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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    1

    Default Addiction Recovery and Dating a Felon as a Basis for Custody Change

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Maryland

    Hello, I am currently a mother of an 8 year old daughter with a father that I am no longer with. Recently I became pregnant with another man and at the time I found out I was drinking and taking pain killers to often so I decided to go to rehab for 2 weeks to clean it out of my system so the baby wasn't impacted. I currently have 50/50 custody with the dad. The dad is now threatening to take me to court over custody of my current daughter because I left (he knew I was going). Can he do this because I was gone for 2 weeks to better myself?

    To add to the problem, the father of my unborn child lives in Florida and is currently in jail for probation violation. He left the state without consent. He previously had a felony drug charge a few years ago. When he is out of jail he plans to move to maryland to help raise the baby but I am worried my Ex will try to take my daughter from me. If my new boyfriend/childs father is completely drug free and clean would my Ex be able to do that?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    1,142

    Default Re: Dating a Felon

    You weren't concerned about your drinking and pain pill usage and your questionable lifestyle (dating ex felon on probation) and its possible effect on your vulnerable 8 year old daughter, but when you became pregnant with your TRUE love's child, you went into rehab, doing god knows what with the eight year old in the meantime. And gee, when the boyfriend gets out of jail, he's moving up to be with you (in other words, he's homeless and unemployed!) and he is going to help you raise your baby together. What about the other child???? If I were this child's father, I'd be trying for full custody. Can you not see how this sounds, in regard to an eight year old child that you so obviously don't give a flip for? Your emphasis on whether your boyfriend is or is not testing clean for drugs is telling. There are other things involved in parenting, and this doesn't sound like a good environment for a child even if he is out of jail and testing clean as Jesus. Based on what you've said here I wouldn't let you (and your ex felon due to drugs) boyfriend foster a kitten. But then, the child's father may not be a whole lot better. Some children are truly unlucky in their birth parents.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Behind a Desk
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    98,846

    Default Re: 123

    Quote Quoting CJD123
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    Recently I became pregnant with another man and at the time I found out I was drinking and taking pain killers to often so I decided to go to rehab for 2 weeks to clean it out of my system so the baby wasn't impacted.
    If you were taking opiates, the standard of care would normally be some form of maintenance (usually methadone maintenance) during the pregnancy, as opiate withdrawal during pregnancy can trigger a miscarriage. Also, a two-week program is barely more than a detox, so if you need "rehab" you should be enrolled at least in an IOP.
    Quote Quoting CJD123
    I currently have 50/50 custody with the dad. The dad is now threatening to take me to court over custody of my current daughter because I left (he knew I was going). Can he do this because I was gone for 2 weeks to better myself?
    If you were just fine, thank you very much, as a parent before going in for detox, appropriate arrangements were made for the child during detox, and you are presently stable in a recovery program, the mere fact that you went through a two week program isn't a compelling basis for modification of custody. But there are other facts, not known to us, that could affect a court's best interest analysis.
    Quote Quoting CJD123
    To add to the problem, the father of my unborn child lives in Florida and is currently in jail for probation violation. He left the state without consent. He previously had a felony drug charge a few years ago. When he is out of jail he plans to move to maryland to help raise the baby but I am worried my Ex will try to take my daughter from me.
    If your drug-addicted, convicted felon, probationer boyfriend moves into your home, that's not a good sign either for the stability or appropriateness of the home, or for your recovery. If he plans to live elsewhere and participate in the raising of his own child, then it isn't likely to be an issue.
    Quote Quoting CJD123
    If my new boyfriend/childs father is completely drug free and clean would my Ex be able to do that?
    I've been around people in recovery for a long time, and... no, I don't buy that the baby is going to turn you and your boyfriend into loving, drug-free parents. I wish things worked that way, but the overwhelming majority of the time, they don't. Recovery is a long process, very often punctuated by relapse.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: 123

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post

    I've been around people in recovery for a long time, and... no, I don't buy that the baby is going to turn you and your boyfriend into loving, drug-free parents. I wish things worked that way, but the overwhelming majority of the time, they don't. Recovery is a long process, very often punctuated by relapse.

    I think I've just been rendered speechless. I don't believe I've ever seen a truer statement spoken here. Thank you.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    1,142

    Default Re: 123

    Double thumbs up likes!

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