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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Michigan
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    28,906

    Default Re: Is it to late to get back child support?

    The context: This thread in which a parent asks about the possibility of collecting unpaid child support after the child has reached the age of 18.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Is it to late to get back child support?

    You both are wrong, in my opinion.
    He was wrong for not paying it in the first place, and you are wrong for waiting until you need it for YOURSELF.
    That support is for your child, not you. Just because you lost your job, doesn't mean you get that money for yourself.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Is it to late to get back child support?

    Dad2 is wrong. It is not your daughters money, it is your money that you needed to support your daughter. I can't stand when fathers (in most cases) get mad because they have to give the mothers money. The father owes you money that you spent on your daughter back when you were raising her. You should have the money for yourself. He owes you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Is it to late to get back child support?

    Hear! Hear!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Is it to late to get back child support?

    Particularly true when the mother is not receiving any form of aid or other financial assistance.......daycare is expensive and it's just a fraction of the cost of raising a child.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Is it to late to get back child support?

    Quote Quoting tmyfrnk
    View Post
    I can't stand when fathers (in most cases) get mad because they have to give the mothers money..
    Most of us dont get mad that we have to give the mothers money.
    We get mad at
    A) How much we have to give
    B) We have no say in how that money is used
    C) We are angry that we need to work 50-60 hours a week to survive, while the Mom works ( if at all ) 10 hours per week. And then gets the courts sympathy.
    Of course there are deadbeat dads out there, and they should be hung by their nutz. They are cheating no one but the kids. But most ( by far ) dads are on time, every time with their payments.

    Quote Quoting Just Breath
    Particularly true when the mother is not receiving any form of aid or other financial assistance
    Then, the mother should go out and get a job
    Yes, I know the job market sucks.
    I know health setbacks can prevent the person from getting certain types of work.
    I know what it's like to have to swallow some pride, and get a job that's "beneath" you.
    But there are countless mothers out there, who after losing a job ( assuming they had 1 at all ) cry because life sucks.Instead of going back to court, and asking for more support, go get a job, no matter how small, no matter how degrading, go do what you need to, to support that child......
    We do
    Now, I'm not saying the original poster is a lazy good for nothing mother who is taking advantage of the system. I have no way of knowing that.
    But what I am saying, is that I am bitter, I have a reason to be, and there are tens of thousands of Fathers who feel this way.
    I stand by my original statement.
    The mother and father are both at fault here.
    He should have been paying, she should have made sure of that.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Is it to late to get back child support?

    Quote Quoting Dad2
    View Post
    Then, the mother should go out and get a job
    Yes, I know the job market sucks.
    I know health setbacks can prevent the person from getting certain types of work.
    I know what it's like to have to swallow some pride, and get a job that's "beneath" you.
    But there are countless mothers out there, who after losing a job ( assuming they had 1 at all ) cry because life sucks.Instead of going back to court, and asking for more support, go get a job, no matter how small, no matter how degrading, go do what you need to, to support that child......
    We do
    Now, I'm not saying the original poster is a lazy good for nothing mother who is taking advantage of the system. I have no way of knowing that.
    But what I am saying, is that I am bitter, I have a reason to be, and there are tens of thousands of Fathers who feel this way.
    I stand by my original statement.
    The mother and father are both at fault here.
    He should have been paying, she should have made sure of that.
    My comment referred specifically to my own situation, Dad2, and I DO have a job....I have ALWAYS had a full time job. Plus, I commute 2 hrs per day in order to obtain the highest possible salary for my position....since I'm not just a single parent but the ONLY parent my teenager has ever known. I also bought and maintain my own home. In fact, I can leap tall buildings in a single bound....and, although it has been very tough, I haven't needed child support to survive....until now. I'm "in line" for a child support action through the AG (since August) and the father promises to draw it out as long as possible. He has known about the child since prior to her birth but would have preferred I had an abortion. His response to my pregnancy? Kids grow up without fathers all the time"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Collecting Child Support Arrearages

    Dad2, I'm interested in your opinion of my case. Like you, the attorney for the "father" in my case is "just outraged" that I would seek support after all these years. He and I were never married and, in fact, I only saw him twice in my life and only slept with him once. So, I'm just curious as to whether you would suggest that instead of going to court for support, I just tell my daughter that we'll now just have to forfeit our "luxuries" such as internet, cable, cell phones, entertainment, tennis and voice lessons in order to adjust to our current financial hardships (I am now also suddenly having to support my mother who is in poor health)? And don't even get me started on the opportunities she will be forced to miss in high school. My daughter is not old enough to get a job and I have no time left in my 11 hour workday for a part-time job and still be able to take care of everyone. Meanwhile, my daughter has "googled" her alleged father only to find his recent boastings of wealth, luxury cars, luxury home, frequent exotic vacations with his 3rd wife and plans for early retirement.

    For the record, she was 1 year old the last time I talked to him when he "no showed" the DNA test he had previously agreed to and ultimately decided he did not want to be a part of her life since he was getting married. Recently I learned that the woman he married that year had a young child from a previous marriage and that child's father had apparently stopped paying support a year or two earlier. The state caught up with him in 2005 since she went on state aid after her divorce from my child's father 4 years later. Apparently they are garnishing his wages for $80,000 in support. So, basically, when my daughter was just 1 year old, her father chose to support someone else's child instead of his own.

    Still think it is outrageous for me to ask for support for the few remaining years of my daughter's childhood?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Collecting Child Support Arrearages

    Quote Quoting Just Breath
    View Post
    Still think it is outrageous for me to ask for support for the few remaining years of my daughter's childhood?
    Not at all.
    I never used the word outrageous. As I stated before, the father has the duty to provide for a child that he brought into this world.
    You should go after child support. And you should ask for whatever your state guideline says you should get.
    However, it would be outrageous if you were to seek retroactive child support.
    The fathers don't have many laws on our side, but 1 of the few things we do have, is the "retroactive support". And the fact that it's almost never implemented.
    He should however, be paying from this point on. He should also have a visitation schedule with the child, if he wants. And you should not stand in the way of that.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Collecting Child Support Arrearages

    The suit recently filed by the AG office seeks maximum child support and 4 yrs retro back support. The suit also offers standard visitation (I have never refused visitation....he just chose not to). I have since offered to settle the matter for less than half of the support suggested and no back support provided he act like an adult and agree to resolve the matter as quickly as possible. He has ignored my offer, so, as far as I'm concerned, I'll accept whatever the state guidelines determine to be in my child's best interest and whatever the Judge orders....if that includes back support, "oh well". I'm just tired of banging my head against a brick wall.

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