committed yet another crime and was jailed so he ended up not showing for his visitation 2 times before they were taken away. He has been in and out of jail since and is currently serving for his second domestic (luckiest criminal- got it knocked down to first offense). It has been well over 2 years since any contact has been made. He and I have an existing lifetime no contact order. I have an attorney but he keeps telling me to wait. My children will be starting school in the fall and i need them learning my last name, not his. No custody or child support order is in place. How can I prove abandonment? He's literally not provided for them at all. I'm working towards getting his rights stripped. I'm scared that if we go back to court (he won't consent to the name change- but if I can prove abandonment we won't have to) the judge won't rule in my favor. Soley because of my previous experience with trying to reinstate the no contact order. Please help me!!!
    If a judge gave him supervised visits then there is a custody order in place. If there is no court order for child support, why haven't you gotten one? How will you prove abandonment if there was a NO CONTACT order ?

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