Hello,
I am 45 years old, and have never been arrested in my life, until this week.
My girlfriend and I have been going through financial and other troubles and have been fighting. Unfortunately, some of the fights have gotten physical with me and sometimes both of us hitting each other.
During this recent fight, a neighbor that doesn't like us, appears to have called the police, and then we both learned how horrible ever getting charged with domestic violence is. We do have one child together , and he was there when the police arrived. Without going into all the details, the cop noticed a red mark on her face, and a bruise on her arm from sometime ago. He apparently took pictures of this, and the judge mentioned it at first appearance. I also had an old bruise on my arm, which I told the officer about, and he much later took pictures of, but conveniently left all that off in the report.
He managed to get an avidavit from my girlfriend stating I hit her in the head twice , which wasn't exactly true. It was more of a struggle, and she wound up giving me my son to hold. She later followed me to the bedroom, where I closed the door and sat with my son. That's when most of the noise happened as she started yelling and screaming and beating about the door.
Like an idiot, I also talked to the cop, and it appears our stories conflict with one another, in that she didn't mention my son being there during the dispute, and I did. She may have been trying to protect, as he wasn't involved , and nothing happened to him. I was so stressed that my memory of the incident was incorrect as I told the cop I was trying to physically get my son from her, but I wasn't and didn't , as she voluntarily gave him, and then later wanted him back.
There is also another shocking and untrue element in the police report of a "Domestic Violence Questionaire". It doesn't feature testimony from my girlfriend, but is apparently some questions the police ask. These are horrible about me ever threatening with a weapon, "capable of killing", etc. I was shocked to see they are all checked yes. I have no idea why my girlfriend would have answered these questions like this, or if she did. I was later told they are used for the requirement of a gps monitor upon any release on bond, and since the judge didn't require that, that may be a good sign. I was also told the questions aren't generally used to determine offers at arraignment. This was from public defender, so I have no idea if I'm being told the whole story. I'm concerned also, because this neighbor that complained offered information to the police that I own firearms. Even though I do, they have been in storage in the house , unloaded, disabled for many years since my son was born. I was also never an active sports, and only one neighbor ever knew or saw any guns I have ever owned. The police asked about guns right away, and I was confused, and told them the truth about where they were and the condition, and they did not pursue finding or taking any of my property.
There are some other details to the case, but what I'm really trying to understand right now is how and if we can get a "diversion" and get the charges dropped. I have the arraignment scheduled a few weeks from now, and am out on bond, which was set at 1,500. I elected and qualified for a public defender, but plan to talk to attorneys, even though my financial resources are really limited. One the one hand, I don't want to take a chance with the public defender if it could mean this getting much worse than it has to be. On the other hand, the fees for an attorney are quite high.
I'm very frightened, and this entire experience has been one of the worst of my life. I fully realize that I screwed up, and am happy that I will now know to never, ever do that again. Also, my girlfriend has screwed up as well, and although she's protected by the Florida laws, the long reaching effects of this are already devastating her and our family. The no-contact order has been brutal, and apparently since I work from home, live here with her and so on, decided to temporarily move out with my son so that I could return to this home until trial. I assume she is pursuing the option of lifting the no contact to a no violent contact, but that is also an incredibly difficult and time consuming process, and the system is designed such that she knows little/nothing about her rights to do anything, while I have no rights to do anything about it.
Without making this post much longer than it needs to be, I wanted to add that I've been told there is limited or no process to actually plead my side of the case (or hers) during arraignment. I don't know what that means, and I don't know if things like the pictures of her marks will have a negative impact, and make this much worse than it already is. I really don't want to go jail, and I fear I might not survive there for very long. I also can't afford thousands of dollars in fines/fees. I've never been arrested, and I've learned my lesson. Please help with any ideas you may have on this case. Thank You.

